Posts by Gino Sassani

Hannibal Lechter is running the show, and even if it is his alter-ego Sir Anthony Hopkins who�s at the wheel of this ride, it could just as easily have been Hannibal the Cannibal pulling the strings. Hopkins is a literal one man show. He wrote, directed, composed the score, and starred in this abysmally horrible film. I wouldn�t be surprised if he pitched in on a couple of coats of paint here and there as well. One man ego driven artistic films are often messy, but Slipstream goes far beyond messy. It�s an impossible film to watch. By the time it was over my head hurt so bad I thought I�d just been beaten over the skull with a two by four for the entire hour and a half. Some will call it art and praise it, either because of the respect Hopkins carries, or because they�re simply too afraid to admit they hated it. If you say you loved this film, you�re lying. The entire running time is nothing but a merciless assault of disconnected images, erratic cuts (as many as dozens in a minute), endless chatter, and an overindulgence of cinematic style over substance. The film makes David Lynch look tame by comparison.

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Meerkat Manor is back for a third season on DVD. You’re invited back into the South African desert with the famous Whiskers Clan. Animal Planet has themselves a relatively big hit here with Meerkat Manor. OK, so, it’s not exactly The Sopranos or The Shield, but it does have a modestly dedicated audience. Seems that folks just can’t get enough of these fur balls. They’ve set up blogs and websites dedicated to the antics of the celebrated Whiskers. If you, like them and are dying to see what these lil’ guys are up to next, wait no longer. Fast on the heels of the prequel film, The Story Begins, Meerkat Manor is here again. Of course, all of this is strictly in the interest of scientific study. Sure it is! Don’t worry, I won’t tell a soul.

 

There was a new Cowboy in Dallas, and he wasn’t throwing touchdown passes. But Walker was almost gone before he could really get started. After just four episodes the show’s production company suffered financial collapse, and the show was rescued at the last minute by CBS Productions, who would continue to run the show for its nearly decade-long run. For nine years Norris brought us the ultimate Texas Ranger in a formula cops and robbers show. The show often became a parody of itself, but maintained a solid viewer ship throughout. Hell, Norris even sings the theme song. Truthfully, what started as a one man show (it was originally called Chuck Norris Is Walker, Texas Ranger became a good working ensemble that probably kept the train going for so long. Walker (Norris) is a tough guy Texas Ranger. He is partnered with Sydney Cooke (Peebles) and Jimmy Trivetti (Gilyard) who’s an ex-jock with a brain. Walker had a love interest and eventual wife in the local assistant district attorney Alex Cahill (later Walker). Together they fight the evils that come to the high plains of Texas armed with their fists, six-shooters, and Stetsons. After starting with the final season, CBS is finally halfway through the series back from the beginning.

Norris almost deadpans his entire performance. Let’s face it, the man is no accomplished thespian. Still, Norris fans are quite passionate about their guy. There’s a popular tee shirt design that lauds their hero in epic fashion. One of my favorite is : “McGyver can build a plane out of gum and paper clips but Chuck Norris can kill him and take the plane.”  Another brags: “Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris Pajamas”. And there’s the humorous: “Chuck Norris knows what Willis is talkin’ about”. Fans of Norris were never disappointed in what they got here. The requisite martial arts and tough guy talk are present pretty much in every episode. Season five is no exception. You should also note if you’re using an episode guide: this is really season 6, as the first two were combined in the first season release. The series had its share of heartstring episodes, most notably the two part story, Lucas. Here Walker helps a young boy with AIDS find his mother and go on to become an AIDS awareness icon.  There’s another old west tale of Hayes Cooper in Last Of A Breed. Walker entertains some kids with another tale of his legendary forefather. It’s another two part episode and takes place in the old west. If you just want some good old Walker butt kicking, you won’t have to wander far. Walker kicks butt to protect some orphan kids in Small Blessings. In Warriors, Walker goes up against a group attempting to build genetically altered “super soldiers”. The season ends on a powerful cliffhanger. In The Wedding, Alex is shot and clinging to life while Walker sets out to find the shooter. That brings to mind one more of those Norrisisms: “Chuck Norris’s chief export is pain”. Ouch!

