Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on November 30th, 2009
“On the 15th of May, in the jungle of Nool, in the heat of the day, in the cool of the pool. He was splashing enjoying the jungle’s great joys, when Horton, the Elephant, heard a small noise. Then he heard it again, just a very faint yelp, as if some tiny person were calling for help…”
If you’re like me, you remember the Dr. Seuss specials from the 1960’s. At this time of the year, The Grinch comes first to mind. In that wonderful span of cartoon specials was the story of the elephant Horton, who hears voices coming from a speck he carries around on a flower. The story revolves around Horton’s attempts to protect the very tiny town of Whoville which exists on that speck. None of his friends believe him, just as none of the Whoville scientist’s friends believe that he has spoken to a giant elephant in the sky. Before long the story plays out, and we all remember the moral that a person’s a person, no matter how small. That Chuck Jones effort is a dear memory for most of us from that generation.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on November 30th, 2009
My One And Only is based on a George Hamilton autobiographical story. It’s probably a tale that his fans know well. It wasn’t one I was at all aware of. The screenplay was written by Charlie Peters. Hamilton himself is a producer on the film, so we can assume that the story unfolds in much the same way he intended. Like most autobiographical pieces, it has a limited audience. Fans of the subject are certainly going to be quite interested. Others who consider the subject of some note might also have an interest in the material. Unfortunately, it’s like watching vacation or baby slides. After some time you can get lost and bored watching the high or low points in someone else’s life. This is just that kind of experience.
Anne (Zellweger) comes back early from a trip to find her husband, big band leader Dan (Bacon) in bed with another woman. She immediately decides to leave him and take their sons George (Lerman) and Robbie (Rendall) on the road to find herself a new husband. Anne is the typical southern aristocrat and believes she needs to find someone to give her the good life she has become accustomed to. Their first stop is Boston where she runs into old flame Wallace (Weber) who just wants to borrow money because his business is failing. Next she gets engaged to military man Harlan (Noth) who just wants a family so that he can be a “top dog”. Next it’s on to Pittsburg, and it’s Oliver and Charlie. Next stop St. Louis and a paint store magnate who’s crazy as a loon. Finally, it’s California to give Robbie a chance to be an actor. Along the way the family learns about themselves and the man they left behind. They finally settle in California where it’s George who ends up with the acting career.
Posted in: No Huddle Reviews by Gino Sassani on November 30th, 2009
The day that most of us in the home video review business has been dreading has finally arrived. Anchor Bay has sent me my first Blu-ray screener. For those who might not know, a screener is a disc given to guys like me to write a review of the given film or television series. Unlike what we call Final Product, the disc often comes in a sleeve with no case or box art. The disc itself is usually does not include graphics, containing merely the name of the film and possibly the studio. The contents might or might not reflect what you, the consumer will get should you decide to purchase the disc. DVD screeners have often been single layer DVD-R copies, which look far worse than what the Final Product might look and sound like. Often the name of the studio and something like “property of” appears anywhere from constantly to every few minutes in the viewing area of the film. In the case of this Blu-ray screener, it appears that the contents could well be what the consumer will see, but lacking an actual consumer disc, I just can’t be sure. In the past, we here at Upcomingdiscs simply declined to review these types of releases. When I took over in December, I decided to include the titles, but avoid reviewing all of the aspects of the disc that we simply can’t be sure about. Thus was born the No Huddle review.
Now, these screeners are used for any number of reasons. The most common seems to be a worry that a reviewer might make copies of the film and try and sell or release the film in some way. Since we often get titles up to weeks before they street at your local video store, there is concern that we might “beat them to the punch” so to speak. Other reasons could involve expense and the amount of confidence the studio has in the release itself. Up until now, Blu-rays have been exempt from this process. The expense of making a limited run Blu-ray isn’t very economical, and the piracy worries are, for the moment, alleviated by the fact that no one has yet broken a Blu-ray to pirate. Whatever the reason, it’s a sad day for us in the business, one that we hope will not become some industry standard. I know it might sound a lot like just some ingrate complaining that he didn’t get a good enough freebie, but it really takes away our ability to adequately inform you about the quality of a release. We’ve always taken pride here at Upcomingdiscs to provide you with the most complete information we can about a given release. A screener simply makes it impossible. So, excuse the long “inside baseball” explanation. So, what about this particular film?
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on November 24th, 2009
“You got everything money can buy, except what it can’t. It’s pride. Pride is what got you here. Losing is what brung you back. But, people like you, they need to be tested. They need a challenge.”
There have been a ton of boxing films. They’ve been popular going back to the Silent Era. Most of them have many of the same themes. But there was always something about Rocky that stood out above all of the rest. That “something” can’t really be described or defined. As the Supreme Court once said about the definition of obscenity: “I can’t define it, but I know it when I see it.” That’s all you can say about Rocky. Some might call it heart. That’s about as good a word for it as anything else. Rocky himself would call it “stuff in the basement”. It almost demeans it to put a word on it at all. Whatever you call it, you don’t necessarily see it in Rocky … you feel it.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on November 24th, 2009
Do you know what’s worse than watching a bad movie? It has to be watching three bad movies. Worse than that is watching three bad movies where it’s obvious to everyone involved in the films that they know they’re bad movies. It doesn’t take long until you begin to think that you’re the one everyone is really laughing about. You can picture a couple members of the cast sitting with the director all laughing their rear ends off at the poor rube who actually spends good money, and more importantly, their time, watching the piece of crap you just dropped into their DVD or Blu-ray player. It’ll take forever to get that stink out of my home theater.
