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The best thing about Gone in 60 Seconds is that the film knows exactly what it is. Just take a look at the breathless blurbs on the Blu-ray case for the latest release. “Over 500 crashes!” “93 cars wrecked in the 40-minute car chase!” No one involved with this movie thought they were making an intimate character piece. I mean the top-billed star is “Eleanor.” Did I mention that Eleanor is a 1973 Ford Mustang?

The plot is little more than a necessary nuisance before the movie’s show-stopping climax, but here we go anyway. Maindrian Pace (what a name!) is an insurance investigator who moonlights as the leader of a car thieving ring. Since Pace is the hero of our story, he only steals cars from people who are insured and subsequently compensated for the trouble he’s caused them.

“A dragon. A dragon. You bet we saw a dragon. So big and brave he came to save a village in distress. He kept the ship from crashing when he heard the SOS. He faced a group of villains and he fought them with success…”

When Walt Disney Studios released Mary Poppins, the entertainment world was turned on its ears. The integration of live action footage with animation had never been done with such success before. The studio that nearly singlehandedly perfected modern methods of animation was also the studio that learned how to combine it almost seamlessly with real breathing actors. With the release of Pete’s Dragon many years later, audiences couldn’t wait for a peek at how far Disney had perfected the process in those years. While as children we got a big kick out of Pete’s Dragon, anyone looking for the latest in integration technology was in for a dragon-sized disappointment. The creature effects bore no resemblance whatsoever to that earlier technique. The animation itself was crude, by Disney standards at least, and never, not for a second, appeared as if it existed in the same place as the rest of the film. The beast’s green color would fluctuate in hue as well as brightness. There were many obvious mismatches where the two media connected. Even many of the actors’ sightlines were far off the mark. Walt Disney Studios took several steps backwards with the 1977 release of Pete’s Dragon.

Dr. Temperance Brennan, or Bones (Deschanel) is the world's leading bone specialist. She works in Washington, D.C. for the famous Jeffersonian (I assume it's intended to be the Smithsonian). Her talents have proven themselves very helpful in solving crimes where skeletal remains are all that there is to go on from the victim. Her FBI agent/liaison is Seeley Booth (Boreanaz). Together they have an uneasy relationship that grows into a kind of friendship. The problem is that Bones doesn't have a ton of social skills. She relies on Booth to guide their social interactions. More on that later. The lab is run by Dr. Camille Saroyan (Taylor) who has become a bit of a guiding mother to the team. Dr. Hodges (Thyne) is the trace-elements expert and tries very hard to be cool and hip. He's generally the opposite of Bones. He says pretty much what comes into his head and is a bit of a science-fiction geek. Angela (Conlin) is an artist who uses her skills to reconstruct facial details from the skulls. She also works on enhancing images and restructuring evidence. She's a bit of a romantic and has probably slept with every male in the lab. But Angela and Hodges are now married with a son. Dr. Sweets (Daley) is a young FBI agent and psychologist. He profiles victims and suspects as well as serves as a counselor to the team. He's a bit over-eager at times, looking up to Booth as a mentor of sorts. The lab also has a few interns who show up from week to week, likely depending on actor availability.

The problems I have with the show deal mostly with character development. None of these characters have grown much in six years. I jumped from season 1 to season 5, and with the exception of some changes in cast, it was like I never left. The characters spend way too much time talking about their sexual prowess, with more than one character making multiple references to how exceptional they are in bed. The relationships too often take as much time as the cases themselves. This shorts the plot development and often leads the show toward the obvious. And the worst problem is the Bones character herself. She's not likeable at all. She's arrogant to a fault. She always talks about being the best and how she's the natural hero role model for others. But her scientific brain is to the point of cruelty. She has to have non-emotional explanations for everything. She insults with impunity. They also stretch the idea that this highly educated woman doesn't know any slang or figures of speech. She's always misquoting a popular saying as if she were just learning English. It's too contrived, and the writers reach pretty far for each of those "jokes". Gone now is the sexual tension between Booth and Brennan. Now they are openly together and expecting a little one.

