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Madea's been everywhere. She's even been to jail. But I Can Do Bad All By Myself is not actually a Madea film, per se. She has a cameo, of sorts, but this film is based on a series of stage acts that Perry has collected under the single title of the film. So much of this movie has been out there on stage. I'm not really a fan of Perry's Madea character and the collection of films she/he's been involved in. I had a friend once who used to get them for another friend of his, and he used to joke about making me a copy. Now you know why we're not friends any more. But this film is very different from anything you've seen from the Madea character, or honestly out of any of Tyler Perry's previous film projects.

When the film begins, it looks like it's going to be another haphazard Madea adventure. She's asleep in her bed when she hears a crashing sound downstairs. Someone done broke into Madea's house. You're already starting to feel sorry for the crooks. That is, until we find out they are three young children. Apparently their parents are dead, and they've been living with their grandma, but she's been AWOL for over four days. Madea does the only thing she can. She feeds the kids, much to the discontent of Perry's other alter ego, her husband Joe. "You feed them and they keep comin' back," he warns. Once she's heard their heartwarming tale, she takes them to their Aunt April (Henson). April is working as a singer at a local nightclub but is ruining her own life on booze and an abusive relationship. Madea comes knockin' while she's trying to sleep and lays the bad news on the wannabe star. April's got no room in her life for three kids, and on top of that, her church has sent over a homeless Mexican named Sandino (Rodriguez) who needs a place to stay and can pay by doing jobs around the house. We all know from the beginning that grandma’s not coming back, so I'm not really spoiling anything for you there. April will be faced with making some changes in her life, both for the kids and for herself. It's through music and faith, and a little help from Sandino, that she manages to open her heart to her new family.

Metaphors are often effective tools in filmmaking. They can be used in a variety of unique and clever ways to either highlight a particular aspect of story and/or character. They can be used to add an artistic flourish to a movie. They can even be used to drive a plot, if you're careful enough to avoid becoming too abstract. Then there are films like The Burning Plain which attempt to create a film that is metaphor itself. What you often end up with, and certainly here, is something difficult to follow and more acceptable at the festival circuit than at the box office. The movie performed abysmally at the box, and that is in spite of some rather glowing reviews. The general public is never going to “get” a film like this. Honestly, I'm not sure that I even understood it. What I do know is that whatever level of understanding or entertainment I might have gotten here, I had to work too hard to get it. There's a simple equation of investment of resources and return that this film just simply fails to deliver. And if they think I'm harsh, wait until they try to sell it to the average viewer. Most people have less patience than I when it comes to movies, but director and writer Guillermo Arriaga demands far more than I was willing to give. And evidenced by the mere 200 grand at the limited run box office, it was more than most of you were willing to give as well.

The story is told from a perspective of several places and times. We learn that Gina (Basinger) and Nick (deAlmeida) were having an affair. Both had families. They used to rendezvous at a trailer out in the middle of an isolated plain. They are killed in a horrible fire and explosion that burned so hot, we are told, that their bodies melted together and had to be cut apart with a knife. In the aftermath, their families develop a severe hatred for each other, each blaming the other for taking away their parent. But in traditional Romeo and Juliet fashion, two of the children, one from each side, fall in love. The identity of these two and the things that they did would be spoilers here. Suffice it to say that you should spend some time attempting to pick up on the details and nuances here. Another story involves Santiago (Pino) who now lives in Mexico with his young daughter. He owns a crop dusting business. Of course, flying small planes can be a dangerous business. Actually flying is very safe. Crashing, on the other hand can be dangerous. When he is injured, a friend helps his daughter track down the girl's mother, Sylvia (Theron), now living in Oregon running a restaurant. Of course, we know that these stories all have common threads and even common characters.

The original movie production of Fame came out in 1980 and followed a group of students as they progressed four years through the New York High School of Performing Arts. It was gritty, it was harsh, but it was a very deep portrayal of budding students trying to get into the world of singing, dancing and acting. Nearly 30 years later, somebody gets the bright idea of doing a remake. Let’s find out if it is anywhere close to the original.

It is another year at PA or the New York High School of Performing Arts, there is a brand new crop of students trying their best to get into this elite school. The teachers are professionals at figuring out who has talent and who doesn’t. Teachers like Mrs. Fran Rowan (played by Megan Mullally) who works on vocals, Ms. Lynn Kraft (played by Bebe Neuwrith) on dance, Mr. Alvin Dowd (played by Charles S. Dutton) as drama coach and Mr. Joel Cranston (played by Kelsey Grammer) who takes on music.

"Look at yourselves. Unplug from your chairs, get up and look in a mirror. What you see is how God made you. We're not meant to experience the world through a machine."

Since the time we were kids, we were warned that you can't tell a book by its cover. That has never been more true in our modern world of the internet. We play in chat rooms where almost no one is who they pretend to be. We lie about our age, looks, and even our gender, and rationalize it as harmless escapism or merely exaggeration. Everyone does it, or so we believe, so it's actually expected. Police officers often pose as innocent young children to lure pedophiles out of their dark lairs and into a new dark lair, this one with bars and armed guards. So, I guess it's not that large of a leap into the world of Surrogates. Now you can order an entire working body to look like anything you want. You sit in a comfortable pod and live through this artificial skin. You can't feel pain. You can't catch a disease. You can't die ... or, again, so you would very much like to believe. If we can't change the book, we can now at least change the cover.

