Archive for the ‘Unrated Edition’ Category
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Disc Reviews by David Annandale on October 4th, 2007
Scientists Edward Pretorious (Ted Sorel) and Crawford Tillinghast (Jeffrey Coombs) successfully construct a machine (dubbed the “Resonator”) that links our world with another, hostile dimension. Pretorious gets his head bitten off by something summoned by the machine, while Tillinghast is incarcerated in an asylum. Psychiatrist Katherine McMichaels (Barbara Crampton) believes Tillinghast’s story when she discovers his pineal gland is growing enormously, and she has him released into her custody to recreate the experiment. Baaad idea.
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Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on August 29th, 2007
Maybe you’re wondering why there’s a movie starring Zach Braff (Scrubs) and Jason Bateman (Arrested Development) that you never heard about. That’s what I was doing when I first received this disc. I’m a big fan of Braff, and a moderate fan of Bateman, so why was I not in the know on The Ex?
I’ll tell you why. The Ex had only a limited North American release in late 2006, and under a different title: Fast Track. It bombed. Then it disappeared for all but a handful of foreign markets, before washing ashore in DVD-land.
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Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on July 6th, 2007
It’s no secret that horror films these days severely lack originality and overuse violence and gore instead of actually scaring the audience. Sometimes this works and when coinciding with an actual story can make for a good movie. The Hills Have Eyes remake from 2006 wasn’t half bad because there was a tiny amount of depth in the story, combined with the violence that audiences have come to love. But ultimately for me, it didn’t hit the mark, it was just another typical horror movie. I really don’t think the s…
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Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on May 29th, 2007
Hannibal “the cannibal” Lecter is widely recognized as one of the most compelling villains in modern fiction. This film, Hannibal Rising, based on the Thomas Harris book of the same name, presents the origin of the cannibalistic psychopath.
Quick context for this review: I’ve seen all of the Lecter films, and read none of the books. I liked Silence of the Lambs best, followed closely by Manhunter and more distantly by Hannibal and Red Dragon, the 2002 Manhunter remake.
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Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on May 25th, 2007
Portions of this review have been “borrowed” from Brendan Surpless’ recent review of the HD-DVD version of the disc, which can also be found on the site.
Synopsis
Since Steve Carell broke into the comedic world with the film Anchorman, audiences have seemingly labeled him the new comedic genius with some comparing him to Jim Carrey. While I don’t completely agree with such a comment, Carell can definitely carry a film by himself, which is evident here with The 40-Year Old Virgin.
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Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on May 22nd, 2007
Since Steve Carell broke into the comedic world with the film Anchorman, audiences have seemingly labeled him the new comedic genius with some comparing him to Jim Carrey. While I don’t completely agree with such a comment, Carell can definitely carry a film by himself, which is evident here with 40-Year Old Virgin.
The plot of The 40 Year Old Virgin can be summed up by a cursory glance at the title of the movie. In slightly more detail; Steve Carrell plays Andy Stitzer, a socially awkward fo…
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Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on April 12th, 2007
After watching a bloated Tom Sizemore run around tunnels being chased by a man in a rubber suit while making bad jokes, it’s hard to believe that he used to be in good movies like Heat, Saving Private Ryan, and Black Hawk Down. And that’s probably the biggest impression I got from Bottom Feeder, just another example of the latest “anyone can make a direct-to-video horror movie” trend. My, how far Sizemore has fallen.
The plot is minimal, which is par for the course in most horror films…
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Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on April 2nd, 2007
Turistas is a horror film about six hard-bodied 20-somethings whose vacation in paradise turns bad when they’re drugged, robbed and kidnapped on behalf of a crazed doctor who wants to harvest their organs while they’re still alive.
I think that about sums it up. Now let’s talk about why this film isn’t any good. First, while I realize characters in horror movies are supposed to fall into traps, never before have I seen characters this stupid. They don’t just make one or two dumb choices. No, these kids take every single chance they get to put themselves in danger.
