Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 16th, 2005
Just in time for the mega release of Peter Jackson’s King Kong comes a slew of Kong-related merchandise determined to cash in on the hoopla. Like long lost relatives only interested in you after that big lottery win, these forgettable items are giving it one desperate shot on DVD. Among this sub-par schedule of releases is the new feature-length cartoon Kong – King of Atlantis. In this outing, Kong is a new gorilla descended from the original King Kong. He has inherited the size, but is still struggling...to find his way into mental maturity. Hampering his journey is a trio of mostly clueless human allies that really bog down the action in spite of the elements that are actually there to recommend it. While most children will delight at the sight of Kong, his speechless bear cub friend, and a friendly overgrown tiger (reminiscent of He-Man’s Battle Cat), the human element will stop any further interest flat in its tracks.
Rather than bringing kids into the action through relatable human involvement, the creators have conjured up three whiny, obnoxious caricatures that will leave all children young and old begging for another shot of Kong and his animal friends. Not helping the likeability factor among the three human stars is a lurid opening musical number – to the best of my knowledge, it’s called “De-cide Now” – which will make even the most open-minded fan of family entertainment cringe in despair until it’s finally over.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 15th, 2005
Written by Clayton Self
The Polar Express is a milestone in digital film making. Making use of “performance capture” (little attachments connected to the body to mimic human movement) and green screens, Robert Zemeckis (Back to the Future) has created a stunning visual world that is sure to find its way into homes of millions to be enjoyed during the Holiday season. Labeled by some as creepy because of the not quite real, yet not quite fake digital characters, The Polar Express is nothing more than an epic Christmas a...venture to be enjoyed by kids and adults alike.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 15th, 2005
Synopsis
During the Cold War, a vaguely defined group breaks into a Romanian church and the cavern beneath it for vaguely defined reasons. They accidentally trigger a landslide, trapping themselves beneath the earth. Jump forward thirty years, and the cavern has been rediscovered. A team of cave divers headed up by Cole Hauser descends into the depths, and soon find themselves up against vicious bat-winged monsters. A parasite enters into Hauser’s blood, and he slowly starts to transform into one the...e beasts himself, raising the question as to whether he will retain his humanity long enough to save the people for whom he is responsible.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 14th, 2005
The spoof film means something different to audiences today than it did in the early 80's. Anything, if done enough times over, starts to become stale. For instance, the first Scary Movie, while having a couple of really lame scenes, was actually pretty funny overall. With each sequel, however, came diminished returns. At this point, I wouldn't be surprised to see a film that spoofs spoof films (though I'm not sure how one would do that).
Airplane!, however, was the first of the genre. Not onl... that, but the argument could also be made that it is the best. This film, from the people responsible for the hilarious Kentucky Fried Movie, was a send-up of the popular airplane disaster films of the 60's and 70's. At the time, nobody really knew how to do a film like this, or even how to describe it. In fact, it was pitched to the studio as "Animal House on an airplane", which of course it was not. However, the studio bought in to the idea, and a comedy classic was born.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 14th, 2005
Let’s face it. Hollywood isn’t taking enough chances these days. In the era of film franchises, sequels and remakes, Hollywood has become too predictable, leading to mediocre reviews for most big releases and even worse box office returns. Many film goers have looked to independent and foreign films to challenge them, and for good reason. Foreign films march to the beat of their own drum, use complex themes and imagery to tell their story, and they usually keep you guessing until the very end. The same can be said f...r Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance.
Sympathy hails from Korea, a country not known for its movie making abilities until Chan Wook Park’s Oldboy showed up on the radar last year. Being that Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance is part of the “Vengeance Trilogy” that includes Park’s Oldboy and Lady Vengeance, Sympathy is surely going to gain some late momentum as curious fans of Oldboy start digging beneath its surface and find this 2002 film.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 13th, 2005
Synopsis
Courtney Cox is a photography instructor struggling to put her life back together. A month earlier, on November 7, her boyfriend (James Le Gros) was gunned down during a convenience store robbery. Cox is unable to move on, and is suffering from crippling headaches. One day, a mysterious slide shows up in her carousel: it is a photograph of the exterior of the store during the actual robbery. Cox brings the picture to the attention of the police, hoping they might track down the photographer....They do. And then...
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 11th, 2005
Stargate is something of a cult phenomenon among sci-fi buffs. It is so popular, in fact, that it produced not one, but three spin-off TV shows. It is amazing that the big business of the Stargate franchise started with a quirky little film. Now there are some big fans of this movie that will surely have strong words of disagreement for me, but this is really not a very good film. The premise alone is enough to make most moviegoers roll their eyes. An Egyptian historian cracks an ancient code on a strange artifact, and discovers a method by which to travel to the other side of the universe. Accompanied by token military-types, the whole crew jets off to a strange and distant land, where they find an alien slave camp run by an Egyptian god and... oh, what's the point. This is all really just the stuff of a 16-year-old geek writing stories in his parents' basement. The real story here is that, for some completely unexplainable reason, the movie actually kind-of works in an odd action adventure sort of way. If viewers can suspend belief and go into this with low expectations, you might find an exciting flick to fill an afternoon.
For those that wish the story in this action thrill ride made more sense, this disc includes the extended cut of the film, though unfortunately this cut extends the film by only five additional minutes. Still, with a film like this one, every little bit helps.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 11th, 2005
Synopsis
In Antarctica, Godzilla battles the Gohten-go (an earth-drilling/submarine/flying ship familiar from Ataragon), and winds up buried after an earthquake. Flash-forward to the near future after a superb credit sequence by Kyle (Se7en) Cooper, and monsters are suddenly attacking cities all over the world. Humanity is apparently saved by the extraterrestrial Xilians, who zap the monsters away. Of course, it turns out the Xilians are up to no good, and were controlling the monsters ...ll along. When their plan is exposed, and their leadership assumed by a violent hothead, the Xilians unleash the monsters again, and wipe out human civilization. The only hope for the humanity as a species is for the crew of the Gohten-go to awaken Godzilla and hope he defeats all the other monsters.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 11th, 2005
Synopsis
G.W. McLintock (John Wayne, True Grit, Rooster Cogburn) made most of his money by being a cattle baron. He made so much money in fact, the film’s fictional town was named after him. How cool is that? But all is not milk and honey in McLintock’s life. He has an estranged wife who does not live with him (Quiet Man co star Maureen O’Hara), and now wants a divorce.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 11th, 2005
Synopsis
Sometimes studios will hit big on a film, and other times, they’ll be so far off the mark as to miss the boat completely. Take the case of Frostbite. Summarized, as one cast member puts it, as “part Caddyshack meets part American Pie meets part Dude, Where’s My Car? in the snow.” You know, I remember a movie kinda like that, and I rented it back in 1984, when t was called Hot Dog..The Movie.
