Disc Audio

Kung Fu – The Complete First Season

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on March 30th, 2004

JULES – “That’s what I’ve been sitting here contemplating. First, I’m gonna’ deliver this case to Marsellus. Then, basically, I’m gonna’ walk the earth.”

VINCENT – “What do you mean, walk the earth?”

JULES – “You know, like Caine in KUNG FU. Just walk from town to town, meet people, get in adventures.”

These words, spoken between John Travolta and Samuel L. Jackson in Quentin Tarrantino’s amazing film Pulp Fiction, marked the first time that I ever heard of …
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King of New York

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on March 30th, 2004

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Synopsis

Crime kingpin Christopher Walken is released from prison, and immediately reasserts hiscontrol over the underworld. All sorts of rivals are dispatched messily. He is also at odds withthe police, who are determined to bring him down. Our ganglord isn’t all bad, though: he hasall sorts of impressive community projects in mind.

This last detail is perhaps the most telling point: we are in the realm of full-on fantasy here.Director Abel Ferrara and long-time screenwrite…
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Wild Things 2

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on March 30th, 2004

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Synopsis

Susan Ward, presumably cast because she’s a dead ringer for Denise Richards, is a sad littlerich girl at one of those beachfront high schools populated, to judge from the evidence on hand,by porn stars. In between slow-motion beach volleyball games, her life seems to be falling apart.Her mother died years go in the Louisiana swamp. Her rich stepfather is first threatened by agangster, and is then killed in a plane crash. Not only is Ward’s inheritance pitiful, but queenbitc…
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100 Mile Rule

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on March 29th, 2004

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The 100 Mile Rule, as a corny salesman puts it, means that when you are more than 100 miles from your wife, cheating doesn’t count. It is some kind of moral loophole used by salesmen who travel frequently, allowing them to be unfaithful to their wives. While the phrase is quite original, the film is made up of parts belonging to other movies, a kind of Frankenstein if you will. Not to say that 100 Mile Rule resembles that monster, because it is actually quite enjoyable. However, you will need to get past the m…
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Something’s Gotta Give

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on March 29th, 2004

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Synopsis

Inveterate bachelor Jack Nicholson (playing, essentially, himself) arrives at a beach housewith his latest young conquest, only to run into her mother (Diane Keaton, also play, essentially,herself). Shortly thereafter, Nicholson has a heart attack, and is forced to remain in the Hamptonsunder the reluctant care of Keaton. A bond inevitably grows between them, even as she is beingromanced by the much younger Keanu Reeves.

It says something about our movie-conditioned…
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Devious Beings

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on March 29th, 2004

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Following closely on the heels of Doug Liman’s swift and engaging Go, of which director Mazzei must be a huge fan, Devious Beings follows Jackson (Andre B. Blake), Arrow (Patrick Van Horn), and Casey (Kevin Connolly), three childhood friends who push X for their supplier, Leo (Joseph Sicari). When their buyer, Tiny (Andre Rosey Brown) unexpectedly dies, they make off with the money and the product. However, dealer Damone (Robert Gossett), who was expecting to get the drugs in the deal, decides to get ev…
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Those Magnificent Men in Their Flying Machines

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on March 29th, 2004

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Hot on the heels of The Great Race, Those Magnificent Men In Their Flying Machines was a bit of silliness and fun for 20th Century Fox. The Monty Python-styled opening credits set the tone for this British humor film, also known as How I Flew From London To Paris in 25 Hours and 11 Minutes. If the film suffers at all, it is the length. At almost 2 1/2 hours, it takes quite a while to get to the race. It’s almost 2 hours before the meat of the film begins. While there are many clever and memorable…
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Roxie Hart

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on March 28th, 2004

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Synopsis

Amoral would-be dance star Roxie Hart (Ginger Rogers) is convinced by her agent and areporter to take the blame for a murder. The thinking is that no woman has ever been convictedof murder in Chicago, and the attendant publicity will do wonders for her career. Truer wordswere never spoke, as the cynical dance of lawyers and media begins.

