“They’re not above nipping at you. Wildfires are pushing coyotes deeper into Los Angeles neighborhoods. They’re desperate. They’re going to do what they have to to survive.”
I think it started with Jaws in 1975. People were afraid to go into the water; some still are. It started with sharks, but by the end of the 1970’s it was killer bees, ants, bears … and by the turn of the century there were giant killer snakes and bears high on cocaine. The wave continues this year with Coyotes, directed by Colin Minihan. The film is at times clever, but it moves into the territory of a comic book movie by using crazy comic frames to introduce characters, and while we’re talking about sharks, this movie is jumping them in the first 10 minutes as we watch a young spoiled rich girl walking her yip-yip dog. The next thing we know she’s reeling in 15-feet of leash and a bloody foofoo collar at the end. The stage is set. It’s a bit amusing, but scared? Not this one. Instead we have CGI coyotes that look like something out of a … that’s right. Comic book.
“It’s like Birds meets Dumber And Dumber”.
We’re introduced to the rather colorful neighbors in a mountain L.A. neighborhood. In one house we have a fairly normal family that is having a few ups and downs. Justin Long plays Scott, and he’s losing his family because he can’t stop working, mostly doing inventive designs. Kate Bosworth plays his wife Liz, and in a common trend of late we have a real-life married couple playing one in a movie. They have a daughter, Chloe, who is played by Mila Harris. They live pretty well but are not as close as any of them want to be. What they need is a rather intimate bonding experience, and we’re about to whip up one heck of a bonding experience.
For flavor we have his wacky neighbor, Trip (Butz) and his houseguest, who also happens to be paid-by-the hour Julie (Allen). That meter is about to run into overtime. The area recently escaped the late fires that took a lot of these hillsides. But the coyotes are getting a bit more brazen, and they are about to get hit with a horrible storm that’s going to isolate everyone there and knock out the power. Cell phones are draining fast, and when darkness falls, they are be herded by a wild pack of really bad CGI coyotes. There’s a lot of ripping of flesh and shooting that does more damage to the area than the coyotes. With Trip and Julia, it’s everyone for themself. Can Justin figure out what they might be after and design something that might get them out alive? The answer comes in something akin to the metal tubs from The Killer Shrews. In fact, that would be the perfect companion film for this one. I’d love to see one of the few remaining drive-ins out there run a double bill. Invite me out to host, and we’ll have a hoot.
“I wish you guys could translate what just happened.”
And that’s exactly how you have to approach the film. It’s not going to compare with The Birds no matter how many times Minihan wants it to. It’s a spoof. Its a cartoon. and if you’re OK keeping things real, then you could have a good time here. If you are still thinking Jaws, you are in for a huge disappointment. I wish I could believe that Minihan actually intended this to be schlock. If he did, he nailed it. If he didn’t, then I’m worried for Coyote 2. “Are you kidding me? Coyote 2? Are you kidding?”
