“Be warned. A sequel is coming. I have a lot more to say.”
When certain stories become public domain, you just have to expect that there will be a lot of people creating their own “unique” versions of the same tale, all in the name of making a few bucks. When it comes to adaptations of Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, I think we can all agree every attempt to tell the story has not been in the name of preserving the art. What I do find surprising: despite all the attempts to bring the story to the screen, there still isn’t a version that I can say is a perfect retelling of the tale. Though each may have its pros, for the most part it just never seems to translate well. Recently del Toro put together one of the more faithful versions of the story, replete with atmosphere and wonder. You can tell he’s a fan of directors like James Whale, who brought the first two Universal classic Frankenstein films to life. In 1935 Universal released what stands out today as one of the best horror films ever made with The Bride Of Frankenstein. So I was rather looking forward to seeing this year’s entry in the complicated tale of a “monster” seeking companionship, The Bride. I think that both James Whale and Mary Shelley must be rolling in their graves asking to be brought back to curse this latest venture. Alas, they can’t. Allow me to do it for them.
The film opens with an almost ghostly image in black & white of Mary Shelley, played by Jessie Buckley. She’s ranting an almost incoherent storm of madness that appears to have some of the #metoo messages among the cuckoo. The scene transitions to a 1935 cabaret in Chicago where two couples are having drinks. Apparently the ghost of Mary Shelley possesses the girl Ida, also played by Buckley. She begins to take the baton and joins in those crazy rantings. Things get a little too frisky, and she ends up getting tossed down a set of stairs and obviously dead. At least she’s finally shut up … but not for long. I think Fred Gwynne was right in Pet Semetery when he told us: “Sometimes dead is better.”
Jump to some time later, and we meet “Frank”, the monster created by Dr. Frankenstein. He’s played by Christian Bale, who is the only saving grace of the film. He looks more like the Hammer Films monster than that of Universal. But he carries the part very well. It’s not his fault it all goes off the rails in a hurry. He seeks out a Dr. Euphronius, played by Annette Bening. He has read her work, and he believes she’s the best person out there to create the companion he has long desired. Guess whose body they dig up? That means after some throwback electrical sparks, Ida is back as The Bride, and she’s still crazy as ever. This time her memory is somewhat shattered. If only I could have experienced the same blessing with this film. She spits up some chemical that passes for reanimation blood, and it stains her face, giving her that odd look you might have caught in the trailers.
Ida wants out, and she sneaks out with Frank, and the movie goes to hell. From here it’s a collection of pieces, and unlike Dr. Frankenstein, director Maggie Gyllenhaal couldn’t bring these disjointed pieces to life. The film is more like Bonnie and Clyde or Natural Born Killers from this point as the two hit the road, leaving a path of destruction in their wake. Frank is obsessed with a Fred Astaire-like actor named Ronnie Reed, played by Maggie’s brother Jake. So we catch some of these old song-and-dance films, because they stop at theaters along the way. Often Frank imagines himself in the leading role, and things really go bad when he finally meets his idol in person. The film shifts from some awkwardly over-the-top dance routines and even tries its hand at noir with two detectives on the couple’s trail. They are Peter Sarsgaard as Detective Jake Wiles and Penelope Cruz as his girl Friday, Myna Mallow. The noir stuff here isn’t bad, but it fits horribly with the rest of the film and always feels like those moments are actually part of another movie that happens to be playing on the screen next door to yours. There’s some stuff from The Joker film, as Ida’s facial look gets imitated by women who are out to bring the male-dominated world down. They become cult heroes just like ol’ Bonnie and Clyde.
Some of you will fall in love with it because you just want something crazy different and enigmatic. It’s the “You just don’t get it” crowd that movies like this are made to draw in. The film will create a strong cult following, but it’s not going to remain in the mainstream long enough to justify the nearly $100-million budget. There is no love of the film it’s taking it’s beats from, and I honestly feel like Maggie Gyllenhaal actually despises the early Universal classics. There are some clever moments, to be sure, and some nice performances. There are plenty of Easter eggs that call out to the original film and Young Frankenstein. But unlike any of those films, this one is the experiment before Frankenstein figured it out. Would I wish to ever see it again? “I would prefer not to.”
