Dare to Play the Game

Goldeneye XBLA in the can, EGM Blackballed, and Mass Effect could give a case of blueballs? – Welcome to the column that is like going to the bathroom after Mexican food night, full of gas and plenty of things you can’t pronounce known as Dare to Play the Game.

Welcome to another edition of Dare to Play the Game. I had to purchase a new router this week. See my old one was giving me fits. I could connect to Xbox Live just fine but any downloads from marketplace was ridiculously slow and PC Gaming (WoW or Guild Wars) was no walk in the park either. Sure the web moved alright, but any gaming was like surgery for lab rats. I ended up getting the D-Link DIR-625 which supports Wireless N and everything inbetween. It also has that QOS engine which means better gaming priority structure. I hope it just honestly means I can play a game in peace and not have to reset my modem and reset my router everytime the temperature changes in Houston. The only city I have ever seen where you could need a long coat in the morning and shorts in the afternoon followed by long pants at night.

Ode To Morgan Webb
















Welp, this is XPlay week. It’s the week where Morgan gets a real show, not just a “review” show. It appears that she’s laid back and quite at home. Ahhh, the good life. I wonder if she’ll remember all of the people who brought her there. Soothed her, massaged her way to the top. But perhaps she needs to just remember the guys who pimp her everyweek. *sigh* I need loving. *looks a certain direction*

Xbox 360

Looking for someone to blame over the whole XBLA GoldenEye fiasco? Try Nintendo! Sources within Microsoft who were very close to the project (and who also pointed us towards the above, alleged screen) have told us the game was canned not because of disagreements between the two parties, but because of Nintendo boss Satoru Iwata, who believes that, as a title which appeared on a Nintendo console, GoldenEye shouldn’t be made available on a competitor’s system. This despite a proposed deal from Microsoft that would have seen not only GoldenEye released on the Virtual Console, but other, unspecified Rare games (Jetpac? Sabre Wulf?) as well. How very upsetting. Before you set your tasers to “hate”, though, remember, this is coming from one side of a two-sided story.

This all started when Rare announced they were going to bring several older games they did to the Xbox Live Arcade. Incidentally they were Nintendo 64 titles. One of those titles, Goldeneye 64. They even secured all of the appropriate licenses from the movie and everything. The Xbox Live Arcade was going to have another major league title. A FPS shooter that would most likely have multiplayer and delights a whole slew of gamers new and old. They were even trying to include Nintendo on the deal by making sure it made a VC release as well. But Nintendo waved their hands and nobody is getting anything. I’m kinda upset, I always wanted to see Goldeneye and see if it lived up to the hype. (and I’m not buying a N64). Would Goldeneye really be a system mover in today’s marketplace? I doubt it and both companies would have made out in the deal.

Magazines

GameDaily’s ‘Media Coverage’ section has an interview up with Dan Hsu, editor in chief of EGM, on the plight of game journalists and sites getting frozen out by companies as punishment. We recently mentioned Hsu’s blog entry that called out Ubisoft, Sony’s sports game division and Midway’s Mortal Kombat team for practicing this sort of freeze out of media outlets in punishment for ‘”candid reviews” and “less-than-totally-positive previews.”‘. Hsu hastens to point out that this isn’t a regular occurrence, but it does happen. What’s a blackballed media outlet to do?


When the occasional company does turn the screws, Hsu relies on advice from those that came before him. “The thing that always guides me is something my first editorial director [Joe Funk] told me on the day I interviewed at EGM [in 1996],” he said. “I brought up an old EGM editorial where the editor said that Capcom has pulled advertising, but EGM wouldn’t change its ways to win them back. I asked the editorial director about that, and how can EGM survive without advertising…how does the magazine deal with that pressure? He told me, ‘As long as you write for the readers and not the companies, the readership will come, and the advertisers will have no choice but to advertise with you.'”
Companies giveth, companies taketh away, but soldiering forward with some modicum of integrity will at least leave your reputation (and readership) intact. It’s an interesting look at some of the behind the scenes aspects of game journalism and the industry as the whole.

EGM has gotten a lot of bad press lately from certain game divisions such as Ubisoft and Sony sports. This has led to EGM getting games only at time of release date or worse yet having to spend their own money to get games. Simply because EGM gives honest reviews. This is probably why I don’t get games to review (even though this site certainly deserves them). I don’t put up with crap like this and give my two cents to every game or dvd that comes down the pike. I will read other reviews and other sites and marvel when everything gets 4/5 or at least a 3/5 when it deserves a 2 or lower. I like a lot of things but I also can’t stand a lot of things. I appreciate EGM and look forward to my free subscription soon *wink*.

Xbox 360

A new, best-selling video game, Mass Effect, made for the Microsoft Xbox 360 console, allows the characters to engage in explicitly graphic sexual intercourse. Some game experts and pro-family analysts say Mass Effect is marketed to young kids and presents a moral danger to them and that the companies making and marketing the game should be prosecuted.


The game is “clearly marketed to minors,” Cathy Ruse, a lawyer and senior fellow for legal studies at the Family Research Council, told Cybercast News Service.


