Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on January 18th, 2006
Synopsis
Toni Collette and Cameron Diaz are sisters. Collette is the older, sensible one, who has made a career as a lawyer. Diaz is the hard-drinking, terminally selfish party girl. After a series of disasters, which culminate in Diaz sleeping with Collette’s beau, the sisters have a seemingly irreversible falling out. Collette’s life is in ruins, but the pieces are gradually picked up by a co-worker who has loved for from afar for years. Diaz, meanwhile, discovers that she has a grandmother she nev...r knew about (Shirley MacLaine), and heads off to the Florida retirement community. She starts off as a sponge, but gradually begins to mature as a human being.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on January 10th, 2006
This is the perfect time for Lion's Gate to release Made on UMD for the PSP. Not only does the film feature such trendy personalities as Faizon Love and Puff Daddy/Puffy/Sean "Puffy" Combs/P-Diddy/Diddy, but it also stars the current comedic genius of the week... Vince Vaughn. That's not to say that I don't like Vince Vaughn, it's just that he is riding such a high wave since his hilarious work in Wedding Crashers that this is the perfect time for the studio to cash in on some of his lesser known films ...s well. In fact, I have been a fan of Vaughn's ever since Swingers.
Which brings me to my point. Made is one of those all-too-rare films that aren't really sequels, but are something of a reimagining of a couple of characters. Vaughn and writer/director/co-star Jon Favreau pretty much play the same two guys they did in Swingers, which I just can't get enough of. While the topic of that film was dating in Los Angeles, this one is about the dull life of lower-level gangsters trying to make it big. These two bumbling idiots decide that the best way to make a name for themselves (and earn some cash to boot) is to act as L.A. muscle for a NYC mob operation. As you can imagine, their failures are comic gold.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on January 8th, 2006
Bad News Bears is not necessarily a fine film, but it is a lot better than the host of other remakes Hollywood has thrown at us as of late. Billy Bob Thorton stars in the film, and I quote, “as a drunk who makes a living killing rats to live in a trailers.” The film seems to take his character from Bad Santa and the football coach in Friday Night Lights and seems to merge the two. However, neither of his tactics in either film are used in the film. This results in the audience liking his characte... more than he probably likes himself.
The original 1976 film starred the late Walter Matthau. Thorton’s performance in the film seems to be holding a candle to Matthau’s. Thorton just seems to find more of a sad tone in his character of Morris Buttermaker than Matthau did. His team is called the Bears, which is only around due to a lawsuit that feels the Little League discriminates. The attorney Liz Whitewood (Marcia Gay Harden) demands that the league except all players. This results in the typical sport film’s cliché. His team gets ALL of the terrible players including a black kid, two Spanish speakers, an Indian, a kid who seems to be too little to even hold the bat, and one kid who is in a motorized wheelchair. As you can possible assume from this cliché, is that NONE of these players can play the game.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on January 6th, 2006
Synopsis
Welcome to Vince Lombardi High School, where new principal Mary Woronov (coming on like a cross between Miss Jean Brodie and Ilsa) is determined to stomp the student body into submission. In order to do this, she wants to banish rock music. Her chief antagonist is PJ Soles, a huge fan of the Ramones, and she eventually enlists the band itself to help defeat Woronov and her fascistic hall monitors.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on January 4th, 2006
Synopsis
Diane Lane has been divorced for eight months and still isn’t in a new relationship, which, according to everyone around her, is a situation on par with lymphoma. At any rate, her sister posts her profile on an Internet match-making site, and a date with the recently divorced and incurably romantic John Cusack ensues. Things get off to a rocky start, though, and there’s the hunky divorced father of one of her preschool students who also catches her interest. What road will lead to true love?.../p>
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on January 3rd, 2006
Synopsis
The Stiffler character from the Amercian Pie movies has, it turns out, a younger brother, who is also a loathsome creep. After sabotaging the high school band’s performance, his punishment is to attend band camp himself. He makes the best of a bad deal, planning to videotape raunchy goings on.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 31st, 2005
The first Deuce Bigelow film was something of a surprise hit. Rob Schneider's first outing as a leading man was never expected to be as, well... genuinely entertaining as it was. Sure, the movie was a little hokey, but that was to be expected. After all, we're talking about a film that tells the story of a pool boy that becomes a gigolo. What was not expected was that the film would actually have a heart. As would be expected, the film had its fair share of comedy, but the tender love story was unexpected and ...enuine. Could lightning really strike twice?
