Mute the Halo Ahole, Kissing the Chulip, and Paperboy delivered – Welcome to the column that is definitely not the father of Anna Nicole’s kid known as Dare to Play the Game.
Welcome to another edition of Dare to Play the Game. I’m your host that needs to stop playing Rainbow Six @ all hours of the night. I’m up to a Sergeant now, and I think I will get even better. I’m even starting to get the better of some terrorist matches and sharpshooter rounds. But I still have a …ay to go. I just don’t look like a total dufus now. Have I mentioned I need a girlfriend? Yeah I still do…, so if you are 23-29, redhead or short blonde hair, like cute gamer guys and live in the Houston metro area… Okay well that’s just sad I suppose. But one can hope eh?
Ode To Morgan Webb
It’s Valentine’s Day and deep in my cuttles, I heart Morgan. A mystical creature, one of great beauty and brilliance. I wonder if I write her a valentine sonnet, would she read it? Hrmmm, probably not. Some very lucky guy gets to enjoy Morgan and I don’t. Well I sort of do I suppose. I mean there are pictures of her everywhere, from new to old. By watching her on tv, I often feel like I’m right there. In fact, I would venture to say that I see her more than her lucky boytoy does at all. Still…*sigh*, *still*…if my sonnet starts roses are red, violets are blue; I’m in trouble. Too bad Rick James isn’t alive today, he would write me a sonnet; though it might not be PG-13. Oh well, enjoy the valentine’s day kiddoes and be thankful if you have the reason to look forward to it. I’ll be in my house, weeping.
Quick news stories of interest
Bungie’s introducing a new feature for Halo 3’smultiplayer which lets you mute any irritating idiots that keep talkingabout “owning you” or calling people “noobz”. Thank the lord.
In the latest Bungie Update, content manager Frank O’Connor hits thenail on the head by saying “teenagers, plus anonymity, plus microphone= idiot”. Something many people that have played either Combat Evolvedor Halo 2 online will attest to.
So, step in the A-Hole Button, which “lets you exact instant, silentvengeance” on “vocal buttmunches” who, according to O’Connor, are asfun to play against as normal people, as long as you can’t hear them.
Simply hit the back button and the score list comes up with everyone’stag on it. By cruising through the list with the right stick you canhighlight the babbling berk and mute them for the rest of the game.Bliss.
“We’re doing our best to come up with lots of smart solutions for stufflike this,” continued O’Connor, “but honestly, we can’t be parents tosome of these poltroons. We’re much more concerned with giving you guysthe tools you need to silence them.”
That’s pretty smart. I mean I probably get annoying to some people once in a while and they probably wish they had this button. Kidding, I’m loads of fun! Yeah, anyhow there is a fair share of idiots out there in gaming land who will annoy the heck out of you and perhaps not others. So, just silence the little bastards. Works for me. Much better than the other crappy often which is submit negative reviews which I very much disagree with. (We are all gamers folks, unless people are just ridiculous, there is no need for this). This is non-confrontational and will help everybody out in the long run.
Super Paper Mario Unfolds on Wii
First it was coming out on GameCube, then it moved to Wii before going missing inaction somewhere along the line. Finally though, Nintendo has announcedthat Super Paper Mario will heading to American Wii systems on April 9.
In a bizarre stroke of potential PR fancy, Nintendo sent out a pressrelease saying: “Nintendo of America requests the pleasure of yourcompany at the marriage of Peach to Bowser on the 9th day of April 2007.
“The nuptials will take place at the beginning of Super Paper Mario,which will be available for Nintendo’s hot new Wii home video gamesystem. Those who wish to attend – or thwart – the ceremony will needto switch between 2-D and 3-D.”
Good stuff, a very strong title for the Wii. I always loved the idea of Paper Mario which was a great title adept at molding the idea of a 2d and 3d world. Really it’s the last link of a 2d type succeeding very well that is not on a portable system. This one is sure to also sell bunches and bunches and bring a few more gamecubers over to the Wii. That is if you can find a Wii right now. They are still selling like hotcakes and run out the door as fast as Morgan Webb after she hears I booked a hotel room in the same hotel as her. (*rim shot*) Anyhow, for you Wiites; it’s only 2 months, patience.
Paperboy – XBOX Live Arcade
One of the great little gems comes to XBOX Live this week (February 14th @ 2am), in Paperboy. This game was essentially driving down the street on your bike and throwing papers at doors to make deliveries and at various objects like windows (@ non-subscribers), dogs and other obstacles to finish your route. Pretty cool little game. Well it’s coming to XBOX Live. 400 points (~$5 USD) with upgrades to sound and graphics. The special new thing of note is a multiplayer mode where you can team up and play cooperatively (and I’m sure there is a VS of sorts too) either on the same console or across Live. Sure to open the channels of debate of who can throw the best paper or who makes the best “headlines”. For some reason I’ll miss the little handlebar controllers though . I’ll probably pick it up after Castlevania Symphony of the Night comes out in March.
Arcade Classic of the Week
One of the true legendary titles in gaming. It was officially released in 1981, and the little frog has been hoping ever since. It’s actually based off of an old game called Freeway released in 1971 which ran on a mini-computer @ at the University of Washington. The idea is simple, get your frog across the road and across the river into one of his lilypads. Of course you have to dodge traffic and crocodiles (or is that alligators?) along the way and make sure you stay on that log and not fall off into the water. This was available in the standard upright or cocktail table setting. This game has also been ported to tons of systems even the current ones such as XBOX Live (July 12th, 2006). There have been a few sequels as well but none of these captured the brilliance that the first did. So go hop-hop away and be sure to watch out for the gator, okay well later!
Backyard Basketball 2007
Chili Con Carnage
Monster Kingdom: Jewel Summoner
Ratchet & Clank: Size Matters
F-24 Stealth Fighter
A little bit this week. The push of the Ghost Rider franchise is present this week. We can hope for a couple of cool games but we probably won’t get it. The title of interest this week is Chulip, a title that has been delayed for release for a while now due to the fact they just aren’t sure if this sucker will sell in the US. Released on Valentine’s, this game’s goal is to kiss the girl under the ancient tree so that you live happily ever after. This has very odd shaped characters and everything is best described as quirky. But it’s from the minds of Natsume and if you are into different titles, pick this one up. I might be doing so, I’m not sure. The $30 makes me a little weary ($15-$20 would have been near automatic).
Some Final Thoughts and Mutterings
So, Micro Center is on Notice. The little turds of an operation sent me back a postcard for my $100 rebate saying I didn’t buy the xbox within the right period. The period was November 12th to December 3rd. I bought it November 17th. They messed up. I called and they did realize their error, but now it will take 4 more weeks to receive my check. What the heck kinda operation are they running. I guarantee this is a mini-scam, cause half the people won’t call. They probably got way too many people who sent this in. Also this week I got copies of Rumble Roses XX ($20 new at EB), and Links 2004 (old xbox). My dreamgirl (redhead named Ginger) (I forgot to ask her XBL gamertag again!) who works at the EB made a couple of remarks about the game but meh. If you strip away the T&A and are into Japanese type wrestling, you come out with a decent little game. We’ll get it to later. Finally, look for dvd reviews this week, I received three disks this week and these will be up by Sunday. Take it easy kiddoes.
Kedrix of Aldrianian
(*The Forgotten One*)