Posted in: Disc Reviews by David Annandale on March 10th, 2007
Terminally naive and beautiful Noelle Page (Marie-France Pisier) is abused and conned by every man she meets. In 1939 Paris, penniless and at the end of her tether, she meets American pilot Larry Douglas (John Beck, looking more like a 70s porn star than a 40s air force pilot). A great romance begins, but then duty calls him away. He promises to find her again in three weeks, but he never shows up. Noelle discovers that she is pregnant, and then finds out Larry is a terminal womanizer. She aborts herself with a wire hanger, and then, feeling she has nothing left to lose, slaughters all the young Jedi... I mean, she sleeps her way to movie stardom, hooks up with a Greek tycoon, obsessively tracks Larry’s life, including his marriage to PR executive Catherine Alexander (Susan Sarandon), and plots a dastardly revenge, a reigniting of the romance, and a murder. Busy girl!
As you might have inferred from the above, Noelle’s transformation from abused and abandoned waif to Queen of Darkness is no more convincing than a recent whiny brat’s transmogrification into the Lord of the Sith. In point of fact, NOTHING in this three-hour soap opera is the least bit convincing (right down to careless framing that permits a skyscraper completed in 1972 to be visible over Nazi-occupied Paris). But then, anyone expecting great art to be made from a Sidney Sheldon novel needs to see a therapist, and quickly. What we have here is trash of the absolutely highest order, and hence the four-star rating. Excessive, grotesque and unfailingly hilarious in a way only the 70s could produce, this is the cinematic equivalent of chowing down on a huge bowl of 100% deep fried, trans-fat munchies. Terrible for you, but delicious. And who can fail to love that title. What in the name of all that is holy does it MEAN?
Posted in: Disc Reviews by David Annandale on February 16th, 2007
These are the other four films featuring Peter Lorre as the mysterious detective Mr. Moto. All but the first are from 1939.
1938's Mr. Moto’s Gamble began life as a Charlie Chan film, but difficulties with that franchise’s star (Warner Oland) led to Fox putting the Chan films on hiatus. Keye Luke, Chan’s Number One Son, is here anyway, as is plenty of footage shot for the Chan film. Luke and comic relief ex-boxer Slapsie Maxie Rosenbloom do their best to help Moto solve a case of murder in a boxing ring.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on November 24th, 2006
Synopsis
John Steinbeck, looking and sounding remarkably like James Ellroy, and coming across as surprisingly two-fisted given the overall tone of the movie, introduces a quintet of stories by O. Henry. “The Cop and the Anthem” features Charles Laughton as a dignified bum trying unsuccessfully to get himself arrested so he can spend the winter in a nice, warm prison (Marilyn Monroe is one of the top-billed, but she has only one brief scene here). “The Clarion Call” has Dale Robertson as a detective w...o realizes that a wanted murderer is, in fact, a childhood friend to whom he owes a huge debt. The friend is played by Richard Widmark, who shamelessly recycles his psycho act from Kiss of Death, right down to the hyena laugh. In “The Last Leaf,” Anne Baxter struggles to convince her pneumonic sister (Jean Peters) that life is worth living. “The Ransom of Red Chief” is the tale of two con-men (Fred Allen and Oscar Levant) who kidnap a young boy and very quickly wish they’d never clapped eyes on the holy terror. And “The Gift of the Magi,” the most famous story of the bunch, is the Christmas tale of a young couple (Jeanne Crain and Farley Granger) who give up their most treasured possessions in order to buy each other a special gift.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on November 23rd, 2006
Synopsis
Michael Caine is a down-on-his-luck PI in LA. He’s hired to find the long-lost daughter of a man who is now wealthy, though being hunted by goons. Caine heads off to house of the presumed daughter’s adoptive parents. There are two women the right age here. Which one is he looking for? Could it be Natalie Wood?
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on November 13th, 2006
Synopsis
Gregory Peck is a Nobel-laureate scientist sent to China to try to recover a new enzyme that allows one to grow any crop in any climate. The operation is being conducted jointly by the Americans, the British and the Russians (!). Peck has a transmitter implanted in his head that relays his physiological conditions and his every word back to base. What he doesn’t know is that the implant is also explosive, and trigger-happy general Arthur Hill might well blow Peck’s top, as it were.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on November 10th, 2006
Synopsis
George Segal is assigned by spymaster Alec Guinness to find the base of a group of neo-Nazis in Berlin. Head bad guy Max Von Sydow hopes to pry information out of Segal, specifically where the base of the good-guy spies (the precise organization is vague) is located. Segal’s only help is a schoolteacher (Senta Berger) with whom he begins an affair. George Sanders turns up in a couple of scenes for no particular reason.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on October 25th, 2006
Synopsis
Michael Caine is a jewel thief recruited by Eric Portman and wife Giovanna Ralli for a big job. Caine falls in love with Ralli, but that’s fine with Portman, who’s gay. There are yet more secrets that he has yet to reveal, however, and they could jeopardise the success of the partnership.