“There are cultural implications for feeding porn to kids in this way,” and “when you do this, you’re teaching them a distorted lesson about human sexuality and human dignity. These are lessons that they will take with them into adulthood and ultimately society,” Ruse said.


Mass Effect is made by BioWare Corp., in Alberta, Canada. The game has a strong, plot-driven storyline reminiscent of the Star Wars films or television shows like Babylon 5.
As part of that story, the playable character can become romantically involved with a woman, if playing as the default male character; a man, if playing as a woman; and an alien that looks and talks like a woman, for any play-through. This storyline culminates in a cutscene in which the characters copulate in full digital nudity.

…

“This is about money,” Ruse said. “This isn’t about a First Amendment debate. This is about [BioWare] making as much money as it can. It’s putting elements in its games which they think will help them sell more games. They don’t care about what they’re doing to kids.”


She concluded, “This is unethical, and they have a duty to be good corporate citizens. There’s no First Amendment right to exploit children … They’re making money at the expense of children in America, and they ought to be vilified for that…”

What copy of Mass Effect did these guys get? Seriously, I need a copy of that like I need Morgan Webb to return my calls. This response was actually further vilified in the media with some outlets reporting that the game allowed you to create any character or race you wanted and allowed you to participate in any sexual act you can think of. Again, I think I’ve seen the wrong game. Let’s examine this little by little, mainly Cathy Ruse’s comments. “clearly marketed to minors”; It’s rated M for Mature. It’s about space and scifi. I saw way more nudity in Starship Troopers and you never saw anybody complaining about that movie (except for bad taste). Her next statement: “This is about money”. Well of course this is about money. BioWare last time I checked isn’t a non profit organization.

They are going to try and produce the best game possible. Again, they are making games rated typically M for Mature. That means the game isn’t made for little Susi or Johnnie. It’s made for Jack and Jill, full fledged adults. If that means Jack and Jill get one scene of simulated sex with aliens then so be it. We are old enough to make decisions on our own. Therefore your argument is moot. The final statement of note; “This is unethical and they have a duty to be good corporate citizens” Duty? Are you BSing me? Seriously. They have a duty to make games. That’s it, end of story. Perhaps a stronger duty to make games with as few bugs as possible. But I can’t think of anything else. To say it is unethical is perhaps the perhaps the silliest thing a lawyer can say. Especially when most lawyers spend their time chasing ambulances and spending “private time” in a judge’s chambers. Oh yeah, I went there.

Xbox Live Arcade – Boogie Bunnies (800 MS Points)
















Boogie Bunnies?!! Please tell me this is not a DDR clone with cute furry rabbits. *reads* Okay, well not quite as bad but this is a match 3 game but instead of blocks, you have bunnies. Okay it is that bad. The bunnies aren’t bunnies either they are disco fur balls. They put them in exotic locales like the Arctic or Hollywood. Furthermore when you set up a chain combination, it enables the bunnies to boogie down. Available in local or Live multiplayer this one appears to be for the kiddies. The very very young kiddies. If you are more than knee high to a grasshopper, this week might be better suited listening to Devil Bunnies by Thrill Kill Cult for five minutes rather than spending five minutes on the demo.

Again, only two titles this week. Well, at least they still classify as both interesting titles. The first being Pac-Attack which was the Namco answer to Tetris. Blocks of Ghosts, Blocks, Pac-Men and a single fairy would fall to the ground. Making sure everything is nice and organized you are supposed to let Pac-Man eat the ghosts and make lines to shorten the amount of blocks on the board. This leads to filling up the fairy meter and a special event where random lines disappear and give you a score bonus. Kinda cool and maybe one to look into for those who appreciate Pac or puzzle games.















I actually own this release for my Duo. It’s been probably close to 5 years, maybe more since I’ve played this one. It’s in the same breath as Streets of Rage or Final Fight. You play as Hawk or Tony and go through a variety of stages fighting everything from punks to wrestlers to samurais. It’s a pretty easy game and can be finished in one sitting. However, the main thing that sets it apart is the cd music. Provided the tracks are still included, there is some real good rock guitar and makes a lot of stages more entertaining than you think they would be. The graphics are also pretty decent and if you don’t mind some button mashing, it’s a good game honestly.

By the time you read this, hopefully I will have a new router; installed and being enjoyed by either me or my girlfriend. I’m not sure why you put up with something like that (a failing router) for so long. I guess you get used to things and put up with it. For the longest time, I didn’t have numbers on my house. Like the ones indicated that you live at such and such on such & such street. I’m surprised UPS guys or Pizza people ever found my house. But then yesterday, I just decided okay we’ll get some numbers from WalMart and stick them up there. Should have done that months ago. I know its f’ing simple stuff but even though I write these elaborate columns and reviews, I can be lazy from time to time. However, I have a wonderful girlfriend behind me and in the future; two lovely kids. I want them to respect me and have the best family in the world. Maybe I’ll just settle for the kookiest. Until next time, kiddoes.

As Always,
Kedrix of Aldrianian
(*The Forgotten One*)