Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on March 26th, 2004
It’s funny how little film subgenres evolve over time. For instance, slasher flicks have become a specific part of the realm of horror films. Likewise, teen gross-out movies have evolved within the comedy genre. In the case of Lady Jayne - Killer, the subgenre is the fraternity favorite, girls with guns.
There have been quite a few films that fit into this subgenre (the wonderful La Femme Nikita and the horrid To The Limit, just to name a few), and this film follows in that same shamele...s tradition. The point of these films is to show guys everything they like; scantily-clad women, firepower, hot cars and action. They are mindless on purpose. The storylines are not as important as filling the film with as much violence and as many half-naked women as possible.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on March 22nd, 2004
Brother Bear is the story of a boy who becomes a man by becoming a bear. Kenai (Joaquin Phoenix) is a young man set on revenge against a bear he feels is responsible for his brother’s death. Going up against the beast and winning the battle, the great Spirits who guide Kenai transform him into a bear himself. As Kenai tries to undo the spell placed on him by the spirits, he meets Koda (Jeremy Suarez) a young cub who was separated from his mother. As the story unfolds Kenai becomes more find of Koda and “adopts... him, however, his main desire is to once again become human. Kenai’s journey takes himself and Koda to the salmon spawning grounds where they meet a group of other bears led by a huge black bear voiced by Michael Clarke Duncan. It is here that we learn that Koda’s mother was the bear that Kenai did battle with at the beginning of the film – he learns that Koda’s mother was attempting to protect Koda from ‘the hunters’ i.e Kenai and his brothers. Because of Kenai’s anger at the bear he attacked and as a result is the reason for Koda being without his mother. The climax of the movie comes when Kenai faces off against his remaining brother who believes that Kenai, in his bear form, is responsible for the death of Kenai and their older brother. While Kenai tries to avoid harming his brother he is torn when his brother starts going after Koda. Kenai does his best to protect Koda and at this point the spirits intervene and transform Kenai back to his human form. Kenai is finally reunited with his brothers but his joy is overcome with the responsibility that he feels for Koda and in the end makes the decision to remain as a bear and care for his brother bear.
While this sounds very serious, the comedy provided here is some of the best that Disney has offered in a long time. Now I am a huge SCTV fan so keep that in mind. The comedy relief is provided by Rutt and Tuke, a couple of moose voiced by none other than Bob and Doug themselves, Rick Moranis and Dave Thomas. How cool is that? And where else are you going to hear a line like, “How do you total a mammoth (referring to the trip that they all took on the backs of a herd of mammoths that Rutt and Tuke ‘crashed’ offscreen)?”
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on March 22nd, 2004
Deadly Little Secrets has a secret. Shhhhhh. It’s a direct to DVD feature. So the only way you can see it is by renting it. Should you? I dunno. It’s a B movie with a B movie plot, but with pretty good technical components.
The plot starts off with a murder, and the brother (of course) has to get to the bottom of it. Craig Sheffer plays the brother, and he’s bland in a beefcake main character sort of way. There’s a really bad doctor (Dylan Walsh) who is injecting football players with letha... steroid overdoses. Walsh doesn’t really do anything special in the role. The women are the real highlights. Dina Meyer, who is excellent in Starship Troopers (among other things), plays Sheffer’s girlfriend, and Michelle Hicks plays Meyer’s vampish “sister”. The “sisters” like each other a bit too much…if you catch my drift. The relationship seems right out of a Mike Hammer novel. Garry Chalk also comes along for the low budget ride in another cop role.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on March 20th, 2004
A couple of years ago, my wife and I found ourselves watching an episode of The Lizzie McGuire Show on a lazy Saturday morning, when nothing else was on. While we are certainly not the target market, we were both pleased to find that the half-hour was genuinely entertaining. Saturday mornings are a perfect time to watch this show, as it is mildly humorous, yet still benign enough that you don’t really have to get your brain working to enjoy it. It has since become a fairly-regular part of our weekend routine.< ...p>
This disc features four episodes with that ever popular sitcom convention; the guest star. The stars in question here are the unbelievably arrogant Aaron Carter, surprisingly funny Frankie Muniz, rock god Steven Tyler, and Raymond’s own Doris Roberts. Once viewers get past the horrible Aaron Carter episode, the remaining segments (including a bonus featuring Erik Estrada) are the same kind of entertaining family faire that viewers have come to identify with Lizzie.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on March 19th, 2004
The biggest compliment that I can pay to this film is that I have seen worse. The acting is bad, but not painful. The plot is sub-par, but not entirely horrible. The dialog is forced, but not filled with bad teenage slang. Yes, this is a horrible film, but I have seen worse.
