Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on March 30th, 2011
Phoenix is having a rough night. Her scumbag ex boyfriend has just shown up in her apartment with a gunshot wound and a sack of stolen cocaine and her psychotic HIV positive prostitute sister has also shown up, having just shot a john in the face. Plus there are gangsters after the cocaine who will stop at nothing to get it back. Plus there’s her lesbian friend downstairs whose brother is involved on multiple levels and wants to drag her into a plot to steal and sell the cocaine. Plus it’s her birthday.
Phoenix is the central character in A Kiss of Chaos, the unfortunately titled offering from Maya Entertainment. She is played with sullen competence by Judy Marte and surrounded by a cast of “where do I know that dude from?” Latino actors in a basic drug/gangster/crime movie that is clearly aspiring to be more. For one, the character of Phoenix is supposed to be an artist of some kind. We know this because there are a couple of flashes of her on a stage in some kind of coffee shop, apparently reading entries from her diary, which, as her lesbian friend tells her, “sound like poems”. We must, however, take this on faith, since the only tidbit we hear is the enticing entry, “November seventh; I’m in love with the wind”. I’m serious.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on March 24th, 2011
"Don't let the love of your life leave you for a damned Gringo. Come and see us, and I guarantee you that we'll save your life. United Parapsychologists Of America. Esoteric jobs, spiritual cleansing, taxes and immigration papers..."
If ever there was a movie that should have fired its marketing department, it's Zombie Farm. If you read any of the descriptions or look at the cover art, you are expecting this to be one of thousands of movies that offer up gritty images, plenty of gore, and a tried and true, but getting tired formula. Nothing can be further from the truth. Zombie Farm isn't any of those things. And I couldn't be happier that that's the case. Don't judge this one by its cover, or you're likely to miss out on a good time.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Michael Durr on March 19th, 2011
Most people know me to be a little bit quirky. *laughter comes from the back of the room*. Okay, very quirky. As to be expected, there are a lot of quirky movies out there for me to watch. But more often than not, most of those movies go way beyond anything I've ever thought was entertaining. Now here I am on the cusp of another review and I get a quirky romantic comedy called Spooner. I just hope that the movie I'm about to watch doesn't involve cutlery and other assorted kitchen gadgets.
Herman Spooner (played by Matthew Lilliard) is a salesman at Manfretti Auto. He's unfortunately not very good at what he does. Dennis & Alice, his father & mother(played by Christopher McDonald and Kate Burton)love him but want him out of the house by the time he turns 30 (which is just a few days away).
Posted in: Disc Reviews by David Annandale on March 14th, 2011
The cover of this DVD is, depending on which signals you pick up on, either misleading or perfectly accurate. If all you see is George Clooney running with a gun, and you therefore come to the conclusion that this is going to be some action-packed thriller, and that is what you're hoping for, then you're going to be disappointed. If, on the other hand, the orange colour and the rather retro look to Cloney's image, not to mention the rather uninformative title, makes you think of the 1970s, then you're on the right track.
Clooney plays the titular American, an intelligence operative whose last job results in rather more bloodshed than it should, and people are clearly after him. Nonetheless, he is given a new assignment, and he takes it. He is to craft a specialized assassination rifle, and he does so while holed up in a hillside Italian village. There he meets a priest and a prostitute, encounters that will alter the course of his life.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on March 9th, 2011
"A child born into a world with helicopters lives in a world where the miraculous is commonplace, a world where doctors swoop down from the sky..."
That's the world of the helicopter. Straight Up: Helicopters In Action was an IMAX feature created by the Smithsonian for the Air And Space Museum IMAX theater. A quick check of the museum's website reveals that the film is no longer part of the schedule. And, while this wasn't one of the bigger name IMAX films to make the circuit, it provides plenty of the exhilarating imagery that has made the format famous.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on March 9th, 2011
I must admit, I came at The Storm Warriors with very little knowledge of its creators, the Pang brothers, but as someone who appreciates Asian cinema, I felt that I had the sensibilities to enjoy the film. The movie deals with a Japanese invasion of China by a dread warlord named Lord Godless. As the film opens, we learn from an almost impossible to follow title sequence, he has captured China’s mightiest heroes and is preparing to execute them. Being invincible, Lord Godless is almost assured of victory, unless two of the aforementioned Chinese heroes, Wind and Cloud, can combine their power to defeat him and his army.
