Genre

2004 brought moviegoers two big-budget historical epics in Oliver Stone's Alexander and Wolfgang Petersen's Troy. One bombed. The other performed well, but was by no means heralded as a critical success. No, Troy was praised for slick production values and exciting battles, but derided for a lack of emotional depth.

Can it all be blamed on running-time constraints and compromises made for the ratings board? The answer is here, with the unrated Troy: Director's Cut, Petersen's second shot at eternal glory, this time with more than 30 minutes of additional footage.

It’s hard for me to believe that Darkman comes from a time when Sam Raimi was fresh off directing Evil Dead 2 and Liam Neeson was a little known Irish actor. A lot has changed since then, but a true classic can stand the test of time, and although I was very young when I first saw this movie, I remember it being very unique. Of course my perspective on films has blossomed since the time I was watching Rugrats, and it has literally been that long since I’ve seen Darkman. Nonetheless I’m pleased to finally get the chance to watch this Liam Neeson classic, and in HD to boot.

Darkman was hardly what I remembered it, but not in a bad way. I can understand it better now, and see there is more depth to it than I remember. It tells the story of scientist Peyton Westlake (Liam Neeson, Star Wars Episode I : The Phantom Menace) who is developing a synthetic skin that would allow burn victims to appear normal. That’s pretty handy considering Mr. Westlake is about to be hideously disfigured, but I’ll overlook that. Anyways, there is a flaw with the skin; it only lasts for slightly over 90 minutes before it disintegrates in the sun. In the dark it will stay intact. This all comes into play later, but in the meantime Westlake’s girlfriend and attorney Julie Hastings (Frances McDormand, Fargo) has found evidence incriminating a local developer and a mobster. This leads to Westlakes lab being blown up, with him in it. The Darkman is now born, the disfigured Westlake undergoes surgery that severs his nerves and his ability to feel anything, along with an overactive adrenal gland, and you got a pretty pissed off halfway superhero. He escapes from the hospital and hopes to rebuild his relationship with Hastings, and get his vigilante justice on those responsible for making him the way he is.

It’s clear watching Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer that Tim Story and company spent lots of time on the Silver Surfer and little gags for the Four’s powers, and not so much time on the actual story.

The result is a shiny hunk of refuse. There are holes all over the place, and once again the filmmakers have failed to present characters and conflicts the audience will actually care about. The world’s going to end? Big deal. On the bright side, while the film sucks, this 2-Disc Power Cosmic Edition DVD set is pretty fantastic.

What would happen if a studio was so confident in a show that it offered the DVD’s at a reduced price and slapped on a money back guarantee? Universal has done just that with Friday Night Lights. There is a rebate program where you can turn your discs back in for a full refund if you’re not completely satisfied with the show. Couple that with the fact I picked up this entire season for only 20 bucks, and I’d say somebody is either really stupid, or they’ve got a hell of a television series. Friday Night Lights is the latter.

Since Mystery Science Theater 3000 came to an end, fans have been having to make do with various second-best replacements. The most obvious one has been Mike Nelson’s solo commentaries on the likes of Reefer Madness and House on Haunted Hill. Though his efforts have been amusing, they have like the lunatic fun generated when he had Tom Servo and Crow to bounce off. With The Film Crew releases, we have the closest thing yet to a return of MST3K, as Nelson is reunited with Kevin Murphy and Bill Corbett (who were the ‘bots). Playing themselves, they are a trio of working joes whose job is to provide commentary tracks to undeserving films. We don’t see their silhouettes, but we hear their exchanges over the course of the film. The result is pretty damn funny.

Killers from Space is a hilariously dismal 1954 SF opus from W. Lee Wilder (Billy’s singularly untalented younger brother). The boys give this tale of Peter Graves encountering aliens with ping-pong-ball eyes a deserved trouncing. Their work is easily on par with their MST3K days, and some of their post-film antics (which I will not spoil here) have me cackling even as I write these words. This really is the next best thing to MST3K.