<>Imagine waking up one morning to find a newspaper on your front porch. Here in Tampa, the fact that the paper is actually on your front porch is miracle enough. Imagine further that this ordinary looking paper isn’t today’s paper at all, but rather tomorrow’s edition. If you could trust that what you held was the genuine article, so to speak, just think of the possibilities. For most of us our thoughts turn to the myriad ways in which we could enrich ourselves: sports scores, lottery numbers, even stock tips.<> If, however, you’re less selfish, there is an equally endless number of ways in which you could help your fellow man, or woman as the case may be. You would have advance knowledge of tragic accidents, crimes, and other unfortunate events about to befall your fellow human travelers. That’s the essence of Early Edition.

 

Resurrecting The Champ claims to be “inspired” by a true story written by J.R. Moehringer for the Los Angeles Times Magazine. I’m not very well versed in the original story, so I won’t bore you with any attempt to justify the film against actual events. I only hope that the real Moehringer wasn’t a tenth the idiot that Erik is in this film. Perhaps so close on the heels of the Tomase Spygate fiasco it’s not as hard to believe that a reporter could be this gullible.

 

Because I was fairly certain I would be asked to review this second season of Jericho, I did not watch any of the episodes as they aired. With the writer’s strike many shows were going through problems, and I guess I wanted to see how it all shook loose. So, I watched very little of anything from the networks for fear of being stranded in the middle of a compelling story. Now, before the Jericho fans out there devise any plans to have me roasted along with their next batch of nuts, let me assure you I am not a monitored watcher and participated in no survey. They tend to shy away from us critic types. Something about the deodorant we tend to wear, I think. So I had nothing to do with the ultimate demise of your show; in fact, I’ve become a fan.

 

So I find out I’m going to review a film called Meerkat Manor. My research tells me it’s actually a television show on Animal Planet, but I still didn’t know much. Was this some kind of animal version of The Tudors? And what exactly is a meerkat, anyway? The answer to all of these questions arrived one sunny morning via UPS on my front door. I yawned my way to the door and picked up the nondescript package that fell over with a flop as I opened my home to the bright Florida sunshine. “What’s this?” I asked myself. What wonderful adventure would I embark on only to relay the details of my trip to you, the readers of upcomingdiscs.com. I tore open the package and suddenly I was face to face with a real honest to goodness meerkat. Turns out that meerkats are a kind of mongoose that live in the Kalahari in Africa. They have this creepy habit of standing on their hind legs and hanging out. It was a lot like my old neighborhood corner where I grew up. They look like hoods. They watch you with those beady little eyes, all the while looking like they’re trying to figure out who’s got the legs for the third race this afternoon. And I was about to spend some quality time with the meerkats of the hood… I mean manor.

 

The voices aren’t the same. The animation has lost that classic charm. The story is completely contrived. What remains is a dim reflection of a few beloved characters from a bygone year of vintage Disney magic. This sequel of the classic Disney telling of Rudyard Kipling’s The Jungle Book looks more like a direct to video knockoff. I was actually quite amazed to note the film did have a box office run.

The time was that following the death of a good king, England was left without a clear heir to the throne. During the time without a king, England had descended into dark times. Suddenly as if through divine intervention a sword appeared in an anvil of stone. An inscription decreed that whosoever could remove the sword would become king. Think you’ve heard the story before? Well, of course you have. It is none other than the story of King Arthur. Most of us have heard the many stories. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise to anyone that Walt Disney himself was quite taken with the tale. When you consider it it’s about as natural a fit as one can find. Disney’s early works were replete with tales of seemingly ordinary people with extraordinary destinies. From Sleeping Beauty to Cinderella, Walt had put his own touch to many such tales.

 

The man is Richard Kimble and, not surprisingly, the man is tired. Tired of looking over his shoulder, the ready lie of the buses and freight trains. Richard Kimble is tired of running…

The elusive “one armed man” is one of the best known television icons of all time. The plight of Dr. Richard Kimball has been the subject of numerous imitations and even a feature film staring Harrison Ford as Kimball and Tommy Lee Jones as his pursuer. Tim Daly left the ranks of comedy to fill the shoes of Kimball in a very short lived revival series. While some of these efforts managed to capture the essence of The Fugitive, none can truly compare to the real thing.