Many readers will, of course, have seen this story recently in the musical Chicago.Here you get the story with none of the …
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Stranded

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on March 28th, 2004

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Synopsis

The first manned mission to Mars goes wrong when the ship crash-lands, damaging itselfbeyond repair. Years will pass before any rescue mission can arrive, so the crew must find waysof surviving on the planet’s surface indefinitely. This will not be easy.

Nor will it be interesting. Though the special effects are pretty good for a lower-budget film,this Spanish effort is so boring, it’s almost a war crime. The dialogue moves beyond merebanality and into the absurd, a…
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High Wind in Jamaica, A

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on March 28th, 2004

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Often, the success of one film in theaters will bring on a wave of classics on DVD with a similar theme. In this case, the new films are Pirates of the Caribbean and Master and Commander. These modern box office successes have prompted 20th Century Fox to release some classic films about the high seas onto DVD. One such film is A High Wind in Jamaica.

There are quite a few problems with this film, but most of them lie within the narrative. The technical aspects are all handled well, wit…
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Gothika

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on March 28th, 2004

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Gothika starts out with tremendous promise. The story appears that it will be more original and rewarding than most horror/thrillers. Halle Berry certainly rises above the usual B-list acting. Even Downey, Jr. seems suspiciously at home in the film’s prison setting. The trouble begins for the audience shortly after it does for Berry. Soon the film begins to get predictable and ordinary. Only the terrific cinematography and convincing atmosphere save the film from sinking to the depths of the many who have gone before…
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Lady Jayne – Killer

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on March 26th, 2004

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It’s funny how little film subgenres evolve over time. For instance, slasher flicks have become a specific part of the realm of horror films. Likewise, teen gross-out movies have evolved within the comedy genre. In the case of Lady Jayne – Killer, the subgenre is the fraternity favorite, girls with guns.

There have been quite a few films that fit into this subgenre (the wonderful La Femme Nikita and the horrid To The Limit, just to name a few), and this film follows in that same shamele…
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Shattered Glass

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on March 26th, 2004

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Hayden Christensen is the very incarnation of smarm as Stephen Glass, hot-shot writer for The New Republic. His stories are all fabulous, seemingly too good to be true. Which is, in fact, the problem. His tissue of lies begins to unravel when Steve Zahn, reporter for Forbes Digital, tries to follow up one of Christensen’s articles, and can’t find a single legitimate fact. Peter Sarsgaard is Chuck Lane, Christensen’s editor, and he begins to smell a very big rat.
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Mac

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on March 24th, 2004

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Synopsis

Mac (John Turturro), a homebuilder, takes enormous pride in his work. Fed up with thecorner-cutting of his boss, he quits and, along with his two brothers, starts up his own buildingcompany. There are many problems on the way to success, and not least among them is Mac’sown tyrannical perfection, which takes its toll on everyone around him.

If the actual plot of Mac is something that we’ve all seen plenty of times before, itstexture and its tone are what make…
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Vintage Erotica Anno 1950

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on March 24th, 2004

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No surprise that in Master and Commander and Pirates of the Caribbeanwould trigger the re-release of older pirate movies. And oh look: those two hits are the firstthings mentioned on the blurb!

Synopsis

The title is self-explanatory. What you have here is a series of 15 short film from France. Thelonger vignettes is the expected bag of tricks: straight, lesbian, bondage, threesome, etc.Interspersed amidst the hardcore are short burlesque dances. The case boasts…
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Pirates of Tortuga

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on March 23rd, 2004

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Synopsis

Bloodthirsty pirate Henry Morgan (Robert Stevens) is starving Jamaica by seizing almostany ship that tries to make it there. He seems impregnable in his fortress on the island of Tortuga.Privateer Captain Bart (Ken Scott) arrives to find some way to defeat Morgan. His journey to theCaribbean is complicated somewhat by the presence of stowaway Meg (Leticia Roman), aspririted…er… wench… who has dreams of being a lady.

