Touchstone

Miley Cyrus is displaced from New York to spend the summer by the sea in Georgia with estranged father Greg Kinnear. While younger brother Bobby Coleman thinks the set-up is just keen (especially former composer dad's work restoring the stain glass windows of a burned church), Cyrus stomps around in full Resentful Teenage Girl mode, until two things make her begin to open up: the need to protect a nest of sea turtles, and the attentions of the impossibly hunky Liam Hemsworth. Since this is a Nicholas Sparks story, true love and happiness will have to run the gauntlet of class snobbery, Disturbing Revelations ™, and the inevitable Third Act Fatal Illness That Brings Out The Best In Everyone (also a registered trademark).

Oh dear, am I waxing cynical? I suppose I am. Fans of Cyrus and Sparks will, of course, see this no matter what, and will probably get what they're hoping for. For everyone else, well, Kinnear does what he can, and should be congratulated for making his scenes as watchable as they are. But otherwise, we have a charmless lead, and a script so hamfisted, so filled with contrivances as predictable as they are overblown, that the film would be hilarious if it weren't so dull.

My relationship with romantic comedies has not been one of wedded bliss. More often than not, it is something I get forced into. Once you are forced into something, then you automatically have a pre-disposed attitude against the movie. Hence, I haven’t liked too many of these things. Thankfully in the last few years, if I see a romantic comedy it’s been mostly because it ends up in my review queue. This in turn has given me a softer approach to these movies but don’t think I’m going all sentimental just yet.

Beth (played by Kristen Bell) is a successful art curator for the Guggenheim. After a great art show, she is talking to her friends and mentions how she hates her ex-boyfriend: Brady Sacks’ guts (played by Lee Pace). Of course, he’s standing right behind her. They talk for a while and it appears that Brady is bitter over the fact that he got dumped at Applebees (he probably wasn’t allowed to get the Riblets, I hear they are divine). Brady then mentions he is engaged.

"Every town has a story... Tombstone has a legend."

"This is the Earth at a time when dinosaurs roamed a lush and fertile planet. A piece of rock just six miles wide changed all of that. It hit with the force of 10,000 nuclear weapons. A trillion tons of dirt and rock hurtled into the atmosphere, creating a suffocating blanket of dust that the sun was powerless to penetrate for a thousand years. It happened before. It will happen again. It's just a question of when."

When was 1998 with the summertime blockbuster movie Armageddon. This film was the poster child for summer tent pole movies. It had everything to combat any of those summertime blues. There was adrenaline-pumping action and adventure. We got to witness groundbreaking, for the time, special effects. Who can beat the threat of global devastation and a ragtag team of unlikely heroes sent to save the day? There's space travel and plenty of explosions. The movie sported an all-star cast. There's even a classic red or blue wire moment. And, of course, there were computer generated lifelike dinosaurs munching on the panicked citizenry. Okay, so I made that last part up. There were no dinosaurs. But, who would dare to deny this was a film loaded for box office bucks? It was often hounded by the critics for being somewhat unbelievable. There were also the usual complaints of a thin plot covered over by a huge spectacle. And every one of those accusations is dead on true. Who cares? This was an imaginative amusement park ride from beginning to end. It was never intended to do anything more than entertain. And entertain it did in the summer of 1998. And, entertain it continues to do today on a sweet Blu-ray high definition release. The theatergoers agreed with me then to the tune of $201 million at the box office and $350 million worldwide. Consider that this reviewer accounted for about 8 bucks of that money. If I hadn't gotten an advance copy of the Blu-ray, I would have been in line to relive the fun in glorious high definition. Since I already have mine, it means I saved you a place in line. Don't blow it.

"Look at yourselves. Unplug from your chairs, get up and look in a mirror. What you see is how God made you. We're not meant to experience the world through a machine."

Since the time we were kids, we were warned that you can't tell a book by its cover. That has never been more true in our modern world of the internet. We play in chat rooms where almost no one is who they pretend to be. We lie about our age, looks, and even our gender, and rationalize it as harmless escapism or merely exaggeration. Everyone does it, or so we believe, so it's actually expected. Police officers often pose as innocent young children to lure pedophiles out of their dark lairs and into a new dark lair, this one with bars and armed guards. So, I guess it's not that large of a leap into the world of Surrogates. Now you can order an entire working body to look like anything you want. You sit in a comfortable pod and live through this artificial skin. You can't feel pain. You can't catch a disease. You can't die ... or, again, so you would very much like to believe. If we can't change the book, we can now at least change the cover.

High school was a nightmare for me, I try to forget most of it. For me, there was no 10 year high school reunion and I was glad I never went. Speaking of ten & high school, this is the 10th year anniversary of 10 Things I Hate About You, a Gil Junger comedy that helped launch quite a few careers. As such, they made the leap to Blu-Ray with a well-done anniversary edition. But how does the movie hold up?

Cameron James (played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt) is new to Padua High School. He is assigned another student, Michael Eckman (played by David Krumholtz) to show him around. Michael introduces him to the various groups of kids and they start to develop a friendship. Cameron then spots a girl, Bianca Stratford (played by Larisa Oleynik) and his life would never be the same.

My history with romantic comedies is not a good one. Okay, I cried at the Notebook. *Looks nervously at the man card floating in his wallet*. So, what I cried at Rocky and Bloodsport too. I feel better now. But normally, I look at romantic comedies and want nothing to do with them. But every once in a while, along comes a romantic comedy with a decent cast and a somewhat different story. Even though I can see the ending coming a mile away, hopefully the journey there is interesting and thoughtful.

Andrew Paxton (played by Ryan Reynolds) is the best assistant in the world. He gets to work on time, he always has the right latte for his boss, and his shirt always looks perfect (even if it is borrowed from a co-worker). He works at Colden Books, a publishing company and his dream is to become an editor, especially after three years of being an assistant. He is an assistant to the executive editor-in-chief Margaret Tate (played by Sandra Bullock).