Baby here again. Yeah, I’m that German Shepherd Chow that keeps you UPS/Fed Ex guys on their toes. I just turned 15 at Christmas, and everyone around here keeps calling me an old dog. Apparently that means I can’t learn new tricks, and maybe it’s time for me to retire. I’ll tell you what. Just come around here when everyone else is sleeping, and I’ll show you a few new tricks I bet you haven’t seen before. And that spells T E E T H. And as for retiring? Not sure what that means, except that I’m not tired to begin with.
Bailey Daily (Christensen) rushes to a closed diner in the pouring rain. She’s wearing a soaked wedding gown and has three dogs in tow. For the record, there’s not a German Shepherd in the bunch. The couple who own the diner decide to let her in, because they figure there must be a great story behind that image. Boy, were they wrong. What we get is a reenactment of how she dated and dumped three guys only to end up with their dogs. The last one she left at the altar, which explains the wedding dress. Looks like she got the better end of those relationship deals. We get the bad end of the deal, because we have to listen to those stories which are played out in sappy drama and poor acting.
The story starts with Bailey buying her first house and wishing she had a dog to share it with. Sounds like a solid plan. We’re also not so bad for security. She’s a high school English teacher with a best friend who teaches French. Fortunately, that didn’t mean there was going to be a poodle in the mix. Of course, she tells us how dogs give unconditional love to you and don’t judge. Of course, that’s all true, but take it from Baby, you don’t want to take any chances. So I’d keep those treats and belly rubs coming… you know, just to be on the safe side.
We watch as Bailey goes through three terrible guys while ignoring a good one the whole time. If you consider that a spoiler, you really don’t watch a lot of movies. The vignettes are intended to show how sweet and hopeful she is, but she just comes across as pretty desperate. Meanwhile every guy she sees is slobbering all over her. Trust me. That last part works out better with dogs than it does for humans. Each of the three guys is played by an actor worse than the one before. Even I can tell when it looks like somebody’s just reading their lines.
Gino calls this kind of a movie a chick flick. I’m not sure I understand that one. Birds don’t really like us dogs very much. It might have something to do with the whole chasing and trying to kill them stuff we do. I can’t see them flocking to a dog movie. I don’t really know who might like this movie. I’m sure that people worked really hard on it. The dogs are cute and worth a couple minutes of your time. But that’s all this film has to offer anyone, canine or human. “It’s really sad, isn’t it?”
