Posted in: Disc Reviews by David Annandale on June 2nd, 2004
Synopsis
Tony Danza packs up daughter Alyssa Milano and leaves New York to become thehousekeeper in the suburban home of executive Judith Light. Living with her are smart-alec kidDanny Pintauro and sexually aggressive mother Katherine Helmond. Sparks (or something)ensue between Danza and Light.
Oh, the humanity! Did ever a series more perfectly embody the American sitcom at its mostmind-destroyingly mediocre? The jokes are only recognizable as such because of the strainedl...
Posted in: Disc Reviews by David Annandale on May 31st, 2004
Synopsis
Con man Alex McArthur joins up with brutal thug Coolio and computer genius DanielBaldwin in one of those “can’t miss” schemes: kidnap actress Jenya Lano and force her to havesex in a pay-per-view Internet session. The kidnapping goes well, but frictions between the triothreaten the alliance, and all is not as it appears.
Easily one of the more tasteless premises for a thriller in recent years, and the film showslittle awareness of its own sleaziness. But then, the p...
Posted in: Disc Reviews by David Annandale on May 31st, 2004
Synopsis
Marlon Brando plays a German pacifist who fled his country at the outbreak of the WWII,and is living in comfortable seclusion in India. The British authorities blackmail him into takinga mission. Assuming the identity of an SS officer, he must board a blockade runner (captainedby Yul Brynner) and disarm its scuttling charges so it can be captured by the Allies. Needlessto say, nothing works out quite as it should.
Even running over two hours, this is a taut thriller...
Posted in: Disc Reviews by David Annandale on May 30th, 2004
Synopsis
Ken Hebert (lead actor and film’s producer) invites three friends out to his cabin in thewoods. Oddly, these friends are either people he hasn’t seen in years, or barely knows. Along theway, they pick up another young woman who’s been having some hitch-hiking problems. Thatnight, the stranger tells a gruesome story about a killer clown. And wouldn’t you know it? Oneby one, the cast starts being killed by that very figure.
It’s amateur hour, folks. Looks like a bunch...
Posted in: Disc Reviews by David Annandale on May 30th, 2004
Synopsis
In 1932, in Carson County, West Virginia (or, as the name appears on the screen, “WestVirGINA”), a farmer kills his wife and hangs her up as a scarecrow. Cut to the present, and adistant descendant inherits the cursed property. He and the usual gaggle of teenaged friends headout for the farm, after some wandering around and skinning dipping, are set upon by a demonicscarecrow with glowing eyes.
The film follows the stereotypical slasher plot in perfect lock-step, wi...
Posted in: Disc Reviews by David Annandale on May 30th, 2004
Synopsis
Michael Keaton is a straight-arrow banker arriving in Nice to investigate some dubiousfinancial dealings at a film studio. The production is, in fact, a total scam, a front for whiteslavery operations run by the Russian mob. Keaton pokes his nose in where it isn’t wanted,refuses a bribe, and is promptly set up as the fall guy when a crooked police chief (on the outswith the Russians) is assassinated. On the run, Keaton must prove his innocence and take downthe mob. Also mix...
Posted in: Disc Reviews by David Annandale on May 29th, 2004
Synopsis
The most notable aspect of the evergreen series’ sixth season was the replacement of LarryLinville’s Frank Burns with David Ogden Stiers’ Winchester. The transition happens over thecourse of a double-length season opener, with Burns’ misadventures and ultimate reassignmenthappening off-screen, while Winchester arrives to be, so the poor sap thinks, a temporaryreplacement. Still plenty of strong writing, and jabs of deadly seriousness permeating through thecomedy.
...
Posted in: Disc Reviews by David Annandale on May 29th, 2004
Synopsis
Kate Beckinsale plays an art restorer. While working on her current commission, shediscovers a previously hidden inscription, which points to a murder conspiracy 500 years ago. Asshe tries to solve the mystery, whose key lies in the paintings depiction of a chess game, peoplearound her, connected in one way or another to the painting, begin to die. Is the past reaching outto wreak vengeance on the present? And who is the Black Queen?
I won’t tell you, except to say ...
Posted in: Disc Reviews by David Annandale on May 27th, 2004
Synopsis
Justin Urich is a disaffected high school student. He is unable to stomach dissection inbiology class (despite his love of horror movies), and he is perpetually tormented by the martinetgym instructor (Thomas Haden Church). When, in a counselling course, he declares that hewants to be a serial killer, he attracts the attention of goth chick Lisa Loeb. She will help himlearn what he needs to know to become a serial killer, on the condition that she be his firstvictim. Urich’...
Posted in: Disc Reviews by David Annandale on May 26th, 2004
Synopsis
Jeff Bridges plays the black sheep of an aristocratic Southern family. Shiftless and callow,he is involved in a shady real-estate deal headed up by Joe Spinell (ex of The Godfather,later to gain notoriety as the title character in Maniac). In order to complete the deal,Bridges has to buy out a fitness club, populated by such characters as gym instructor Sally Field,would-be Mr. Universe Arnold Schwarzenegger (now there’s casting against type) and hishappy-go-l...
