I’ve seen thousands of movies in my time and today I’m sharing the ten most important things to learn from action flicks. Jump to check it out.
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Always make sure your old buddy actually died back on that dangerous mission in the 50’s-70’s(especially if they had fancy accents). If he did somehow manage to survive he’s going to be pissed and a bit knife happy. So be sure to go back a couple days later and either give him a nice bottle of wine or just put two in his head to be sure. Also, if you have some long lost sibling you think may have died in a mysterious way, ALWAYS watch your back. Those little turds have a knack for ambushing you.
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If your on the run and need help be sure and find the hottest girl in the vicinity. It’s very key to get someone of covergirl quality. Any hot girl just wandering about will undoubtedly be very capable and very willing to help you kill a few hundred people in the next few hours. They also seem quite willing to break international law just because you seem to need their help.
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Remember if you’re in a gun fight don’t worry about physics. If you spend too much time to think you die. So go ahead jump on that cart while firing blindly. You’ll manage to kill every guy in the room. Need to bank a bullet off of a fridge? Do it, that’s like 3 guys right there.
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If you’ve spent days or even years hunting down a madman, don’t just hold him at gunpoint. It’s simple, the longer you wait to make your speech the longer amount of time he’ll have to figure out a way to get gun out of your hand. Despite always finding a way to kill him/her anyways it’s best to just shoot him/her in the face first chance you get. Make your speech later on your blog. Trust me more people might care that way.
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Plan for after the big kill. Yes all hell is breaking loose, but the truth you’re going to have to do something with your life after this. Why not take up scrapbooking? Heck, you could even become a teacher.
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Save your one liners for after the kill. If you try and do it in the act you will likely just flub your awesome line and your big chance to look awesome to yourself. Besides if you find out the line is really lame it’s best to say it when the guy is already dead and can’t make you feel embarrassed.
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Shoot the hostage, it’s the only way.
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If your sidekick is hot and of the opposite sex do her early and do her hard. They will have a 20% chance of dying by the end of your quest.
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Always carry a book of matches, a pin and a paperclip with you. Trust me you’ll need them at some point.
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You know those guys in black who have big coats on and always look like their not really doing anything? Yeah you need to watch those guys.
