Film

R.S.V.P. tries to be a clever, interesting little movie about the “art” of murder. Hal, a former grad student at an unnamed university, decides to have a going away party for his best friend Jimmy, and invite all of their friends from school. Unfortunately for Jimmy, Hal’s fascination with murder has turned into a compulsion. In one of the poorest examples of foreshadowing perhaps in cinematic history, not to mention a nearly sacrilegious invocation of Hitch, Hal and Jimmy talk about the m…vie Rope. In the second-tier Hitchcock film, two men kill a college mate, stuff his body in a chest and have a party over it. Not content with smearing one good name, R.S.V.P. also apes Agatha Christie’s classic And Then There Were None. Hal’s plan not only includes having a party, but he plans on killing all ten of his guests, without any of them raising an eyebrow along the way. In spite of its meager efforts to elevate itself above the rest through some faux-intellectual allusions and a lack of real gore or even gratuitous nudity, this is just another C-rate slasher movie.

It’s poorly written, which is its main problem. Galluzzo, who wrote, produced and directed this garbage, doesn’t have the sophistication as a scribe to generate any suspense from the material, and he doesn’t have the skill as a director to draw it from his scenes, either. The pot-smoke-induced conversations sound extremely forced, the antics are overly goofy…is it really that hard to write an authentic “high”? What’s worse, though, is the inconsistency when it comes to Hal: if he’s so interested in fame (which he claims to be the driving factor), why blame it on someone else? R.S.V.P. is also interminably long, even at 94 minutes, poorly acted (Mewes can only play Mewes, everyone else is stilted and hackneyed), predictable and just plain senseless. There are smarter, hipper, funnier, scarier and just generally superior independent horror films out there to sample. R.S.V.P. is just a blight.

Video

R.S.V.P. hits the home theater market in its original theatrical aspect ratio, an anamorphically encoded 1.85:1 frame. The film’s independent roots are definitely visible in the picture, beyond the natural filmy feel. There are numerous artifacts and streaks in the picture, which really hurts the rating. Background detail is disappointingly vague, as is shadow delineation. The rich, woodsy hues of the apartment look good, and the few high-contrast shots of Vegas (the only “Stock shot” they missed is that stupid neon cowboy, everything else is taken basically form the Las Vegas Chamber of Commerce) reveal no glaring pixelation errors. I took off a quarter point each for unanimated menus, and for one of the five worst layer changes that I’ve ever seen.

Audio

Lions Gate presents R.S.V.P. in Dolby Digital 5.1. It isn’t the most active or dynamic 5.1 track I’ve heard, but it’s not exactly dead, either. The circular nature of the setting allows for plenty of localizations, particularly in the rear speakers, as we can hear the din of the party almost constantly. There’s not a lot of distinct effects in either rear channel, though, making it play more like a 4.1, or rather, a 4.0. The subwoofer, unfortunately, is absolutely neglected, even by the films pompous and self-important classical score. This one is about average for a 5.1.

Special Features

This isn’t the standard Lions Gate bare-bones catalogue title; R.S.V.P. actually has several bonus features, starting with a feature length commentary track, starring director Mark Anthony Galluzzo and cast members Reno Wilson and Daniel Joesph. As commentaries go, this one is pretty annoying, only because all three commentators are extremely impressed with this goofy movie. I can’t believe that not one of them, at any point, recognized that even remotely comparing this to Rope was absolutely ludicrous. There is one interesting detail in the commentary: that originally, this was a non-linear (think Pulp Fiction only crappy) structure with two killers. I’m sure that movie would have sucked, too. He must have been drunk on the idea of watching his own movie, because he mentions that there was plans for a SEQUEL (?!?!?), and that he wants to do a SPECIAL EDITION of this disc. Sounds like it’s time for an ego-trip intervention for Mr. Galluzzo.

The disc also contains twelve deleted scenes, once again available with commentary, where the director basically tells us the scenes were deleted for “pacing.” There isn’t one that belongs in the movie…in fact, I would have deleted probably another dozen scenes. Wrapping up the bonus features is a behind-the-scenes featurette, filmed on digital cameras, by none other than Jay Mewes. It’s ad-hoc, as Jay walks around catching various cast and crew members and talking to them (not interviewing them). Once again, the film plays the “Jay” gimmick to a boring end. While R.S.V.P. is certainly no great shakes as a supplemental package, it’s certainly better than could be expected.

Final Thoughts

If there’s something more annoying that a Scream-like slasher movie, it’s one that thinks it’s above all the rest. R.S.V.P. is an inexplicably smug, excruciatingly boring and pretentious movie that gives indie-horror films a bad name. The mediocrity of the film makes this one to watch on television (probably Sundance Channel), not something to spend money on.

Special Features List

• Director / Cast Commentary
• “Behind The Scenes” Featurette
• 12 Deleted Scenes