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Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on March 27th, 2007
Two films in, and I am still impressed with Warner Brother’s new Raw Feed line of direct-to-DVD horror films. As the direct-to-DVD market continues to grow, Warner’s has jumped out in front with their new studio. The first film, Rest Stop, deftly told the story of a woman stranded at a rest stop and terrorized by a local madman. An entertaining film, but certainly not a new premise.Sublime is a much more developed story, and a very involving film.
Tom Cavanagh from TV’s Ed and Love Mon…
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Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on March 2nd, 2007
Posted in Disc Reviews by Joshua Noyes
Two guys who were used to drinking beer for fun suddenly become fierce competitors in the “Beer Drinking Olympics” in Germany. Todd Wolfhouse (Erik Stolhanske) and his brother Jan (Paul Soter) are from a German-American family but have never visited the Old Country until their grandfather dies and they fly to Germany to scatter his ashes. Todd and Jan arrive during the annual Oktoberfest celebration and accidentally discover a secret competition, “Beerfest,” in which the world’s leading beer guzzlers determine who ca…
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Disc Reviews by David Annandale on January 29th, 2007
Amber Tamblyn, playing Sarah Michelle Gellar’s sister, comes to Tokyo to help Gellar, currently in a hospital and considered insane. The help is too little too late, and soon Tamblyn is contending with the same evil ghosts. Two other storylines intertwine with this one: a young American student goes into the evil house on a dare, and she and her two friends attract the unwelcome attentions of the spectral mother and son. And back in the States, a blended family moving into a new apartment is gradually torn apart by the influence of the malevolent duo.
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Disc Reviews by David Annandale on January 29th, 2007
John Cena is The Marine. Though, as matters develop, The Maroon might be a better handle. At any rate, after being discharged for having Disobeyed a Direct Order in Iraq (where, in a scene distinctly reminiscent of the opening of The Naked Gun, our boy shoots up one of those elusive Al-Qaeda training camps that nobody else seems to be able to find). Readjustment to civilian life is difficult, but then, while heading out for a little holiday with his wife (Kelly Carlson), an unfortunate stop at a gas station results in Carlson being abducted by a violent gang of jewel thieves headed up by Robert Patrick (who comes across, as was pointed out to me, like the love child of Martin Sheen and Chandler Bing).
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Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on January 19th, 2007
Having previously only seen the theatrical trailer for Derailed, I was pleased to finally get a chance to watch it. The movie seemed to be filled with a lot of suspense, but the redundancy of this type of affair movie sort of detoured me. Ultimately, I went into this with expectations of an impressive thriller.
Charles Schine (Clive Owen) is a well-off advertising executive married to a school teacher. Together, they have a teenage daughter. Due to complications with diabetes the couple has to be co…
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Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on January 13th, 2007
Wolf Creek is an Australian horror film that is based on true events; with no certain event in specific it combines a few elements from some missing people�s cases in Australia. The actions of some of the characters mirror that of famous serial killers, most notably that of Ivan Milat who most have speculated is whom the movie is based on. According to Quentin Tarantino Wolf Creek is ��One of the great horror film heavies of the last 25 years� so it seems to be really promising.
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Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on January 13th, 2007
Pulse is a remake of the 2001 Japanese film Kairo which was based on a novel of the same name. The movie opens with Josh entering a dark university library looking for someone named Zieglar, where he is instead met by some creepy old man and an entity that sucks life out of him. At this point everything seemed to be promising, although a bit out there. We soon find out that Josh was the boyfriend of Mattie (Kristen Bell) who is now worried as to where their relationship stands because Josh isn�t speaking with her anymore.
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Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on January 9th, 2007
Four years after Jackass: The Movie took the popular MTV franchise to the big screen, Johnny Knoxville and his gang returned to theatres with Jackass – Number Two. The sequel is bigger, bolder and much more disgusting. But is it better?
In my humble opinion, the sequel equates to more of the same. If you loved the original, you’ll eat this up. If you hated it – and we both know those are the only two options – you can happily make indignant remarks to any friends or family in the “love it” camp.
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Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 28th, 2006
Jet Li’s Fearless is reportedly the star’s final martial arts epic. Since we’re talking about the guy who did Once Upon a Time in China, Twin Warriors and Hero, that fact alone makes this is a significant film for martial arts fans.