We learn all this and much more in the first two minutes of the movie.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on March 4th, 2011
Scooby Doo has spanned generations and over 40 years. Since the 1960’s the name and conventions have become a part of the pop culture. The original cartoon series had a series of conventions. The Scooby Gang would drive around in their green Mystery Machine van and solve ghostly mysteries. Fans of the show quickly grew to learn that these spirits and goblins were usually just normal people using scare tactics to get revenge or make a profit. The cartoon classic spawned music albums, live action movies, and several new shows and animated features.
The jokes haven’t changed much, even if the voices have. Frank Welker, who voiced Freddie briefly in 1970, returns as Freddie and Scooby Doo. Unfortunately Don Messick died in 1997, and Welker has been voicing the pup since that time and before. Mindy Cohn has been voicing Velma since 2004, replacing a line of actors starting with Nicole Jaffe. What’s important is that Casey Kasem does not return as Shaggy, a part he’s played since 1969. That part now goes to Matthew Lilard. Don't get me wrong, he does a fine job, but this was the most unmistakable voice in the mix up until now. Older fans will notice the change with sadness. Part of me is very glad to see that Scooby and the gang are still out there working for Scooby Snax. The charm remains, even if the jokes don’t appear quite as funny anymore. Daphne is now voiced by Grey Delise. She's done the voice on and off since 2001. Heather North was the original voice and has come back to the role as recently as 2004.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by William O'Donnell on March 3rd, 2011
A criminal defense attorney, played by Matthew Modine, has lost all hope after his family dies in an accident. On the brink of suicide, he is called upon for one more case, defending a young man who may face the death penalty on a murder charge.
The story is established very quickly and though each character resists joining forces for the defense, it only takes about a 30 second scene each to convince them otherwise, and then it is straight into the trial (hence the title I suppose).This quick assembly and ever faster exposition makes the story harder to buy. I understand the film only clocks in a bit faster than an episode of Law and Order, but one wonders if it is all necessary if its going to be so hasty.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by William O'Donnell on March 2nd, 2011
Ok...here's the pitch! A movie that's just jokes! Dirty jokes! Story? Maybe sure sure, but its all about jokes! We all love dirty jokes right? We have some actors act them out...one after the other...and that's it...the whole movie is jokes!
That is the theory behind this film, and almost verbatim the opening scene. A sleazy looking producer wants to help resurrect a Hollywood production company with his idea for a movie that is nothing but a series of dirty jokes, played out one after the other. And this is exactly what we the audience received. Chapterised with portions showing the filmmakers trying to create and ultimately punished for making this film, we see a gaggle of actors, and a LOT of topless women, act out dirty jokes. The film compares itself to The Aristocrats in the sense that it is just jokes for the duration of the film, but the main difference is The Aristocrats is a documentary whereas Dirty Movie is almost meta-cinema in how self-aware it is in its presentation.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by William O'Donnell on February 25th, 2011
A Wild West overlord is plotting to shrink the world's population. This evil plot is running along smoothly until a shrunken Texas ranger escapes in a whiskey bottle and finds himself saved by a plucky sibling duo named Luke and Lucy, along with their gaggle of wacky friends. The group become honourary rangers and set out to battle evil.
The character design, and over the top sense of adventure, are reminiscent of the Tintin series as these characters are based on those that appeared in Belgian comics under the same Herge banner that Tintin shares. Sadly, the CGI animation takes most all the life out of them with rigid movements and very poor lip syncing. Of course, being originally produced in Dutch, one can forgive some of the mismatched dialogue-to-mouths, but some more work could have been done to smooth it out.