“Patterns are hidden in plain sight. You just have to know where to look.”

You don’t have to be into numbers to enjoy Touch, but it certainly helps. Numerology deals with the mystical or divine meaning behind certain numbers. Detractors believe that people who place too much faith in such things will foolishly find significance in just about anything. Similarly, cynical TV viewers will scoff at some of the coincidences and connections in this Fox drama. Either way, it looks like your high school math teacher was right: you WILL be using some of this stuff as an adult.

"Long story short, I want to reshape my navel, and allowance won't cover it."

Long story short is precisely the words I would use to describe Excision. You see, it started out as a short subject film and writer/director Richard Bates, Jr. decided to make it his first feature film. That was his first mistake. While I have never seen the short film that inspired this feature, I get the strong feeling that this was better served in that format.

"I'm so proud of my boys. They never forget their Momma."

What did you do for your mother the last Mother's Day? Did you buy her some flowers and candy? Perhaps you took her out for a little adventure. You might have even cooked her a special meal. If you're like Ike (Coffin) and his brothers, you treat your mom to a show. You torture, rape, and kill a few women who happen to find themselves in the woods. Good times, right?

“When is everything gonna get back to normal?”

Is a happy, well-adjusted Don Draper a good thing? That’s one of the biggest questions posed during Mad Men’s excellent fifth season, and it’s aimed at the other characters in the show as well as a passionate TV audience that has become seriously invested in Jon Hamm’s suave antihero.

Some bands stand the test of time. Rolling Stones, Beatles, Bon Jovi, Village People, errrr, okay let’s continue. Another of those bands is Queen who some experts have estimated that the band has sold over two hundred million records. Their most famous lead singer is of course the legendary Freddie Mercury. But Freddie Mercury was such a unique personality that he was not always interested in making music with Queen. He had many other interests and this documentary we have today explores them.

At the Rio festival in January of 1985, Freddie Mercury decided to perform in front of 350,000 people in a pink sweater and fake breasts. The next day, he is interviewing with David Wigg in suspenders and a seemingly normal t-shirt. When asked about whether or not he was intimidated by the size of the crowd he preformed at. He simply smiles and says that bigger is better in everything. The Emperor of Rock has found some new clothes.

“What cannot be disputed is your imagination is the inspiration of a horrendous crime.”

The Raven may not be a turkey, but it doesn’t really soar either. Director James McTeigue (V for Vendetta) attempts to fashion a historical fiction around the mysterious final five days of Edgar Allen Poe’s life. A notorious drunk and opium addict, Poe (John Cusack) careens through 19th century Baltimore dead broke, bitter from years of writer’s block, and harassed by the locals for being a blustering has-been. Due to a distinct lack of social sympathy, he can’t even borrow money for a single drink, which forces him into an involuntary sobriety. At the same time, a rash of murders inspired from the pages of his darkest fiction terrorize the city, and he is called in by Detective Fields (Luke Evans) to assist in the investigation.

"In space no one can hear you scream."

It was the tagline that brought us by the droves into our neighborhood cinemas in 1979 to see one of Ridley Scott's two classic science fiction adventures. Alien was one of the scariest science fiction films we've ever seen. It wasn't just the wonderfully organic H.R. Giger designs that had us on the edge of our seats. Scott delivered a claustrophobic nightmare that caged us with this remarkable killing machine. Much the same feeling I had recently trapped in a minivan with a large spider on the prowl. It was an instant classic and holds up just as well today. It was, of course, followed by one worthy sequel and another two that I choose to pretend never happened. More recently, the franchise was paired with the Predator universe for another two films, the second of which was actually a pretty good film. Still it has been with bated breath that many of us were waiting for Ridley Scott to return to these classic roots and scare us all over again. The result of that 30 + year wait is Prometheus.