Homers, Player Hating, and Swinging the ole Battle Axe, welcome to the weener dog that was left on the grill an hour too long known as Dare to Play the Game.
Welcome to another edition of Dare to Play the Game. I’m your host that wishes he could hit a ball like Ryan Howard. Specifically the one where he hit that sign that some lucky soul won 500 round trip tickets to places like Rome, Georgia and Paris, Texas (I’m thinking the Leaning Tower might be an Oil Tower or Peanu…s). Well, what are you waiting for, lets check out releases!
PS2
Ultimate Board Game Collection(pushed from last week)
X-Box 360
Prey
Chromehounds
Not that much better this week, at least a couple of X-Box 360 titles for you to peruse. Prey will be a pretty cool game that is based off of the Doom 3 engine, and sports some walking on the walls. Unfortunately, I fear it might more style than substance. Chromehounds doesn’t look any better, just your typical war strategy game made by your friends at Sega. I rather just play the Battleship-esque game from Ultimate Board Game Collection.
Quick news stories of interest
Most people have already seen The Daily Show segment “Player Haters,” which mocks several congressmen for being out of touch — even going as far as calling them “insane.”
The segment features comments from Rep. Joseph Pitts,R-PA., to the House Subcommittee on Commerce, Tradeand Consumer Protection. Stewart and co., in typicalDaily Show manner, ridiculed Pitts for the followingastute observation: “It’s safe to say that a wealthykid from the suburbs can play ‘Grand Theft Auto’without turning to a life of crime, but a poor kid wholives in a neighborhood where people really do shootcops and steal cars and deal drugs might not be sofortunate. There’s almost certainly a child somewherein the America who is going to be hurt by this game.Maybe his dad is in jail or his big brother is alreadydown on the corner dealing drugs.”…
The article goes on to mention that Pitts said his words were taken out of context and all videogame violence is evil or something as he shakes his mighty fist. Then supposedly he went off into his cadillac with Lolita, a local prostitute engaged in the discipline of oral fixation. That’s what I heard. Anyhow, to say that kids in a poor neighborhood are more or less likely to do something because of some videogame is ridiculous. But I don’t need to tell you that. There is a little thing called parenting, and a second thing called environment. The videogames, the rap music, take a long back seat. But since we can’t blame parenting that has gone down the tubes, we’ll blame video games, sure. No offense (I might take some flack for this), if your dad is in jail or your big brother is dealing drugs, it isn’t going to matter what game you play, your going to have a hard time in life.
Crave today announced WorldChampionship Cards for the PlayStation 2 and PSP. Thegame features more than 30 varieties of classic cardgames including Bridge, Gin Rummy, Solitaire,Cribbage, Hearts, Spades, and Crazy 8’s. The non-stopcasual action doesn’t stop there, as multiplayerfeatures allow players to compete online, and PSPusers can also play wirelessly against others who fearthe Internet. PS2 and PSP players can even competeagainst each other.
The Simpsons teaser is available in standard and hi-def forfree to all Xbox Live subscribers. The Simpsons Movieis planned for release July 2007.
Leave it to Crave to do something that should have been done for the PS2 console, oh about 3-4 years ago. Seriously, I’ve been begging for a simple online card game forever. Since I don’t spend anytime on the home computer except for Ebay and researching articles, this is really excellent. I have a open challenge for Bridge, Hearts or Spades when this game gets released. Bring it. On the second article, cool beans for XBox live subscribers. I don’t know if I’m all that jammed for a Simpsons movie, especially since we’ve had what 300+ episodes to enjoy? This is a rental at best.
Ode To Morgan Webb
So close, loosen those laces a little more my sweet sweet darling. Morgan is sporting a delicate blue and purple # for us this week. To elaborate on a point I’m sure that goes through many minds, but Adam…isn’t there something else you can do for half an hour? I mean, I’m free, I like standing next to Morgan on a daily basis, and I know a lot about video games. I’m sure I could be a suitable co-host. Actually we could keep Adam as a geeky mascot they show before each commercial with a banana and bad perm job. Hrmm, I think I just had a thought about Morgan and a banana. I’ll keep that to myself.
Reasons the Sega Genesis was better than the SNES
The Golden Axe Series
This wonderful series exclusive to the Sega systems (at least for now, reportedly there is a new one coming to the 360 and PS3 systems), the Golden Axe series. This game started originally in 1989 and was one of the first big titles for the Genesis console. The original cast of characters was Gilius Thunderhead (dwarf with battle axe and weak magic), Ax Battler (guy with broadsword and average magic), and Tyris Flare (girl with long sword and kick butt magic). It was a great side scrolling adventure game that was non stop action and a true delight with 2 players. To be honest, it was one of my favorities along with the Castlevania series, Cadash (very much underappreciated), and Magic Sword. Basically you played your way through the various well scored stages fighting skeletons, big ole guys with hammers, and even Death Adder himself. Quite the treat when you can pull out a level 6 magic and Death Adder and his skeletons shrug it off like nobody’s business (and the skeletons are not invincible, just extremely long lived). The series continued with a couple of sequels (one not really seen on US shores) that weren’t quite as good but kept us interested.
Retro Game of the Week
Crystalis – NES
Retroness takes us to Crystalis, one of the true cult classics for the Nintendo Entertainment System. You basically assumed the role of a boy who was cryogenically frozen for a 100 years and then with the help of 4 mages go off to save the world and rescue another girl with the same frozen affliction by the name of Mesia. This was a cool rpg in the style of Y’s and Zelda with beautiful landscapes and honest hard non-turn based battles. Control was awesome and even the music was fun to listen to. This is fairly easy to pick up for the NES and should be played.
Some Final Thoughts and Mutterings
Thank you for joining me in another column of Dare to Play the Game. This week I had the fortunate opportunity of watching the Home Run Derby on ESPNHD. First time I had watched an entire sports program in HD. It was to be honest amazing. Even better, a Phillie won the sucker for the second year in a row. My wife actually noticed the difference and now seems more optimistic on the when are we going to get one for our own homefront. THANK GOD! Sorry, an outburst was necessary there. Anyhow; hope you enjoy this all-star week, even if I don’t get to see the all-star game I know I already got all of the excitement I’ll probably see from the Phillies this season. Take care.
As Always,
Kedrix of Aldrianian
(*The Forgotten One*)
07/13/2006 @ 11:23 am
Ked, thanks for taking my suggestion and looking at Chrysalis! I loved that game! The ending was sad when the old man died. I’ve tried and tried to play it on an emulator but it’s so hard to start RPG’s when you don’t have the time. Anyway, your column rocks!