Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on March 25th, 2010
If you are a regular reader here, you know I'm not much for the romantic comedy department. I tried to pass this one off on the rest of the staff but couldn't find a taker. We finally got a woman to review this stuff, but not even she was enthused enough about this title to take it on. This experience is pretty typical when it comes to Did You Hear About The Morgans. With a $58 million budget and a $30 million gross at the box office, it would seem that a lot of folks took a pass on the movie. In less than 4 weeks it dropped from nearly 3000 screens across the fruited plain to just about 500. We're not talking about an unknown cast here. The real mystery is, why did such an impressive cast take this movie on? Hugh Grant is pretty well known, if not for his movies, then for his back seat antics with a hooker. So, his judgment should already be in question. I mean, who would give up Elizabeth Hurley for a 20 dollar hooker? Sarah Jessica Parker has been riding pretty high on her Sex In The City fame. Perhaps she was just trying to solidify a romantic comedy image here. Both made horrible choices here, and neither generated a character worth caring about. What's worse, the two share no chemistry and even a devout romantic comedy avoider like me knows enough to understand that the two most important elements in the genre are chemistry and characters that you feel something for.
Paul and Meryl (Grant & Parker) are a married couple who have been separated for three years because Paul had an affair. Both are highly successful in their chosen fields. Paul is the senior partner in a prestigious law firm and Meryl runs a very elite real estate agency. Paul wants to patch things up, but Meryl is not so sure. So the two agree to meet for a date and see if they can talk about their situation. The dinner date doesn't go very well and is completely ruined when the two witness the murder of a man who was about to turn state's evidence. Now their relationship issues are the least of their problems. The killer knows who they are (Meryl's picture is pasted everywhere from billboards to bus stations) and he's not about to let them testify against him. Enter the Witness Protection Program. The two are given new names (The Fosters) and sent to rural Ray, Wyoming where the local sheriff happens to be a Federal Marshall who has experience protecting witnesses. Marshall Clay Wheeler (Elliott) and his wife Emma (Steenburgen) are simple folk who live miles from civilization, making their home the perfect place to hide the couple. Now forced together, the two have to deal with their relationship issues to save their own lives. You know the killer's going to track them down, and through the carelessness of the couple's two personal assistants and Meryl's inability to stay off the phone, he tracks them down.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on March 25th, 2010
"It killed 102 people, brutally mauling its human prey. Its victims are all women and children. The worst attack by an unknown beast in history; and, the basis for the legend of the werewolf. Two investigators set out to solve the mystery. Applying modern day forensics, they hunt to uncover the real wolf man."
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on March 24th, 2010
"If the glass is half empty, at least you can't drown."
When I looked at the title and description of this film I couldn't help but think of that Jimmy Stewart classic It's A Wonderful Life. I'm not sure if it is the close title or the idea of a cynical man finding some kind of epiphany about his life and how he interacts with others. So, maybe it was that connection and inevitable comparison and expectation that caused me to dislike this film as much as I did. It's not fair, you might say, but it is the filmmakers themselves who invite this comparison and apparently welcome it. I'm sure the idea was that it would bring in that particularly large audience of viewers. Unfortunately, it was more of an anchor providing a standard that Wonderful World simply can't meet. But let's forget the comparisons for a moment. This is still a pretty bad film. It made its run of the film festival circuit for a time and even managed a very limited American box office run which barely grossed nine grand in total.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on March 18th, 2010
It's back to the 1950's with its telltale alien invasion science fiction matinees. There's Doo Wop coming out of the radio. The cars have tail fins and plenty of color and chrome. That's right. This is 1950's Americana. Well ... almost. You see, the alien invaders are humaniacs. They turn the helpless population into mind-controlled zombies, and they eat brains for breakfast. Those sure are the classic cars, all right. But they're rounded, and instead of wheels they ride on a cushion of air. And then there's the "people". They're green. They have tentacles for hair. And they have only 4 fingers and toes on each hand or foot. Can anyone say, "Give me a high four"?
Meet Lem (Long). He's your typical 1950's teen. His biggest worry is how will he impress Neera (Biel), the girl of his dreams? He holds down a job proudly at the local museum and planetarium, where he teaches that the universe is nearly 500 miles across, containing 1000 stars. Wow! He doesn't have time for the fantastic movies and comics that depict humaniac invasions. His friend Skiff (Scott), on the other hand, reads and watches them all. He's quite well versed in the topic of alien invasion. He's convinced that "they" are coming, if they're not already here, that is. For these innocent and peaceful folks, the nightmare scenario that they've feared their entire lives is about to come true. An alien has invaded!
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on March 17th, 2010
"There's two kinds of people in this world when you boil it all down. You've got your talkers and you've got your doers. Most people are just talkers. All they got is talk. But, when all is said and done, it's the doers who change the world. And, when they do that, they change us. And, that's why we never forget them."
