Posted in: Disc Reviews by David Annandale on December 23rd, 2009
Tycoon Tom Arnold sends employee and all-signs-point-to-being-future-son-in-law David O'Donnell and daughter Sarah Thompson (a ghastly person who is clearly Ms Wrong) to O'Donnell's home town in order to seal a real estate development deal. There O'Donnell comes up against former flame Nicole Eggert, who is fighting to preserve the town's pristine self. And yes, all of this is happening over the Christmas holiday, though it could just as well be the Fourth of July. At any rate, based on this setup, if there is a single one among you who can't anticipate every single turn of the story, allow me to be among the first to welcome you to the planet Earth.
Let's face it, though everybody and his monkey's uncle seems to have a Christmas movie up a sleeve, the form is actually murderously hard to do well. Think about it: how many really good Christmas movies are there out there? It's a Wonderful Life (1946). The 1951 version of A Christmas Carol. Director Bob Clark has given us two, though I can understand why most people prefer his A Christmas Story (1983) at this time of the year to Black Christmas (1974). Since A Christmas Story, I would argue that we have had precisely one new classic, and that is Elf (2003). All of which is to say that A Christmas Proposal is not a classic. It has all the life, zing and comedic timing of a dead fish. The closest it comes to having a glimmer of life is when Tom Arnold is (briefly) on the screen, and when your high point would be considered the low point in just about any other movie, you are in serious trouble.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by David Annandale on December 23rd, 2009
Eight-year-old Buddy (T. J. Lowther) likes living in the Alabama countryside with cousing Sook (Julie Harris in a tiny role), but circumstances dictate that he go to New Orleans for Christmas, there to stay with the father he has never seen (Henry Winkler). Old dad is, it turns out, a con artist with an inflated sense of self-importance, currently wooing Swoozie Kurtz, whose mother (Katharine Hepburn) recognizes Winkler for what he is. This being a Christmas movie, hard lessons and redemption will be called for.
At this festive season of the year, studios rummage through their vaults for those films that no one would want to watch at any other time of the year, but will happily do so when even the merest hint of sentiment and the word “Christmas” will apparently be enough to fill us with the warm glow of nostalgia and good cheer. In the movie's defense, it has a more interesting base than most such bargain releases – a Truman Capote story – but it is still a blandly executed made-for-TV pic with some good-looking production and costume design. Lowther, meanwhile, is simply too cold a fish to warm up to as Buddy, and Winkler's performance is both mannered and flat. You're going to have to be pretty undemanding to make it through this one.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by David Annandale on December 23rd, 2009
Kate Frazier (Kelly Macdonald) has fled her abusive husband and begun a new, solitary life for herself in Chicago, where she fends off the romantic interest of a number of men, and the curiosity of a great many people who all want to know how she received her black eye. One night, leaving the office, she sees a man about to jump from a building roof, and her scream startles him, breaking his suicidal trance. The man is Frank Logan (Michael Keaton), a contract killer. No longer interested in killing himself, he tracks down Kate, initially intending to kill her, since (though she doesn't realize this), she saw him moments after a hit. He collapses with pneumonia before he can carry out his plan, and she helps him to the hospital, whereupon a most unlikely relationship begins to bloom between two wounded people.
Since a bit chunk of this film takes place around Christmas, why don't we count it among the Christmas films I'm reviewing just now (the other two being A Christmas Proposal and One Christmas, since nothing says Christmas quite like a suicidal hit man. The thing is, this is far and away the best of the three movies in question. Keaton is compelling as a man who finds great difficulty in expressing emotions, and yet the strength of the those emotions are visible in every movement of his eyes, every micro-tremor of his face. In shaping the performance, he is enormously helped by the director, who is none other than Keaton himself, making his directorial debut. He and DP Chris Seager have crafted a film that is strikingly beautiful without being showy, understated yet very powerful. Here's hoping Keaton does more work behind the camera very soon.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Michael Durr on December 21st, 2009
Here is an interesting fact for those reading this review. I don’t drink alcohol. In fact, the only time I’ve actually drank anything alcoholic is when somebody else spiked my drink (usually some kind of juice). So imagine my surprise when I receive a copy of a show based on alcoholic drinks to review. However, it might not be so bad when I realize it is in the style of all those “Travel to Destination A, show me all of the cool stuff that goes on there while making funny anecdotes” ones on the Travel Network that I actually enjoy.
Zane Lamprey is a comedian who has done a lot of reality shows. At first he hosted a few of those Girls Gone Wild specials and was in five episodes of Damage Control. He also landed a spot on the Food Network with the show Have Fork, Will Travel that unfortunately only lasted a season of thirteen episodes. But his most famous show to date has been Three Sheets.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by William O'Donnell on December 20th, 2009
Two couples looking to cut loose at a biker rally blindly say “yes” to every proposal a pair of untrustworthy and visibly dangerous strangers make until they find themselves in a psychotic game where the women are abducted and their husbands must become killers in order to save them.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by David Annandale on December 20th, 2009
Host Tom Cavanaugh takes us for a tour of the some of the lesser known or rarely seen corners and byways of the Smithsonian Institution. The tone is breezy and mildly irreverent, and the exhibits encountered are unfailingly interesting. The episodes this season are “Let's Eat!”, “Top Secret,” “Nature's Vault,” “Crystal Ball,” “Going, Going, Gone,” “Sex 101” and “Villains and Rogues.” The episodes are actually even less specific than the titles might suggest (and they already grant a fair bit of freedom to jump from topic to topic). Thus, “Villains and Rogues” looks at a couple of, well, rogues, and then having Cavanaugh refer to them as snakes is enough of a segue for the episode to suddenly shift its attention to – you guessed it – actual snakes.
