Posts by Gino Sassani

Anesthetic Awareness is a phenomenon where a surgical patient is completely aware and able to feel pain while under anesthesia. It occurs in about 5 out of every 1000 patients, with about half of those 5 aware enough to feel excruciating pain. Apparently the condition is not readily noticeable by the surgical team and is only discovered through recounts of the experience after the procedure. Patients are often able to tell doctors details of conversations they had while the patient was supposed to be completely out of it. Sounds like a creepy idea for a thriller, doesn’t it? It sure does.

If you are a regular reader here, you know how much I love Ray Harryhausen. Over the years I’ve had the chance to spend many casual hours with him and his wife. They are both extraordinary people, and I’m always amazed at how modest Ray always acts. After over a half century, he still acts surprised that so many people continue to be affected by his work. I was lucky enough to have been invited by Ray personally when he finally received his star on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame. With that said, I’m going to avoid repeating myself and spend less time here talking about Ray. You can see more details of my talks with him and just some great Ray Harryhausen information by looking at my previous reviews.

He might not have been “shootin’ at some food” but for Daniel Plainville it’s all about that “bubblin’ crude. Oil that is. Black Gold. Texas Tea”. Our story begins in 1898 before the world would really become so completely addicted to oil. Plainville is a miner looking for silver when an accident that nearly kills him leads to an even more valuable discovery. The film actually begins quite slowly, which doesn’t exactly bode well for a film over two and a half hours long. It will be 10 minutes and 4 years in film time before we witness the significance of Plainville’s chance discovery. It will be over 14 minutes before the first words of dialog are heard, a sales pitch by Plainville that serves as a near perfect prologue for the events to come.

In 1973 Elton John had his best selling album to that time in the double release Goodbye Yellow Brick Road. From that album came one of the most radio-played non-singles of all time, Funeral For A Friend/Love Lies Bleeding. What does any of this have to do with the Christian Slater direct to video film? Nothing. It has about as much to do with the film as the title itself does. I think someone must have been a closet Elton fan and pulled the title out of thin air, which is about where most of this screenplay must have come from. If you’ve seen Slater’s far better True Romance, then you’ve seen this film. Substitute cocaine for cash, and the story is very much the same. Of course, Tony Scott did it much better. So why would you spend 20 bucks for a cheap knockoff? Good question.

 

Tim Burton, Johnny Depp, Helena Bohnam Carter, and a 1970’s Broadway musical by Stephen Sondheim about a barber with a penchant for truly close, and rather bloody, shaves. With these kinds of ingredients you have a can’t miss recipe for Sweeney Todd, The Demon Barber Of Fleet Street. The finished product is a wickedly clever and most unusual movie experience. Tim Burton’s style blends so seamlessly with the dark humor of the original production. If I had any reservations going into the film it was the casting of Burton’s go to actors Depp and Carter. I had no doubt that either of them could pull off the roles. Depp particularly has become one of the finest actors of our time. His ability to own a part so completely never ceases to amaze me. I was more worried about the rather heavy singing load that the film required. Imagine my surprise to find that Depp was not only up to the task of providing the musical voice of Sweeney Todd, but he managed it with a remarkable amount of skill. His performance provided unexpected vocal nuance to the musical numbers, none of which are particularly easy melodies to sing. To a lesser extent Carter was also quite good in her singing performances. The Sondheim songs take on new life in the hands of Burton. His depiction of London in gothic splendor is vintage Burton. The foggy darkness of the night surrounds a cityscape utterly gritty and atmospheric. There is an almost Charles Dickens reality to the entire film that creates just enough believability to allow the artistic license that is so identified with Burton to become a wonderful playground for a talented group of performers.

Stargate Atlantis went into its third season with a lot to prove. Its companion and older series SG-1 was winding down and preparing to take its show to the longer direct to video path.  Atlantis rose to the challenge and had what was arguably its best season to date. The best decision the show runners could have made was the one to concentrate on their core characters and give us episodes that were obviously intended to help us learn more about them. We meet McKay’s sister and Ronon’s wife and family along the way. We get to witness Sheppard in his alluded to battle in Afghanistan. This is also the year we lose Dr. Beckett, at least in heroic fashion. We all expected that Paul McGillion would turn up on the next Star Trek film as everyone’s favorite starship engineer. It wasn’t through lack of trying and fan support that the film went in another direction, but we will get to see him in some sort of cameo. The Wraith and the Geni are both featured in some strong episodes.

