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Synopsis

Many people have provided screwed up metaphors as to just how important Led Zeppelin has been to music in the last 35 years. So of course, I’ve gotta throw one in. Imagine today’s rock musicians as workers in a factory, all punching in and out for work at a time clock each day. Led Zeppelin is the clock. There really was nothing before it that could compare to it, and while there have been some imitators, real or implied (Whitesnake and Kingdom Come being two names from the 80’s hair band metal day...), not many things have matched the impact of the vocals by Robert Plant, Jimmy Page’s blistering, blues-rooted guitar solos, and the rhythm section of John Paul Jones and John Bonham. They were among the first to put radio-unfriendly songs on their albums, with many songs running past the 3 or 4 minute radio single time, some songs going 6, 7 or 8 minutes. And their live performances were legendary. Their performances symbolized the 70’s with sprawling, maybe even pretentious, versions of songs like "Dazed and Confused" or "Whole Lotta Love." Live versions of these songs stretched into the 20 to 30 minute duration. During these times, Page would break out a violin bow to play his guitar with, Jones would play mysterious organ pieces, and Bonham’s work epitomized the drum solo, with a mix of power and touch, sometimes using his sticks, sometimes using the same power when hitting the drums with his hands. The group managed a period of fanatical success from 1969 to 1980, culminating in the unfortunate death of Bonham.

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Michelle Trachetenberg is a gifted science student, and her mother (Joan Cusack), a committed feminist, is pushing her to forge her way through college. But her Trachtenberg’s true love is figure skating, and she manages to combine the two in a physics project, which opens the door to more skating for her. What to do when she turns out to be really good at skating? That or more academic pursuits? Her opposite number is Hayden Panettiere, the stuck-up blonde whose mother (Kim Cattrall) is a f...gure skating coach and is pushing her daughter as hard as Cusack is pushing hers. How will it all turn out?

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In the 1920s, heiress Bo Derek (looking wildly anachronistic) seeks to learn the ways of ecstasy. (Don’t get mad at me. I didn’t make this up.) Accompanied by her best friend and faithful chauffeur George Kennedy (here making a huge career step down from such *ahem* highs as The Concorde: Airport ‘79), she hares off to Morocco, inspired by Valentino movies to give her virginity to a sheik. When he fails to come through in the clutch, she next turns her sights on a Spanish bullfighter....He turns out to be the man of her dreams all right, but then a bull nails him where it counts. Shock! Drama!

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Before they became the musical powerhouses that adolescents have grown to love and adore as part of the entertainment landscape, it’s common knowledge that Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake and Christina Aguilera all appeared on Disney’s “Mickey Mouse Club” show in the early ‘90s. But what you may not have known is just how many other semi-recognizable names appeared in the show during its run. Not only was another boy band musician on the show (JC Chasez), but you also had quality acting talents i... Keri Russell (Felicity) and Ryan Gosling (The Notebook). If you look at the noteworthy names that came out of this show, this is probably the 1983 NFL Draft, when it comes to teen acting, singing and dancing talent.

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Hugely popular in the 1950s, but politically excoriated and ultimately shut down, EC Comics such as Tales from the Crypt saw their stories revived first in the theatrical Amicus anthologies of the early 70s, and then as this TV series. Here is the first season (a mere six half-hour episodes), directed by the likes of Richard Donner, Walter Hill, Robert Zemeckis and Mary Lambert, among others. The stories are very faithful to the spirit of the comics (and are taken from actual stories)... and play out as simple, gory morality tales. A husband, driven mad by his wife’s love of animals, takes up taxidermy, only to wind up stuffed himself. A newlywed couple takes refuge in a spooky old house, where the husband plans to do away with his rich wife, only to have the tables unexpectedly turned on him. And so on. Lots of blood, over-the-top performances, and nary a moment that takes itself seriously. Good family fun, in other words.

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Let me get this out of the way first: I’m a Homicide junkie. While I’m grateful it got the run it did, to see it almost eternally on the graveyard TV timeslot of Friday at 10pm crushed me. And to see it get beaten in it’s time slot by Nash Bridges and remain virtually anonymous in the shadow of NYPD Blue discouraged me. But I’m a fanboy. It was filmed in my hometown (Baltimore), and while some of its actors were noteworthy elsewhere (among those were Ned Beatty, Yaphet Kotto an... Jon Polito), others, most notably Andre Braugher (City of Angels), used their time to earn consistent dramatic praise and spawned it into a solid movie career. And when Hollywood director (and Baltimore native) Barry Levinson (Rain Man) executive produces a show written by the outstanding veteran Tom Fontana (Oz, St. Elsewhere), some quality writing and exemplary performances were soon to follow. Directors often were taken aback by the almost automatic pilot nature of the production, but it did not stop them, as well as others, from guest directing an episode. Among the names (and faces) you will find on the first two seasons of Homicide are Edie Falco (The Sopranos), Julianna Margulies (ER), Wilford Brimley (The Natural), and Oz regulars Lee Tergesen and Zeljko Ivanek. Guest directors included the late Bruce Paltrow (St. Elsewhere), Martin Campbell (GoldenEye), Alan Taylor (The Sopranos) and John McNaughton (Wild Things).

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Shot in 1974, this is one peculiar piece of work. Springing from director’s John Aes-Nihil’s not altogether healy obsession with the Manson murders, this takes the rumour that the Family filmed their activities and tries to make it flesh. What you see is a series of very convincing-looking Super 8 mm reels of the Family doing their thing, culminating in re-enactments of the Tate-La Bianca murders. Frankly, I’m somewhat at a loss for how to rate this. The home movies look very real, right dow... to every bit of grain and scratched emulsion, not to mention the flat approach to filming (exactly how someone untrained in the use of a camera would shoot this footage). But the point of the exercise, beyond the working out of an obsession (the film is shot in the actual locations), escapes me. However, this is definitely a fine example of something.

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Mother O’Leary and her brood arrive in Chicago just as it is beginning to transform into a metropolis. Her sons grow up to become the amoral Dion (Tyrone Power), who never misses a bet and hooks up with the similarly canny cabaret performer Belle (Alice Faye), and the idealistic lawyer Jack (Don Ameche). Betraying political boss Brian Donlevy, Power arranges for his brother to become mayor, but then finds himself in the targeting sights of Ameche’s reforms. The family feud builds to the nigh... when Mrs. O’Leary’s cow makes that fateful kick.

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Grand Hotel (1932) was the model: a large cast of known faces with soap opera problems. The High and the Mighty takes this set-up and puts the characters in a plane flying from Hawaii to San Francisco, then blows out an engine and has the fuel leak away. John Wayne is the Co-Pilot With The Tragic Past, Robert Stack is the Pilot Losing His Nerve, and they are surrounded by a collection of other very recognizable types: the Cute Kid, the Charming Dying Man, the Loud Couple From N...w Jersey, the Selfish Coward, the Guilt-Ridden Atomic Scientist, and so on. The crisis brings out the best and worst of everybody.

"Here's the story...of a lovely lady...". We all know the beginning of this familiar ditty. It's the Brady Bunch. And they're back in The Brady Bunch - The Complete Second Season. All 24 episodes are classic Brady Bunch fare. Oh to live in a world of ice cream contests, science projects, and slumber parties; and the worst thing you could do was "smoke" *sigh*. Alice, the housekeeper, is along for this harmless ride. The astroturf front yard is still there. The Brady Bunch is a trip back to the "garden"...

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