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One doesn’t usually admit they love puppets. There are many vehicles for this love all over the entertainment world. On one hand, you have those who perform standup with puppets like Jeff Dunham. Then you have those crazy puppets who live down in Fraggle Rock. But one can not forget the fairly recent invention of one Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog. A dog, sporting a cigar who likes to insult & poop on things. The idea of Triumph did not come from the Conan O’Brien show so much but instead came from the mind of Robert Smigel. Comedy Central’s TV Funhouse was that show that gave the real inspiration or birth to the character. At least I know now who to drag into the street and shoot.

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The other day, I was watching Pathology, a release from Fox that is terminally mediocre, but is surprisingly gory for what is, minor-to-nil theatrical release aside, essentially a mainstream release. I won’t rehash its silly, empty-headed plot here, other to suggest that you look to spend your entertainment dollar elsewhere. What interests me about the film is that gore. As our characters about their titular activities, corpses are opened up and messed around with in a manner that, not too long ago, would have been unthinkable outside the realm of the more extreme exploitation flicks. For quite a while, since the horror film was revived at the end of the 90s, much of the chatter about violence in the films conveniently forgot just how graphic the situation was in the 70s and 80s, but over the last few years, the gap has been bridged. But that’s not what I want to talk about here. It isn’t the quantity of gore or its explicit nature that I’m ruminating about. Rather, is it still possible to distinguish the genuine, wholesome sleaze from its production-line counterpart emerging from the major studios.

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To start with I give Spielberg credit for going against the wishes of Lucas to film this thing in digital. Not only did he attempt to reproduce the same film stock look, but he edited the film, not on a computer, but an old movieola. The attempt to make this look like the other films is obvious and appreciated. Some of the sets are simply incredible. The Akator set is massive and dressed with all kinds of detail. It conjures up images of many of Indy’s tomb-raiding past. Again you have to credit Spielberg for wanting his actors in a real place as often as he did.

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Do you believe that a numbers wizard can predict the most random of human actions with mathematical equations so accurately as to know where and when such a person will be? If so, then I suggest you put down that letter you are writing to Santa, finish eating that egg a bunny left for you, go to your pillow and pull together all of the loot you got from the tooth fairy, and plunk it down on season three of Numb3rs. No, that’s not a typo, apparently they believe that letters aren’t good enough to stand on their own,

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Retired NFL’ers want their cuts, Rockband 2 Glitches , and World of Warcraft Patches - Welcome to the column that the first step was not admitting they have a problem but deciding the problem never existed at all known as Dare to Play the Game.

Ha, well the Ike debris still exists. It’s like a fungus actually. At some point, I expect it to sprout wings and engulf my house. Somehow, I don’t think FEMA or my insurance covers such things or the deductible might be too high.

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Jim Phelps (Graves) led his team in a fourth season of Mission Impossible starting in 1969. The show continued its trademark traditions. Jim would receive a mission from the “self destructing” tape and would gather his IMF (Impossible Mission Force) team. The team was necessarily eclectic in nature, and it changed significantly in the fourth season. Still in the team we had Barney Collier, the gadget man, played by Greg Morris. The muscle was still supplied by Willy Armitage, played by brute Peter Lupus.

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I can remember when Beauty And The Beast first arrived on television. It was fall of 1987. I watched a couple episodes of this rather odd drama. Instantly I was drawn to the show’s world but was almost as quickly pushed away by the material. If I can be forgiven for saying so, I always considered this a “chick” show. That’s not intended as an insult at all. The truth is there likely isn’t nearly enough programming out there that is targeted for the female audience. This was without a doubt a series that was very much aimed at the young women viewers.

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“Come and listen to my story about a man named Jed. Poor mountaineer barely kept his family fed. Then one day he was shootin’ at some food and up from the ground comes a bubblin’ crude. Oil that is… Black Gold…Texas Tea…”

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Brothers and Sisters, we are gathered here today to extol the virtues of our moral champion, Eric Cartman. I’ve come here to praise Eric, not to bury him. It wasn’t much more than 12 years ago to this very day that we first met Eric. Certainly the presentation was a bit crude, and often the teachings were less focused and incoherent. Still, it didn’t take long before we could see an underlying message in the construction paper animation. Before too long the faithful grew, and the wisdom of Eric Cartman could no longer be stopped.

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I like Mike Myers. I think he’s really talented, and I’ve enjoyed him in films like Wayne’s World, So I Married an Axe Murderer and Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery. That’s why I didn’t want to see The Love Guru. Seeing the trailers for this latest Myers project, I had the distinct feeling it was going to be a black mark on his filmography.

What an understatement — 20 minutes into The Love Guru, I wanted to punch Mike Myers in the face.

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A group of exotic dancers head off to a resort in the hills, ostensibly to shoot a film, but instead fall into evil clutches. The torture begins for them and that point, but it began for the audience prior to the opening credits. While the monologue that begins the film hints that there might have been an idea buried somewhere in here concerning the abusive objectification of women through history, the film decides to incarnate that idea rather than critique it, and do so very clumsily at that. The makeup effects are beyond risible, and the cinematography consists primarily of headache-inducing shaky close-ups. Another nail in the coffin of the torture porn subgenre.

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The CSI phenomenon has been going strong for many years now, and CBS has ridden that wave to become the top network these past couple of years. It all started with the original CSI: Crime Scene Investigator. This Las Vegas show became an instant hit, and three years later we found ourselves in Miami for a spin-off. Two years after basking in the Florida sunshine, Jerry Bruckheimer caught lightning a third time; this time out New York would serve as the setting. While there are ties that bind the three shows to the CSI franchise, each show has a unique style.