Lately there has been a push to avoid crowds. There’s the whole H1N1 scare out there. Even the Vice-President says he wouldn’t be caught out in a crowd for nothing right now. Way to give us confidence there, Joe. If you too are afraid of crowds, going to a Kevin Smith film is the surest way to avoid them. I have been told by a few, and I do mean very few, Kevin Smith fans I’ve talked to that it’s not at all that the films suck. The problem, so they say, is that I just don’t get it. The idea is that Smith is some kind of artistic genius and a pedestrian reviewer like myself just doesn’t have the sophistication to understand his superior humor. I know that people like Smith likely believe it’s true. But, if I’m the one who just doesn’t get it, I’m not alone. The only folks who are alone are the unfortunate saps that went to see these films at the box office. The numbers don’t lie. These films fared horribly, and that’s being generous. The second Smithite argument is that, while the box office results were indeed pitiful, the films themselves were very low budget, so they did make more than they cost. Another bogus argument. No budget films have taken the world by storm. Look at the recent success of Paranormal Activity. That film cost less than any of these movies, a modest $15,000, and has raked in nearly a $150 million in box. Clerks pulled in just over $3 million. Chasing Amy just about $12 million. Jay And Silent Bob Strike Back broke the bank at just about $30 million. None of the films broke the top 100 for the year in which they were released. Yeah, I don’t get it. Apparently, a lot of people don’t get it.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on November 19th, 2009
When we left J.D., Turk, and the rest of the staff of Sacred Heart Hospital at the end of their seventh season, there were good reasons to believe we had seen the last of Scrubs:
1) The show had suffered the lowest ratings in its history.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on November 19th, 2009
“It’s almost Christmas. Get into the spirit.”
Ever wonder what the kids of South Park might be like if they ever made it to adulthood? While I’ve not seen that many episodes of the FX series It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia, that was the first observation that came to mind. These are the South Park kids all grown up. They’re crude, raunchy, mean, and most importantly, they are as politically incorrect as ever. If you need an example, I can offer one right from this episode. The guys have a Christmas tradition that dates back to their childhood of throwing rocks at moving trains. An episode I caught a while back had two of the guys going to an abortion rally because they suspected that pro-choice chicks gotta be easy. Sound like anyone we know? If you love irreverent humor that’s not afraid to cross over the line, this F/X series has everything you’re looking for and without those silly construction paper animation limitations. These are real dudes.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on November 18th, 2009
“Sometime in the 23rd Century the survivors of war, overpopulation, and pollution are living in a great domed city, sealed away from the forgotten world outside. Here in an ecologically balanced world, mankind lives only for pleasure, freed by the servo-mechanisms which provide everything. There’s just one catch. Life must end at thirty unless reborn in the fiery ritual of Carousel.”
Logan’s Run started life as a pretty successful novel by William F. Nolan and George Clayton Johnson. The source material was really quite dark and more like Ridley Scott’s Bladerunner than the 1976 film based on the work. For some reason it was decided that this dark reflection of the future wasn’t as marketable. So, the decision was made to make this a very bright film with only hints at the nefarious realities of this future world.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on November 17th, 2009
All aboard. The midnight train bound for Hell and parts unknown is now boarding, with brief stops in Hostel, Saw, and Turistas by way of the Terror Train line, we welcome you aboard. For your riding pleasure you’ll be entertained along the way by a group of college wrestlers who have just become unofficial organ donors, if you know what I mean. They’re just dying to make this ride as enjoyable as possible. There’s plenty of blood and gore for your riding comfort. Sit back and enjoy the fine Bulgarian countryside. Out of courtesy for your fellow travelers please turn off all cell phones for the duration of your voyage. There’s a pause button located conveniently on your remote control should you require an unscheduled stop. Please place food trays and any additional spare body parts you’ve brought with you securely under your seats. Should your film stop suddenly or begin to act in an erratic manner, try pushing buttons on your remote in a furious and random fashion. It won’t actually help, but studies have shown it will limit your discomfort and feeling of helplessness. Our estimated travel time is 94 minutes. Finally, please remember not to cover the ventilation slots of your equipment with the empty DVD case while the film is in motion.
The Indiana wrestling team is on an Eastern Europe tournament tour. Unfortunately, they’re not doing so well on the mats. When five of the players decide to break curfew and spend the night partying and brawling, they miss the train out to the next stop on the tour. The rest of the team has gone on ahead, and the coach has to buy tickets on an independent railway to get the five tardy players to the next stop. It looks like the five party animals weren’t the only ones making bad choices. Coach has booked his stragglers on a train ride to Hell. You know immediately that these aren’t the sharpest tools in the shed when they willingly give up their passports on the train to two pretty gnarly looking guys who claim they’ll keep them safe from thieves. Looks like another case of college co-eds with an average IQ somewhere south of Beavis and Butthead. Now they’re going to be taken on the ride of their lives … a very short ride at that. Nothing like a little clickety clack to go along with those screams and gurgles. This train has everything: food, booze, gambling, and fun with sharp objects as Dr. Velislava (Ruseva) runs a black market organ shop on rails.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on November 13th, 2009
“In the 1940’s, a new genre – film noir – emerged from the world of hard boiled pulp magazines, paperback thrillers and sensational crime movies. These films, tough and unsentimental, depicted a black and white universe at once brutal, erotic, and morally ambiguous.”
And so Sony collects 5 of these films as part of what looks like is going to be an ongoing series. But what exactly is film noir? You hear the word used from time to time, but what does it mean?
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