There are definitely notes of the bard in this film. Adopting the star-crossed lovers’ motif, Lovelines hinges on the rivalry that peaked at an annual Battle of the Bands contest, where Rick (Greg Bradford), the lead singer of the rock band Racer, fell for Piper (Mary Beth Evans), the frontwoman for the rival group The Firecats. To keep their forbidden romance alive against the wishes of friends, rival musicians, and Piper’s massive, protective brother, the pair relied on “Lovelines”. This specialized local dial-in telephone party line served as a 1980s analog precursor to modern internet dating. As I met my wife via modern internet dating, I was intrigued by the premise, which highlighted this old school predecessor, and its use as a covert communication mechanism for the lead characters. There weren’t a lot of recognizable faces for me in this one or remarkable performances, outside of Miguel Ferrer who played a punk rocker named Dragon. However, on the plus side, the film does feature a prank war, and I do love a good prank war.
“They’re the two hottest tickets in a red-hot Battle of the Bands … and now they’ve got the hots for each other.”
Two rival high schools, Malibu High School and Coldwater Canyon High, have two popular bands; The Firecats and Racer. When the lead singers of both bands, Piper and Rick, meet, they fall for each other, but realities like peer pressure, school rivalry, and Piper’s older brother, Godzilla (Frank Zagarino), impede their relationship. A telephone service called Lovelines, run by J.D. Prescott (Michael Winslow), helps the pair stay connected in secret while also sponsoring the annual Battle of the Bands where their bands will compete with each other.
Shakespeare was almost certainly an inspiration for the film, as the relationship between Piper and Rick is clearly a punk rock spin on his most famous tale. However, the central romance felt flat. I found Greg Bradford (who I didn’t really buy as a teenager) lacking in the charisma department, which was really necessary to sell the romance. In regards to Mary Beth Evans, I spent more of my mental capacity trying to figure out where I recognized her from than anything else. So needless to say, I wasn’t really invested in their dynamic, which is a central anchor point for the story. I did enjoy Winslow’s J.D. Prescott’s antics as the hyperactive operator of the Lovelines phone service, such as the sound effects and impressions.
The movie came down to the pranks for me. As I say, I love a good prank war, and the film delivered on several over-the-top gags, such as the locker-room flood, where the students of Coldwater Canyon rig the plumbing to completely flood the locker room with foam and water. There was also the classic, albeit a bit of a trope, car dismantling prank, where students completely disassemble Godzilla’s car piece by piece and rebuild it inside the high school hallway. There is another prank that unfolds during the Battle of the Bands musical finale, but then again given the intent behind it, I suppose that one could be considered more of an act of sabotage. All in all, I enjoyed this recurring theme of the movie most of all.
If it weren’t for the gags, I don’t believe this film would have held my attention. The film needed better chemistry between its leads and a better integration between the main plot and subplots. As it was the story at times felt disjointed with pranks and romance along with the Lovelines service lacking cohesion with one another. Integrating the service into the actual mechanics of the pranks or the romance, possibly using it for anonymous setups, misdirection, and comedic misunderstandings, could have added a unique narrative perspective.