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Just to look at it you would think that My 3 Sons was a Disney production. Its star Fred MacMurray had appeared in many Disney films of the 50’s and 60’s and is most likely recognizable from those appearances. Two of the three boys were also known for work with Disney. The eldest boy, Mike, was played by Tim Considine, who starred with MacMurray in Disney’s The Shaggy Dog. Middle son Robbie was played by a former Mickey Mouse Club Mouseketeer,

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The holiday season is coming fast. It should come as no surprise with all of the Chipmunk DVDs being released that a Holiday Collection was going to be included. Of all of the sets, this is the best. There 12 episodes in all, and each is among the best of the classic show. You get three discs, one for each of the upcoming special days: Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. There’s plenty of Chipmunk antics and some great song selections included in each disc.

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The latest issue of Rue Morgue has hit the stands, and its cover story is a celebration of the fiftieth anniversary of Famous Monsters of Filmland. Naturally, there is plenty celebrating the man behind the world’s first horror/SF magazine, Forrest J. Ackerman. Permit me, then, to take advantage of the occasion to do a little celebrating myself.

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Tough Games, GTA IV saving Windows , and Rock Band 4 Ever - Welcome to the column that took Cotton Eye Joe out back and shot him…dead known as Dare to Play the Game.

I’ve been a little busy this week. That might be a good thing, I think. Debris is still being picked up around my home. It’s going a bit slowly since I don’t have access to a truck and for the most part people in my subdivision rather keep to themselves. Shocking I know in this day and age, people are selfish even when offered money.

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“Who? Or What is the newest, most breath-taking, most sensational super-hero of all?”

That was the question asked on the cover of Marvel’s Tales Of Suspense issue number 39. Pictured with that buildup was a character quite different from the Iron Man that we would come to know and love over the next 40 plus years. He was all silver and appeared to be wearing combat boots. He was not very slender, and you could almost hear the clunking as he moved.

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The greatest game I ever bowled was probably around 180. A far cry from the perfect 300 but a decent game nevertheless. Most bowling video games are extremely simple in scope. Pick up a ball, roll it down the lane and see what pins drop. Sometimes you get to choose the curve of your ball and even the weight. But that is honestly about it. So when I saw that there was a new bowling game on Xbox Live Arcade, I didn’t think anything of it. However, once I tried the demo I realized this was something different. A game that blended bowling with miniature golf and created something kinda unique. I was so intrigued by the demo, I ended up coughing up the 800 points to make a review.

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The Dark Knight movie did big business this year and most people were quite surprised there was no official video game for the movie. Anybody who was looking for a Batman fix after the movie either paid $8 to see the movie again or tried to re-enact scenes with their best friends in their basement. However, there was a little relief to be had. The wonderful teams behind Lego Star Wars and Lego Indiana Jones decided to go to market with a Lego Batman game. But instead of focusing on the recent movies such as Batman Begins & The Dark Knight they moved their focus to the past. Their inspiration seemed to come from the first 2 Batman films with Michael Keaton and a strong dash of the awesome animated series that ran during the same time period. Would Lego’s humor and strong gameplay succeed or would the jokes go as sour as any thought of Robin in a future Batman movie (especially one with Christian Bale)?

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And now, another bit of musing on Mario Bava, brought on by a recent screening of Lisa and the Devil.

Coming in 1972, this was late in Bava’s career, and from a period when seeing his films the way he intended became very difficult. Until recently, when the original print resurfaced, this has been most commonly seen under the title The House of Exorcism, an exercise in butchery by producer Alfred Leone, which not only removed much of Bava’s footage, but replaced it with a ridiculous Exorcist rip-off. Fortunately, Bava’s original film has been restored to us. It is a prime example of that moment in European cinema where the distinction between horror film and art-house production vanished.

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Damon Runyon’s stories would most famously make it into musical form in 1955 with Guys and Dolls. But in the meantime, this 1952 effort featured many of the same sorts of characters – wise-cracking-but-harmless gangsters and their glamorous molls. Here, Numbers Foster (Scott Brady) hightails it out of town to avoid a Congressional hearing, and on the way back, he picks up country songbird Emily Ann Stackerlee (Mitzi Gaynor), much to the displeasure of New York girlfriend Yvonne (Marguerite Chapman). Heavier on plot and lighter on numbers than some other musicals of the period, this is a jovial effort, but understandably in the shadow of its more famous cousin.

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Meet the Darling family. While the name might imply an endearing group of wonderful folks, nothing could be further from the truth. They are a wealthy and powerful family. The patriarch Tripp (Sutherland) is a ruthless and conniving man very used to getting his way. His wife Letitia (Clayburgh) appears to want to be a nicer person but gets drawn into the incredible scandal and corruption of her family, while Tripp tries to shelter her from it. They have 5 kids. Brian (Fitzgerald) is a priest, but his actions are anything but priestly. He’s even hiding an illegitimate child.

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Shonda Rhimes had a big hit on her hands with Grey’s Anatomy, so after five years she did what comes naturally in her situation. You spin the success off in the hope that the fans just can’t get enough in just one night. At first it appeared to me she had chosen the wrong character to put out on her own. I mean, I never considered Kate Walsh as Addison to be one of the show’s more compelling characters. The show was presented as what the business calls an imbedded episode on Grey’s.

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