Truth be told, The Brotherhood III is more like an excruciatingly long short film. The main emotion that I felt as I moved through this disc was… boredom. Huge segments of the film are simply without dialog or action of any kind....The first half-hour of this 83-minute film contains a total of seven minutes of dialog. The remaining 23 minutes are filled with slow motion shots of a single character walking down a hallway. Sometimes, this character is followed by the killer, sometimes they are not.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on March 17th, 2004
Back in the day, the Looney Tunes were irreverent, violent, and created with an adult audience in mind (much like South Park is today). Somewhere along the line, however, values changed, and they became standard kids faire. Now, that’s not to say that there wasn’t still plenty in there for adults to enjoy as well, but they just didn’t carry with them the same humorous social commentaries that were prevalent in the days of old.
Well, the Tunes are back! The appropriately-titled Looney Tunes - Back ...n Action is a breath of fresh air for parents who have tired of taking their children to standard animated Saturday matinees. This is a live action/animation hybrid film, in the same vein as the classic Who Framed Roger Rabbit?. A lot has changed since those days, however. The live action and animation blends seamlessly throughout this film, with virtually none of the awkward line-of-sight errors that were so prevalent in earlier attempts to marry the two formats.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on March 17th, 2004
Let’s get one thing straight right off the bat… this is a title intended for viewing by small children. Very small children. As a result, all of my usual judging criteria (picture quality, sound quality, character development) are pretty much unimportant. The target audience for this title has trouble forming words, so I am willing to bet that the more subtle nuances of the narrative will be lost on them. Nevertheless, I will continue on as best as I can.
If you are still reading this, you are most likely a...parent, or will soon become one. Personally, I don’t have children. Having said that up front, I feel that this is a tremendous title that would prove to be invaluable in the task of teaching young minds to recognize colors, shapes, and even words. The content is presented in a way that would be interesting to children, with a nice mix of bright colors, moving images, animation and live action. Vocal narration is virtually nonexistent, as the people at Baby Einstein allow the images to speak for themselves.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on March 16th, 2004
If you were one of the few of people who were waiting with bated breath for a sequel to the low-budget laugher, The Circuit, well thank your lucky stars because the day has finally come. If you sense sarcasm, you are right, because The Circuit 2 is even more of a stink-fest than the original, which is a feat in and of its self.
When we last left Dirk Longstreet (Olivier Gruner), he was recovering from infiltrating an underground fighting circuit to save his brother who had become wrapped up i... it. Now, Dirk is about to propose to his reporter girlfriend, Nicole (Gail Harris), who is once again trying to uncover an illegal-fighting ring, this time in the local state prison. As she is researching the story she is brutally attacked and left for dead. Dirk isn’t too happy about this and becomes an undercover inmate in the prison to learn more about the attackers. This time another reporter friend aids him, played by Lorenzo Lamas.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on March 16th, 2004
The Frightening, as the DVD cover says, is “a new class of horror”. This play on words foreshadows the premise of the movie. There’s a “new kid” at Hallows End High School. His name is Corey (Matt Twining), and he’s having a few problems “adjusting”. Corey has a “past”. But that’s not the “real” problem of this school. Okay…I’ll stop using quotation marks. The major problem at Hallows End High School, nicknamed “Halloween High” (sorry…I couldn’t stop), is that the corpses are piling up. Someone…or som... thing…or some group of things….is killing the students. Who or what is behind these murders? Why are students being killed? It’s just one spoiler note away, or you can just rent the movie.
The Frightening is direct to DVD horror cheese. It’s laughable and not to be taken seriously. The deaths aren’t realistic, as every corpse-to-be (no matter how they die) seems to spurt fake looking blood from their mouths. The acting is mediocre at best, even though Matt Twining has a natural Ryan Phillippe pouty quality. And I guess…a nice bod? This is why (I gather) there are many scenes of Twining, among other male cast members, walking around in nothing else but boxer briefs. The writer, Matthew David Walsh, pulls out elements from a lot of horror movies like The Shining to downright ripping off The Sixth Sense.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on March 16th, 2004
Film
Ah, Baltimore. The Inner Harbor, Camden Yards, Preakness, corrupt government officials, devastating crime rate, as well as a nasty STD epidemic to boot. You gotta love my hometown. But what Baltimore has in negative traits, it makes up for it with creativity. If you have caught HBO’s The Corner or The Wire, you see that Baltimore’s issues can make for captivating television. While Little Red isn’t on the level of these excellent shows, it does have a certain level of amateur charm ...hat makes up for what it lacks.