Neat as many of the topics are, the sheer range of items covered in a single episode does tend to rob the show of focus. And I'm of two minds about Cavanaugh's hosting. Young viewers will likely enjoy the horsing around, but older ones might well find the steady stream of one-liners a bit grating. Still, if there isn't something here to make you sit up and say, “I never knew that!” then you haven't been paying attention.
Posted in: No Huddle Reviews by David Annandale on December 19th, 2009
Lo these many Christmases ago, I received a wonderful book by Peter Dickinson called The Flight of Dragons. Gorgeously illustrated by Wayne Anderson, the book's simple yet rigorously pursued conceit is the idea that dragons really existed. Dickinson sets out to show just how this could be, how they flew, how the fire breathing worked, and why there is no fossil record of their existence. In other words, Dickinson takes a hard SF approach to high fantasy, and the result is magical. Now, as part of its Archive Collection, Warner has resurrected a 1982 Rankin-Bass animated adaptation of the book.
Dickinson's book doesn't have a plot, as such. It is, after all, a piece of mock-scholarship. So film's approach is to set a story in a world based on the one imagined by Dickinson. Dragons are still commonplace, but in the struggle between magic and logic, magic is losing. Fearing that it will die out completely (and thus do terrible damage to the world), Green Wizard Carolinus (voiced by Harry Morgan) along with his Yellow and Blue counterparts, plans to create the magical equivalent of a wildlife preserve, sealed off from the rest of the world. Standing in the way is evil Red Wizard Ommadon (James Earl Jones), whose magic remains powerful thanks to humanity's sins. Ommadon must be defeated, but since the wizards are forbidden by Antiquity (the deity who runs the joint, who manifests as a talking tree not at all unlike the burning bush in The Ten Commandments) from taking direct action, humans must be recruited to perform a quest. The leader, Antiquity decrees, will be found in the future, and turns out to be none other than Dickinson himself (John Ritter), who, transported back in time, is tickled pink to discover that everything he has been dreaming and writing about is real.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on December 15th, 2009
"For years, we've been putting a secret into the heart of every member of the Saberling Family. Be it the cryogenic refrigerator or the microwave heated coffee maker. A Secret which is at the core of any successful family: Communication."
When director Hoyt Yeatman's son Hoyt, Junior, got a pet guinea pig, he began to put soldier-like gear on the unfortunate animal and imagine stories that the rodent was part of a secret spy ring. He would imagine all kinds of missions for the little guy. Thus was born the idea for G Force. Yeatman took the idea to Jerry Bruckheimer, who in turn shopped the idea to Disney. Before you know it, Bruckheimer had put his extensive resources into making the next cute talking animal film for the Mouse House.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on December 15th, 2009
"Space...The Final Frontier. These are the voyages of the Starship Enterprise. Its 5-year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before!"
Paramount was bold indeed when they undertook the remaster project of the original series. Not only did they clean up the prints, but they took the decidedly risky option of redoing most of the f/x shots from the original prints. We all know just how cheesy the old work looked when compared to today’s computer abilities. You could see a box around spacecraft that allowed the obvious cutout to maneuver through a cardboard star field. There were often mix-ups where phaser shots would be used for photon torpedo commands and the opposite. The planets often utilized matte paintings that look somewhat ridiculous now. We forgave these flaws with a complete understanding of the limitations the crew had at the time. While Star Trek showed us computers that were remarkably similar to the PC’s we use today, down to the floppy drives of our own yesteryear, the use of computers to create f/x was still many years away. So Paramount decided to “fix” these “flaws” and make much of the show look like it might have had it been produced today. It was a serious risk because of the extreme possessiveness fans have for these kinds of shows. Just ask George Lucas how much fans like their sci-fi tinkered with. The project encompassed a few years, and the results are quite attractive. But how do they stand up for the fans?
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Michael Durr on December 15th, 2009
Janky is a term that means shady or dishonest. An adjective that is anything but tasteful. Throw that in with the noun promoters and what you have is possibly the biggest revelation since somebody discovered Jon & Kate would have marital issues with eight children & a camera crew running around. Oh really? So, when I received Janky Promoters in the mail with Ice Cube and Mike Epps smiling ear to ear, all I could think was “Janky Promoters indeed.”
Russell Redds (played by Ice Cube) is an entertainment promoter. He has a fiancée named Loli (played by Jowharah Jones) who he plans to take to Aruba. He also has a kid named Seymour (played by Little JJ) who has aspirations of being a young rapper. It sounds like the perfect family but yet there are more than a few kinks in this scenario.