If it’s 1977, this must be softcore, and so it is. Vanessa is a another lush sexual travelogue, dug up from the archives and given a rather spiffy release from Severin. Yet another product cast in the Emmanuelle mould, Vanessa has its titular heroine leave her convent home (gee, what sort of nonsense do you think we find out happened there?) after she comes into a large inheritance. Flying to Hong Kong, she finds out that this inheritance consists of a chain of high-end brothels. Cue the exotic locations and varied sexual encounters. There’s nothing hugely striking or original about any of this, but as an example its type, it’s quite handsomely mounted, makes some eyebrow-raising use of classical music, and has a couple of scenes that (almost) reach a (kind of) frenzy (all proportions maintained).

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It’s back, yet again, and looking for more brains. Dan O’Bannon’s lively zombie comedy tells the tale of a toxic spill reanimating corpses who, not content with wanting to eat your brains, are going to give you lip about it at the same time. Notable for its mix of horror, punk rock, gore, humour and nudity (this is the film that established Linnea Quigley as a horror starlet), the film has since been bested in terms of wit and gore by both Dead/Alive and Shaun of the Dead, but it was there first, and remains great fun. Never having caught the film in the theatres, I haven’t noticed anything amiss with the soundtrack, but the chatter out there among the film’s fans lets it be known that some of the songs have been truncated, so be warned on that front. Otherwise, have a blast.

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Detective “Iron” Mike Stone (Karl Malden) is a seasoned veteran of the San Francisco Police Department. He’s an old fashioned no nonsense detective whose life has taken some bitter turns of late. Much to his aggravation he gets partnered with Keller (Michael Douglas), a green detective who hasn’t lost his belief that he can make a difference. Together they just might be able to teach each other something. Before long the two develop a teacher/mentor relationship that works well enough to solve the cases and get the bad guys.

My mother was a big fan of The Untouchables. I think she really just had a crush on Robert Stack. Years later when Stack was hosting Unsolved Mysteries, I could swear that I heard her murmur a few Ness lines under her breath. I was entirely too young to remember even the syndicated run that my mother was watching in the late 1960’s. Under more normal circumstances that would not matter as I could introduce myself to this world with the DVD release. That was before 1987, and the release of Brian De Palma’s classic film. Honestly, I simply can’t watch these episodes without thinking of that movie. For an entire generation that film has defined these characters and that time. It’s unfortunate, really, because this 1960 series had a lot going for it, particularly when you look at what else was on television at that time. Never before had such brutal violence in such a starkly real world graced the black and white sets of America. When I read articles about the controversy surrounding these depictions, I am forced to smile a little. By today’s standards these shows are quite tame. Still, the flurry of protests the show spawned were quite real. Italians were also vocal in their belief that the show went too far in portraying nearly every bad guy as being of Italian descent. I have to admit some of these accents make Father Sarducci sound good. Complaints went as far as the US Attorney General. My, have things changed. I am also of Italian heritage and gladly sit down to an hour of Tony Soprano eating it up about as fast as a bowl of tortellini and gravy. While there are still those of us who feel racially exploited, most of us embrace the mob mythology of The Godfather and Goodfellas. We can accept the difference between reality and fantasy. And so I watch these episodes as if I were some remote viewer, not only from a different time but a different place.

Based on a popular 1957 novel by Alistair MacLean, The Guns of Navarone was a smash hit in 1961, and the highest grossing film of that year. It’s a World War II movie, and for its time was considered to be packed with excitement. While it definitely has some great action sequences, for modern standards the film has nowhere near the fast pace or high action-to-dialogue ratio we’ve come to expect from the genre.

So many years later, can a slow, talky action movie still excite audiences? And is The Guns of Navarone – 2-disc Collector’s Edition a worthy upgrade over the 2000 special edition release? Read on to find out.