 

The Kite Runner is one of those films that is extremely hard to pin down. On the surface it’s a moving story about friendship and redemption, but I have to wonder if that is really the collection of themes intended by either the original novel’s writer Khaled Hosseini or the film’s director, Marc Foster. The story begins with two young Afghan children who appear to be friends, but they are from different worlds. Hassan (Mahmoodzada) is the son of household servants. Amir (Ebrahimi) is the son of the household’s masters. Yet they appear to share a common bond and fondness for one another. We quickly learn that the friendship is one sided. Hassan pledges that he would do anything for Amir. He vows he would eat dirt if Amir asked, but adds the belief that Amir would never ask him to. Even a look at Amir’s guilt tells us that’s certainly not true. Soon Hassan is approached by bullies and asked to give up a kite he captured and promised to Amir. Rather than break his promise to his friend, he is savagely beaten and sexually molested by the bullies. We are shocked to see that Amir is witness to the entire event and does nothing. To make his sin worse, he decides he can no longer be friends with Hassan because to see him reminds him of his shame, so he accuses the boy of theft. To complete his unconditional loyalty Hassan admits to the fictional theft to allow Amir to save face. Amir eventually flees Afghanistan as the Soviets invade. In America he becomes a successful writer and has nearly put his past behind him until he learns a startling secret about Hassan, now dead at the hands of the Taliban. In an effort to redeem himself, he decides to rescue Hassan’s son from the Taliban.

 

“Are you retarded or something?” is the line that stands out the most for me from Pauly Shore’s latest exercise in idiocy: Natural Born Komics. The idea that anyone on this planet thinks this is remotely funny is in itself extremely scary. The show first emerged on Showtime about a year or so ago and took a long time to find its way to DVD release. It should have taken longer, much longer. Pauly Shore’s act is so manically bad that it takes less than 2 minutes into the film before it has gotten old. The so-called film is really just a collection of bad sketches mixed with some unimaginatively unfunny stand-up. Of course the audience shots depict mostly busty young women, laughing their pants off at Shore’s dull delivery and rather tasteless humor. I suspect there were a couple of tanks of nitrous pumping some happy gas into the venue. It’s the only logical explanation I can find. The skits range from spoofs of Punk’d and Cheaters to “hidden camera” gags that make absolutely no sense at all. There’s even a shameless takeoff on Pacino and Scarface that leaves me wanting to introduce Shore to a couple of my “little friends”. Even the multitude of extras that fill Shore’s “woman in the street” segments look more annoyed than anything else at the antics he’s pulling. Like a little kid aimlessly playing with new toys, Shore acts out with absolutely no direction or focus for the entire blissfully short running time of the film. I’m far from a prude, but Pauly Shore engages in crudeness simply for crudeness’ sake and carries on as if there’s actually an inside joke going on that he’s decided to keep from the audience so that before long at all you really won’t care. He spends far more time bragging about his drug use than actually being funny. Sad!

 

I’m not going to spend any time in this piece telling you about the characters, actors, or plots of the new Stargate direct to DVD film The Ark Of Truth. Honestly, if you are not up to speed you will be totally lost here and have zero chance of even remotely enjoying the ride. For the show’s fans, I think you’ll know exactly what I mean when I say that The Ark Of Truth is basically a perfect extended episode of the series. There is a prelude that provides the “story so far” in flashbacks from the series, but let’s face it, Stargate ran for 10 years and it wasn’t really known for its uncomplicated story threads to begin with. Likely instead of catching you up, the prelude will leave you with even more questions. This is not the place to jump on board the Stargate journey. And no, having seen the original film will do you no good at all. If you find yourself suddenly interested in the franchise, go back and start at the beginning. Trust me, the time will be well spent.

 

Bee Movie is almost completely a Jerry Seinfeld creation. The idea apparently came out of a conversation the comedian had over dinner with Steven Spielberg. From the simple concept of a film about bees called Bee Movie, Seinfeld teamed with his long-term collaborator Spike Feresten. Together they created a rather amusing world where bees can talk and live in a human-like society dedicated to the production of honey. I’ll admit that while I often enjoyed the Seinfeld television series, I was one of those that never really got it. On the surface a lot of it was funny, so I watched it, but I can’t really call myself a true fan of the series or the comedy of Jerry Seinfeld. Pretty much however you might have felt about the show will carry over to Bee Movie. The entire film reflects pure Seinfeld in the characters and his somewhat trademark observations on life. It is that element that might have lessened the overall enjoyment for me. Seinfeld’s bee world is so much like his television or stand-up world that I found it hard to immerse myself into the story. No question there were some clever ideas at work here, but it sure seemed like somewhere along the way someone settled for mediocrity.