And while The Boondock Saints never did bring in box office gold (heck, it didn't even bring in Box Office aluminum) like the characters in the film, they were not forgotten. There were conventions and local film festival showings that brought out untold thousands to share the movie experience. It became what we commonly call today a cult hit. But that's a term of endearment used by critics and fans to describe this kind of grass roots fan base. Unfortunately, it's a dirty word in Hollywood. No one in the studio highchairs wants to produce a cult film. Well, no one except maybe Troy Duffy.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on March 17th, 2010
While Scarecrow And Mrs. King first aired in 1983, this show is really one of the last of the 1970's crime dramas. It was an early attempt to bring in more of the female audiences that seemed reluctant to join the popular detective shows of the era. While not really a "detective" show (they were spies), it employed a lot of the 1970's conventions. Even the film footage has that distinct style from those days and type of shows. The idea worked, and the series did bring in a sizeable female audience, but it never really caught on with the guy crowd who found it a bit too relationship-heavy. The two leads were chosen less for their character appeal than for their apparent "easy on the eyes" look. Again more fodder for the chick crowd. The show was always rather lighthearted, even if the material was somewhat serious cold war espionage. The two shared a banter that revealed a kind of love/hate relationship and the expected sexual tension that would eventually lead to the two getting hitched. And while the series only lasted four seasons, the formula would end up being tweaked to bring us the more successful Moonlighting with Bruce Willis and Cybill Shepherd, which took the idea more into the 80's with slicker production values but still a mainly female appeal.
Amanda King (Jackson) was a recent divorcée with two sons and a nosy mother (Garland) who lived with her. She has a boyfriend named Dean who works as a meteorologist at a local Washington DC television station, whom you never actually get to see. While at the train station, she suddenly finds herself embroiled in an espionage plot when a package is handed to her on the platform. Then she meets government agent Lee Stetson (Boxleitner) who works under the codename: Scarecrow. She's intrigued by Scarecrow and agrees to help him in his current case. Of course, she ends up in a more permanent role with "The Agency", taking a job at their cover corporation The International Federal Film Company. Every week we find Amanda trying to balance her new role as a spy with trying to raise her kids, have a normal dating relationship, and keep her cover safe from her particularly prying mother. The results are often quite funny. There is also Scarecrow's partner, Francine (Smith) who is somewhat jealous of Amanda and Lee.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on March 16th, 2010
If any studio out there knows princesses, it has to be Disney. Uncle Walt has brought us so many memorably magical moments in the realms of fairy godmothers and the rags to riches tradition. A list of such Disney characters would serve as a rather complete roll call of such familiar animated ladies: Snow White, Cinderella, Ariel, Sleeping Beauty, Jasmine, and now you can add yet another name to the growing list. The studio that invented the animated fairy tale returns to its hand-drawn animation roots with The Princess And The Frog.
When Pixar finally landed permanently at Disney, no one was more excited than I was. It seemed somehow quite fitting that the studio that invented the animation feature should now take the lead with the company that invented the computer animated feature. It was a match made in heaven, or at least Neverland. But, I was as shocked and dismayed as many fans of the medium when Disney made a rather abrupt decision to close down its hand-drawn animation studios. There was plenty of rancor from the move and more than a few talented artists suddenly without jobs. It appeared that the Mouse House had traded one legacy in to acquire another. And so it looked as if we would never again see the wonderful marvels of a hand-drawn Walt Disney creation. Ah, but we all forgot. Disney is in the fairy tale business, after all. And like every good story, just as it looks like the villain has triumphed and all hope is gone, a white horse bearing a hero can never be far behind.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on March 16th, 2010
I'm sure that somewhere inside of Jared Hess's mind all of this makes perfect sense. I get the feeling that after he completed Gentlemen Broncos the writer/director/producer sat down to a screening with a group of his friends and the congregation rolled in the aisles with laughter. I'm equally sure that when his friends went home they were left scratching their heads. Somewhere in Hollywood a corner drugstore made a killing in aspirin or something stronger. In his own private world, where they all get the joke, Gentlemen Broncos might not be so bad. As for this reviewer, it was perhaps one of the worst films I've ever had the displeasure of watching. I'm putting in for hazard pay on this one, guys. This film will subject you to images that you'll pay good money not to have in your heads. Once again, a payday for the drugstores who likely made about as much off this movie as the film produced at its limited box office run. For anyone out there ready to accuse me of "not getting it" or some such defense of "your" movie. Look at the film's gross take of $113,000 against a $10 million budget and talk to me then.