You always thought My Fair Lady would…
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Killing Kind, The

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on March 23rd, 2004

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Synopsis

Andrew Howard is Jon, brutally effective hit man for The Tattooed Man (David Calder). Hehates himself, but loves father-figure Calder, and so he goes about his murderous business,seeking refuge in drug-induced oblivion after work. Then he runs into a old friend from school,is welcomed into his family, is tempted by the sheer normality that he sees there, and begins tofall in love with his old pal’s wife (Geraldine O’Rawe). Hit man and Tattooed Man are soon ona deadly collis…
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Heart of Me, The

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on March 23rd, 2004

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Synopsis

In 1934, Helena Bonham Carter comes to live with sister Olivia Williams and her husband,Paul Bettany. Bonham Carter is the bad girl, always rebellious, while Wiliams is very proper andsomething of a cold fish. Williams wants to fix her sister up with a man, but she clearly didn’tcount on that man being her husband. Bettany and Bonham Carter begin a furtive affair, whichtakes a sudden turn when she becomes pregnant. Flash forward to 1946. Bettany appears to havebeen killed i…
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Pink Panther Collection, The

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on March 22nd, 2004

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Synopsis

Though not Blake Edwards’ best films, these are the movies with which he is most stronglyidentified, and the role of Inspector Clouseau was a career-defining move for Peter Sellers. Attheir best, the movies are fine exemplars of inspired slapstick.

The Pink Panther started it all off, and no one knew what a phenomenon Clouseauwas going to turn out to be. Edwards and Sellers (the trivia track informs us) rewrote the partlate in the game to turn the character i…
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Brother Bear

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on March 22nd, 2004

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Brother Bear is the story of a boy who becomes a man by becoming a bear. Kenai (Joaquin Phoenix) is a young man set on revenge against a bear he feels is responsible for his brother’s death. Going up against the beast and winning the battle, the great Spirits who guide Kenai transform him into a bear himself. As Kenai tries to undo the spell placed on him by the spirits, he meets Koda (Jeremy Suarez) a young cub who was separated from his mother. As the story unfolds Kenai becomes more find of Koda and “adopts…
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Deadly Little Secrets

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on March 22nd, 2004

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Deadly Little Secrets has a secret. Shhhhhh. It’s a direct to DVD feature. So the only way you can see it is by renting it. Should you? I dunno. It’s a B movie with a B movie plot, but with pretty good technical components.

The plot starts off with a murder, and the brother (of course) has to get to the bottom of it. Craig Sheffer plays the brother, and he’s bland in a beefcake main character sort of way. There’s a really bad doctor (Dylan Walsh) who is injecting football players with letha…
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Pendulum

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on March 22nd, 2004

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What do a string of prostitute murders, lesbian vigilantes, a sexually confused cop, a senate race, a prominent prosecutor turned law professor, and a law school dropout have in common? After watching Pendulum you will be asking the same questions. Seldom have I seen a more disjointed collection of clichés and bad acting in one film outside of an Ed Wood film festival. Rachel Hunter might have been a gorgeous supermodel but like so many before her she’s just not believable here. Many of the aforementioned sins might …
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Just One of the Guys

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on March 22nd, 2004

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The 1970’s and 80’s brought a ton of teenage angst films where coming of age simply meant having sex. Just One Of The Guys attempts to be a bit more original, but while the premise was, the film is certainly not. I know there was a bit of a cult following for the film, but it was mostly lost in the barrage of superior films of the year. It’s no wonder that Columbia saw fit to release this disc with so little care. Fellow herpers will take delight in one character who brings in a different reptile to school each day. …
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Lizzie McGuire – Star Struck (Volume 3)

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on March 20th, 2004

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A couple of years ago, my wife and I found ourselves watching an episode of The Lizzie McGuire Show on a lazy Saturday morning, when nothing else was on. While we are certainly not the target market, we were both pleased to find that the half-hour was genuinely entertaining. Saturday mornings are a perfect time to watch this show, as it is mildly humorous, yet still benign enough that you don’t really have to get your brain working to enjoy it. It has since become a fairly-regular part of our weekend routine.< ...
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Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on March 20th, 2004

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Synopsis

In 1973, a group of Young, Beautiful People are on the way across Texas to a rock concert.They pick up a hitch-hiker: a terrified young woman who commits suicide when she thinks she isbeing driven back to the place she just fled. Seeking help in a nearby house, our heroesunfortunately come into contact with Leatherface and his clan, and the slaughter begins.

Though there are some variations, the plot, in is broad lines, is very close to the 1973original. And therein…
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