Fearless tells the story of Huo Yuanjia, who in 1910 helped found the Jin Wu Sports Federation (Chin Woo Athletic Association), the first civil Kung Fu organization in China. Li plays Yuanjia, who is a Chinese folk hero. The film follows Yuanjia’s life from early childhood until his last days, showing his journey from a weak, little boy to a cocky, selfish bully, and finally to a respected martial arts master and Chinese patriot.
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Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on November 11th, 2006
(Portions of this review have been pulled from the original one-disc version of Jackass, which can also be found in the reviews portion of the site)Synopsis
One could make an attempt at witty prose by comparing Jackass to the works of Kubrick, Cassavettes, Scorsese, or what have you. But look, it’s a bunch of guys, some of whom have reputations in other circles, such as skateboarder Bam Margera and acclaimed director Spike Jonze, doing stunts that you may not have thought, dared or …
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Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on October 15th, 2006
There’s a bunch of people stuck in a bar in the middle of nowhere. Monsters want to eat them. What will they do? That about sums up Feast, a film that’s part comedy, part horror, and all around over the top. This is the winning project from season three of Project Greenlight, a contest and documentary series founded by Matt Damon and Ben Affleck back in 2000. What does that mean? Feast is a low-budget film helmed by a rookie director, based on an amateur script.
Rookie and amateur are often words associated with low quality, but this gore-fest is actually pretty good.
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Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on October 7th, 2006
If Jackass was on the Travel Channel, the result would be Wildboyz. I think this show can best be described as “perversely fascinating”. On the one hand, any sane person would never sit in a hot tub full of alligators, or step into the ring with a champion Thai boxer. On the other hand, it really is fascinating to see these morons visit the wilds of Africa, see rat-infested temples in India or face off against the Russian hockey team. While most travel programs would discuss the history of the locations…
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Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on September 25th, 2006
Synopsis
Boy, this haunted technology stuff is getting out of hand. Seems a body can’t touch a single appliance or toy without some evil spirit emerging in smite-mode. In this instance, the problem is a survival-horror video game called Stay Alive, which not only refuses to let you stop playing, after your character dies, you die in the same way. At the root of it all is the Countess Elizabeth Bathory, who has been the subject of many a film already. Unaware of this, our usual batch of charact…
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Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on September 5th, 2006
Synopsis
Anna Faris takes a job as a social worker, moving into a house with the evil presences we know and love from The Grudge. Meanwhile, next door, Craig Bierko is about to deal with The War of the Worlds. And off we go, as the movie riffs one parody of recent films after another.
At the helm is David Zucker, part of the team responsible for the Airplane! and Naked Gun films, and much the same kind of sensibility pervades this film. There’s plenty of fun, but…
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Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on July 6th, 2006
There is no shortage of vampire stories out there. There’s certainly no shortage of kick butt chicks dressed as sparsely as possible running around in depressed future populated worlds. Underworld, without a doubt, does the combination better than anyone. Ultraviolet makes a grand attempt that really ends up being more of a ride than anything else. Now, I can usually follow the most convoluted storylines, but this one gave me some trouble. It seems that while trying to create a super soldier (where is Mulder and Scully when you need them) the government made a big oops and created something akin to a vampire.
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Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on May 5th, 2006
Synopsis
Game tester Allen Covert is evicted from his apartment, and winds up rooming with his grandmother (Doris Roberts) and her two friends, the stone-on-meds Shirley Knight and the sexually predatory Shirley Jones. He attempts to keep this rather humiliating set-up secret from co-workers and sexy new boss/potential love interest Linda Cardinelli.
All of this is tied in with game development, and the film is essentially an extended product placement for the Xbox, thus making one question…
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Disc Reviews by David Annandale on April 12th, 2006
Synopsis
Three friends are driving across Australia. In a particularly desolate national park, their car mysteriously dies, and they accept help from a passing bushman. Big mistake. The bushman (John Jarrat) is a psycho of the first order.
That’s a brief synopsis, and it could have been even briefer. When it comes to storyline, things don’t get much more basic than this film. Sure, there’s all sorts of character development in the early goings, but that turns out to be a mean-spirited (and …
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