Benjamin (Angarano) is a young awkward boy who likes to write fantasy stories. He's socially inept, helped in no small part in his problems by a neurotic mother who babies him and designs incredibly bad nightgowns. She ends up sending him to a writers’ camp where he gets to meet his idol, writer and illustrator Chevalier (Clement) who is really quite too full of himself to be believed. Chevalier is out of ideas, and he's about to get dropped by his agent if he doesn't come up with something good, and soon. When Benjamin submits his story Yeast Wars: The Bronco Years to a writing contest at the camp, Chevalier decides this is just the story he's looking for. He changes a few names and submits the story as his own. Meanwhile Benjamin has sold the film rights to his story to amateur filmmaking couple Tabitha (Feiffer) and Lonnie (Jimenez) who turn it into a gay space opera with incredibly poor filmmaking. The stuff is about to hit the fan as the two versions of the story are about to collide with Benjamin in the middle of it all.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on March 15th, 2010
I have to admit that I approached Old Dogs as cautiously as I'd approach a rabid junkyard dog. With a story that sounds like another retelling of Three Men And A Baby and the setup, and director, of Disney's Wild Hogs, it seemed pretty apparent that this film was not going to offer anything terribly new or exciting. When I started watching the film I discovered that I was pretty much right. This is very much Three Men And A Baby meets Wild Hogs. More importantly, I was also correct in believing the film wouldn't offer up anything all that original or new. What I didn't expect, and what will make this a film worth watching for you anyway, is that the delivery here is actually pretty special.
The story itself couldn't be any more contrived. Charlie (Travolta) and Dan (Williams) have been best friends and business partners for over 30 years. They run a sports marketing firm and have done pretty well, even if they're not the millionaires they always hoped they would be. They are the kind of Bromance couple that are always there for each other. In a story that Dan likes to tell clients to "break the ice", we learn that 7 years earlier Dan got divorced and it nearly tore him apart. Charlie pestered him into taking a carefree Florida vacation where a one night stand led to a quickie marriage and annulment as well as an embarrassing tattoo, which was supposed to shout “Free Man” across his hairy chest, but due to a mixup in translation with the tattoo artist says “Freemont” instead. Now the boys are on the verge of a $47 million deal with a huge Japanese company that will finally get them the riches they've been seeking. Feeling on a bit of a high, Dan decides to set up a meet with Vicki (Preston) to see if he can fan the old romance flames once more. He gets more than he expected, however. Vicki has twins, Zach (Rayburn) and Emily (Travolta) and, predictably, they are Dan's. Coincidentally, Vicki is about to serve 2 weeks in jail for a political activism stunt, and Dan ends up crushing the hands of her hand model friend, who just so happens to have been her babysitter for her time in stir. Dan, feeling suddenly fatherly, agrees to take the kids in an attempt to bond with his newly discovered family. The rest is pretty much what you would expect. Dan and "Uncle" Charlie try to seal the big deal and learn to care for the kids with the usual hijinks and comedic results. Because this is, after all, a Disney film, we know that the movie is going to end with one of those warm life lessons and everything is going to work out fine. Who does storybook endings better, right?
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on March 15th, 2010
I’ve been a fan of South Park ever since a friend introduced me to the internet Christmas card that started it all. It was Santa versus Jesus and these short potty-mouthed kids that somehow wormed their way under your skin. Pretty soon I was downloading the episodes and watching them on my computer. For some reason I can’t quite explain, I’ve very rarely watched an episode on Comedy Central. By the time things were getting tighter and riskier downloading the shorts, the single disc, 4 episode DVDs began to arrive in stores. So my South Park viewing moved from the PC to the DVD player. In a short time season sets began to arrive, and I looked forward to them with much anticipation, still watching it infrequently on television. After all, who needs the commercials and those silly network bugs that distract you on the screen? The series itself evolved in that time. The show was once achieved through a stop motion process using construction paper cutouts. The animation was crude. After the Christmas card, the characters were significantly redesigned. They had a very evil look on that short. The first couple of episodes brought us an evolution toward the characters we know and love today. After a while the animation went to a computer process. The look remained the same, but gone were the paper cuts and stop motion photography. As the show progressed there were less and less bleeps. It’s not that the language got any tamer. Standards got a little looser. Finally the bleeps would disappear from at least the DVD releases. And now South Park has crossed another milestone. Welcome to Blu-ray and high definition, South Park.
I often have trouble believing that South Park has been around for as long as it has. It’s not just the passing of 13 years, but the sheer brilliance in the face of an increasingly politically correct society. It’s like watching old episodes of All In The Family. Who believes that Archie Bunker would have any chance of survival in the 21st Century? It’s no wonder that Norman Lear has become involved in the series. It’s the last remaining vestige of a once great freedom to be ridiculous and offend. Eric Cartman’s a lot worse than Archie ever was. We always knew that, in his heart, Archie had a soul. Cartman’s a psychopath without a conscience, and in a civilized society we would be terrified of the existence of such a demon spawn…except he’s just so dang funny. Trey Parker and Matt Stone have been walking a tightrope for over 13 years now, and it just doesn’t get old. One of the reasons the show doesn’t grow stale is their ability to make such a quick turnaround on current events. Because the show takes literally days to write and produce, they are quite often always the first to address an issue. They had an election night episode on literally the next day in last season. That means the ideas stay as fresh as the headlines. Finally, you have to credit the expanding universe of good characters. The core group of Cartman, Stan, Kyle, and Kenny were great for a lot of years. But, watching this 13th season you have to admire how much Butters has infused himself into that core. We also have such great semi-regulars as Timmy, Jimmy, and Token. These characters allow the stories to expand in ways the core group could not. I’ve honestly come to think of Butters as one of the core now.
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