"You're going to regret that."

Did you know that those windup monkeys that clash the cymbals are called jolly monkeys? I did not .. .that was until I came across a low-budget slasher film called The Jolly Monkey. It's the feature film debut of writer/director Ryan Ebert. The film was obviously put together fast to capitalize on Stephen King and Osgood Perkins' The Monkey, which hit theatres early this year. It doesn't really share anything other than having a monkey in the title. Put together fast, it was. They shot this film in six days with a budget somewhere just under a hundred grand. I found the film also takes a little bit from last year's Imaginary by Jeff Ladlow. You really have many of the same story beats but with much less money than either of the other two films. That's going to be a problem. Let me tell you about it.

“Now we’re playing some football.”

Let’s just start with the high marks: Marlon does his thing, which I fully expected that he would. Right when you think that we have already seen the best that he has to offer, he finds a new gear, and let it be known that he will not be typecast as just a comedian or as a writer or as producer. He is, in fact, him. Pun intended. Tyriq Withers shows some promise as a leading man, and like his character is clearly hungry to make a name for himself, with this project being his second box office horror appearance this year (the other being I Know What You Did Last Summer). Also, you can see Jordan’s Peele’s influence on the film, as there are a handful of similarities to his previous projects. However, Him, while entertaining, does not achieve the same impact as those aforementioned projects. There was plenty of intrigue, but the train somewhat comes off the track, particularly in regard to the film’s conclusion.

"The foxes have holes, and the birds of the air have nests. The son of man hath nowhere to lay his head." I couldn't remember if it was from Luke or John, but it looked like I'd just joined a very exclusive club. It was Matthew, and reading the rest of the chapter before I fell asleep helped me get over the feeling I had when I watched almost everything I own go up in smoke. I tried to drown the rest of my thoughts in beer; that never really works. And the alcohol in my blood didn't make an August night in Boston any cooler. Actually I was being urban-renewed out of my office. I had to move uptown. Of course, uptown for me is still downtown for most people. My new place was at 357 Mass Avenue over a cheap cigar store and a florist specializing in day-old flowers at an office that used to belong to Madam Martino, a psychic."

If that psychic had still been in business, I wonder if she could have predicted the life of television icon Robert Urich.

Watching a production as high-caliber as The Conjuring: Last Rites (2025) naturally comes with a lot of hype, with its Hollywood budget and immense popularity. It is refreshing to see a Hollywood horror film treated with real seriousness, the kind that draws both genre diehards and casual viewers, and my theater was packed as evidence of that. Within its shared universe there are nine, debatably ten, entries you can binge, including Annabelle (2014-2019) and The Nun (2018-2023) with their sequels. The debated tenth, The Curse of La Llorona (2019), is only loosely connected through Father Perez from the Annabelle films. As the title suggests, The Conjuring: Last Rites (2025) positions itself as the capstone to this first phase, and it is wrapped with a cathartic finality. I think one of the main reasons for its success is the fact that these movies are based on real events and experiences from the perspective of the Warrens.

"I'm telling you, it's empty nest syndrome. First Jess leaves for California. Then Torres volunteers to go deep under cover. And now McGee is applying for the Deputy Director position. Poor Parker. The man is alone." 

Mark Harmon as Gibbs was the soul of the NCIS franchise. When he finally called it quits after nearly 20 years, I have to admit I wasn't sure how much longer the show could go on. I mean, there has to be a reason for this kind of longevity. All of the spin-offs have now come and gone. NCIS: Hawaii has now ended.  NCIS: New Orleans shuttered its doors three years ago now after a mere seven years. The longest-running of the spin-offs was L.A., but even they have gone now after only 10 years.

"It takes a heavy sack to sign up for this contest. I'm not gonna go through the whole rule book, but it boils down to this. If you fall below the speed of three miles per hour, you get your ticket. Walk until there's only one of you left."

Stephen King has been America's most renowned writer for about 50 years. That's a long time to stay on top. He does it by giving audiences something they want but are not always willing to admit that they want. Of course, he's the master of horror, but he doesn't always write specifically about horror. The reason King is able to scare us so well is because he understands the human condition. He has an innate ability to touch our emotions. The truth is that the best of his film adaptations have tended to be the films less related to horror. The Shawshank Redemption remains the best Stephen King film ever made.

"I can guarantee your safety ... more or less." 

Some things cannot be beat, and they sure as heck can't be repeated. An old vintage cola commercial used to tell us, "Ain't nothing like the real thing, baby." And Jurassic World Rebirth is going to do anything it can for 134 minutes to try and tell you that isn't true, but we know better, don't we? Anyone who has seen the original Jurassic Park has their favorite moments, but one scene has always stood out for me and so many other film fans I've spoken to. When the camera pans to that peaceful swamp pasture and you see tons of dinosaurs walking about without a care in the world. If you didn't know how to react there, Sam Neill as Dr. Grant showed you how. His expression matched ours, and it was a wonderful cinematic moment of magic and wonder. You can never repeat that ever again. No matter how many Jurassic franchise movies or any other dinosaur movies might attempt to bring you that single moment, they never will.

“I read somewhere, thou shalt not steal. I think it was in the Bible, "Thou shalt not steal." That's not complicated, is it? But, if you do have a problem with that, you can always take it up with God, or Karl Marx, or the Kardashians, or anyone.”

Unfortunately, even Anthony Hopkins wasn’t enough to elevate this film beyond just an OK watching experience. A remake of a remake, Locked stars Hopkins as well as Bill Skarsgard, who I am convinced struggles with picking good movies to become attached to. Not saying that this is a shining example of those difficulties, but I doubt it will do anything to further his reputation in the industry. The film is a remake of the Argentine film 4x4 (2019), which was previously remade in Brazil as A Jaula (2022). Despite not being in the same room for the bulk of the film, I will say that the two played off one another quite well, which I attributed to both actors having significant stage presence. That aside, the film drew too many parallels to another psychological thriller franchise starring an enigmatic actor whose character had penchant for entrapping individuals who needed to learn a lesson.

"My dad used to say, wherever you go, there you are. I guess he was right. No matter how hard you try, or in my case, how far you go, you can't leave it all behind. There is no such thing as a clean slate. They're always there. They're always with you, the stories you've told. Hell, even worse, the ones you never could. This is a story I never tell."

Mark Harmon as Gibbs was the soul of the NCIS franchise. When he finally called it quits after nearly 20 years, I have to admit I wasn't sure how much longer the show could go on. I mean, there has to be a reason for this kind of longevity. All of the spin-offs have now come and gone. NCIS: Hawaii has now ended.  NCIS: New Orleans shuttered its doors years ago after a mere seven years. The longest-running of the spin-offs was L.A., but even they have gone now after only 10 years. I say only 10 years. For most shows a 10-year run is rarefied air.

"I can see the future. It's full of pals helping pals, and being a boss. I'm on the edge of life, and the view is gorgeous." 

Andrew DeYoung has actually been around for quite a little while. He's been directing television episodes a short features since around 2008. And so into every working director a feature film must eventually fall. For Andrew DeYoung it turns out to be the self-written feature film for A24, Friendship. He took a pretty safe route, choosing to work with an actor who has shown a pretty similar shade of dark comedy as Tim Robinson, who plays the lead and very tragic figure. If you've seen episodes of The Office, there's a lot of that kind of humor here. Of course it goes off the rails quite beyond anything you might have seen from the show or Tim Robinson.