"Let me know when the Governor gets here."

Well, he's in the house, and I'm going to get a lot of razzing for this review of Last Action Hero. The person who thought I should see a shrink for looking forward to the next Saw film is going to be calling for my outright commitment to an institution dedicated to covering walls with nice padding so we won't hurt ourselves. I know this film is generally considered "bad" by critics and moviegoers alike. It swept the Razzies in 1993 and has since been only the kind of film 10 year olds would really like to see. Me, I've always simply loved this film. From the first time I saw it at the box office, I was hooked. It was one of the first new laserdiscs I bought back in the day, and I watched the heck out of that disc. I'm not ashamed to admit it. I love this movie.

Sylvester Stallone returned to his roots with 1993's Cliffhanger. No, I'm not talking about his iconic Rocky role here. I'm talking about his ancestral roots. The movie was filmed high in the Italian Alps to achieve many of these incredible vistas and the snow capped mountains. Believe it or not, this was June at the location, and several of the crew were stranded for a time because of a sudden and powerful blizzard.

However, it wasn't really the location along with its harsh weather conditions that caused this film the most trouble. The script was plagued from the beginning with several drafts and many writers. There were so many hands in the stew that lawsuits went on for some time afterwards, leading to several writers getting a paycheck they otherwise weren't getting. I've heard that as many as 12 people had a pass at the script in some form or another. Actor Christopher Walken was set to play the bad guy in the film but left the production just before shooting began. You will also notice that the film is dedicated to Wolfgang Gullich. Gullich was one of the best stunt climbers in the business. He did a lot of those climbs where you see a character without a harness or safety line. He managed to achieve all of this quite safely, only to be killed in an automobile accident in August of 1992, almost a year before the film actually opened. Finally, the film was forced to acknowledge that the harness which is seen to malfunction in the film’s opening scene was rigged to fail and that the actual harness was quite safe. All in all it was a troubled film from start to finish. It did get a lot of hype from Sony and went on to bring in a respectable $85 million at the domestic box office, but it was a much larger hit overseas pulling in almost $200 million. It's still considered much more of a hit in Europe than it has ever been in America.

It's about time that The Simpsons has made it to Blu-ray and high definition. There's plenty of room on the couch as we welcome Homer, Bart, Marge, Maggie, and the whole town of Springfield to the brighter, more detailed world of high definition. You might be asking yourself: Why should we spend extra bucks to watch a simple cartoon on Blu-ray? That's a good question. The simple answer is that you just should. The longer answer follows.

The longest running show in prime time doesn’t feature cops, doctors, or lawyers. It’s hard to believe that The Simpsons have existed as long as the Fox network. While the series didn’t really begin until Fox’s second year, the characters were part of The Tracey Ullman Show, which did start the first year of Fox. Who could have guessed that an animated short from an otherwise horrible and doomed variety show would explode into such a phenomenon? The Simpsons have not only dominated the pop culture; they have placed everything else into context with their show. Like Doonesbury, it could be said that the only thing worse than being made fun of on The Simpsons is not being made fun of on The Simpsons. With that said, you’ll understand my warm feelings and appreciation for this show.

"Nature did not intend for you to survive out here. But here you are, and here I am to teach you how not to die..."

Whiteout has taken about as long and hard a road getting made as the characters in the film find themselves on stuck in the Antarctic. It began life as a crude graphic novel written by Greg Rucka and drawn by Steve Lieber. It developed a rather loyal cult following and was conceived as a film at around 2002. At one point it was intended as the launching point for a franchise featuring the federal marshal played by Kate Beckinsale. She might have been producer Joel Silver's first choice to play the character, as he has been heard to say. But the part was originally created for Reese Witherspoon. There were countless troubles developing a script, and studio support came and went throughout the period. Even when the film was ready to go with a street date, some troubles caused the release itself to delay its opening. Usually all of these development troubles spell disaster for a film in the end. Whiteout is no exception to that steadfast rule. The film scored a disastrous $10 million at the box and only $1 million foreign on a $35 million budget, and disappeared faster than your footprints in an Arctic blizzard.

"Fighting soldiers from the sky. Fearless men who jump and die. Men who mean just what they say, the brave men of the Green Beret. Silver wings upon their chest. These are men, America's best. One hundred men will test today. But only three win the Green Beret."

The Ballad Of The Green Beret has become one of America's most famous marching songs. It has been heavily parodied. The words were written by Staff Sergeant Barry Sadler while he was in the hospital recuperating from a leg wound he received in Vietnam. The music was composed by Robin Moore, who went on to pen the book The Green Berets, on which this film was based.

"Have you ever felt like you were a little bit different. Like you had something unique to offer to the world, if only you could just get people to see it? Then you know exactly how it felt to be me."

The title is taken from a very short children's book written by Judi and Ron Barrett. I say the title and not the story because this movie takes only the most basic concept from the book to create the movie. Most of the characters are brand new creations, and the plot of the entire film deals with events not covered in the book. You have to credit Phil Lord and Chris Miller for pretty much everything you see happen in this film. I have only a passing familiarity with the kiddie book, but have now had the chance to see the movie in this Blu-ray high definition release.