In a word, “no”. This is the film that audiences were expecting the first time around. It is childish, contrived, and decidedly low-brow, with none of the genuine affecting elements of the first film. This time around, as the title suggests, Deuce spends some time in Europe; Amsterdam to be exact. No longer a gigolo, Deuce is now helping out his old pimp TJ by trying to catch a serial killer of “man whores”. As bad as that plot sounds, trust me... it's worse. So many of the jokes just make no sense. For instance, at one point TJ finds some french fries just lying around, and decides to eat them. He then accidentally drops them into the toilet. Naturally, he then dips them out and eats them. Why would he do that? What's more.. who cares? Certainly not me.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 30th, 2005
Meiert Avis' new romantic comedy-drama Undiscovered has been turning up on more than a few worst lists for 2005, and while that may be an unfair assessment, as just about every film out this year could have made it onto the same list, it's still no picnic. Some of the numbers are hip enough, and the two lead actors deliver likeable, though poorly written performances. However, Ashlee Simpson's performance drives it all down into the mud and solidifies her standing as not just the least talented Simpson daughter, but also one of the most obnoxious wretches, who dares call herself a celebrity.
While anyone who's ever created anything can certainly relate to the noble Luke Falcon in his efforts to make it big on his own terms, no viewer can get past the egotistical pseudo-charms of Simpson, whose very performance seeks selfish standing as Undiscovered's novelty act. I didn't want to turn this into an Ashlee bash-fest, but she makes it too darn easy, and clouds the quality of what otherwise may have been a decent romantic comedy-drama. She spends all of her too-freely-given screen time shooting frequent looks to the camera and smiling a big stupid grin as if she's flirting with us. While Jessica may be somewhat charming and physically attractive (jury's still out), Ashlee falls far short of what could be construed as her sister's qualities, and seems like she's doing her best stupid impersonation. And while she certainly makes a convincing idiot, it's her sister's act, and she needs to find one of her own. Of course, when the only reason she's even succeeded depends on the existence of her sister, originality may be a hard attribute to come by.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 29th, 2005
John(Owen Wilson) and Jeremy(Vince Vaughn) are divorce mediators faced with the daily struggle of attempting to reconcile fractured partners for long enough to enable them to reach some kind of settlement. But let's not worry about that too much because it’s nearly wedding season, a time when their entire agenda shifts focus. Why? Because John and Jeremy are wedding crashers. We're not talking about anything half-hearted either. These two are professional wedding crashers. They have rules, game-plans, and even fake f...mily trees to help them crash any party. Anglo or African-American, Italian or Spanish, Chinese or Korean, it does not matter to them—they just pretend to be some distant relative of a dead aunt and bluff their way through the rest. The purpose behind this cleverly conceived fraud? Simple, they want to get laid. They want no-strings-attached sex with beautiful, twenty-something women. Tons of them.
After a long and eventful season of fun weddings, these two come across the ultimate wedding to crash. The eldest daughter of a prominent Senator is getting married, and John and Jeremy simply cannot afford to miss such an illustrious event. When they arrive, however, it is not long before the plan goes out of the window and everything starts to fall apart. Although they appear to find their designated targets, and set about on their elaborate plans to seal the deal with these lovely ladies, it turns out that things are much more complicated than they seem because the girls are the two younger daughters of the Senator and they each come with their own share of woes. The boys may just have their work cut out for them if they want to close the deal but the real trouble comes when they start to realize that they may want more than just the one night.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 21st, 2005
Where does Dukes of Hazzard fall on the spectrum of TV show adaptations? Somewhere in the middle, which came as a surprise. I expected a stupid flick with no entertainment value, but I got a stupid flick with more than a few glimmers of amusement. The film’s plot borders on irrelevant, but I’ll recap it anyway. The flick focuses on the adventures of cousins Bo (Seann William Scott) and Luke (Johnny Knoxville) Duke. They deliver moonshine for their Uncle Jesse (Willie Nelson), and Bo also succeeds as a local ra...e driver. He looks forward to his fifth consecutive victory in the annual Hazzard County road race. However, an obstacle arrives when former four-time champion – and now pro driver – Billy Prickett (James Roday) returns to compete.
It turns out he’s there to create a diversion for local mogul Boss Hogg (Burt Reynolds). Hogg frames the Dukes to take over their land, and they learn that he’s done the same to claim other connected properties. With the aid of their sexy cousin Daisy (Jessica Simpson) and others, Bo and Luke attempt to find out Hogg’s plan and stop it. Along the way, they try to avoid law enforcement authorities and score with some babes – oh, and Bo still wants to win that race.
