Disc Type

As a kid, I was a huge Lost In Space fan. We loved Dr. Smith in particular and would go around our neighborhoods moaning, “The pain, oh the pain” in some mock imitation of the deliciously bad character. I think I finally know what he was talking about. I’m a man, and so I won’t even begin to pretend that I can understand what labor pains feel like. I believe it when I’m told there’s no worse suffering in the human experience, except for one. Yes, my gentle female readers, no matter how much torture childbirth might be for you

Name: Miss March Measurements: 89 minutes/90 minutes (unrated version)

Birthdate: March 13, 2009 Weight: $ 4 Million at the box office

Ambitions: To be the nastiest road/party movie it can be, without really showing all that much skin.

Turn-ons: It didn’t last very long.

Turn-offs: Let me count the ways. The cast. The script. The direction. The editing. Basically having to watch Miss March again.

“What is Echelon? It’s NSA’s central computer. It filters all global communications. Echelon’s a juggernaut. It can access any security system on the planet… Echelon’s been compromised.”

In 1948 British author George Orwell delivered a sobering science fiction novel about a future society where the State has become a parent figure to its people. It watches over everything that you say or do like a …big brother. That term originated with the novel 1984. The work has added such words as “big brother” and “Orwellian” to our lexicon. It was intended as warning against intrusions that weren’t yet possible.

It just wouldn’t be summer without The Discovery Channel’s Shark Week extravaganza. What started back in 1988 as a themed week of specials has turned into the longest running annual series of programming on cable. Every year The Discovery Channel gives up its normal collection of educational shows to concentrate on that feared predator of the deep. Man’s always had a rather natural, and healthy, fear of sharks, but it was perhaps the 1975 film Jaws that brought all of those primordial fears bubbling to the surface of our pop culture. Since then sharks have taken an almost mythic position in our culture. They invade our fears, but more importantly they fascinate the heck out of us.

“Corporations… They have all the money. They have all the power and they use it to make people like you go away. Right now you’re suffering under an enormous weight. We provide the Leverage.”

I remember seeing like a million ads for this show toward the end of the last football season. If memory serves it was heavily promoted during the Super Bowl. In any case, I had made a mental note to catch it, but it was still several weeks away and I ended up forgetting about it by then. Fortunately, the release of the first season on DVD has given me a second chance for a first look at this intriguing series.

This week, we are continuing to give small reviews to a range of discs from the Smithsonian Network. The next disc is entitled: The Big Blue. This documentary goes into Southeastern Australia and tells us the unique tale of the blue whale, the largest creature in the world. The whale has a heart the size of a small car and a tongue that weighs several tons but is more elusive than a cunning criminal. In the next 45 minutes, I hope to uncover a little more of those mysteries and other odd facts.

The people at Smithsonian Networks decided to send us a few documentary discs in the last week. The discs were presumably made to show off a few of their network shows on the Smithsonian HD channel which is starting to crop up on many satellite outfits including DirecTV and Dish Network. It is also listed on some of the cable companies lineup including TimeWarner and Charter Communications. The first disc is called Sky View and subtitled “Soar like an Eagle; A Unique View that will take your breath away.” Hopefully the proceedings won't be too high, I just might get airsick.

Running for a single season in 2008, this ABC Family production is a humorous pastiche of superheroics and Avengers-style adventure. Natalie Morales plays Wendy Watson, a struggling artist making ends meet as a temp. When she demonstrates incredible unflappability when a monster is unleashed at her current job, straight-arrow superhero the Middleman (Matt Keeslar) recruits her to join him in the fight against all sorts of bizarre menaces. A sampling of titles gives the flavour of the series: “The Boy-Band Superfan Interrogation,” “The Palindrome Reversal Palindrome,” “The Flying Fish Zombification.”

In 2007, the Pang Brothers, whose The Eye was one of the spookiest ghost stories of recent memory, made their North American debut with The Messengers, a disappointingly ordinary tale of a haunted farm. Nobody asked for a sequel, to my knowledge, but here it is, apparently closer to writer Todd Farmer's original story than the first film.

This was Lucille Ball's follow-up to I Love Lucy, and the first season is, apparently, the most highly regarded one. Here Ball is a widowed mother of two, sharing her home with best friend Vivian Vance, who is a divorced mother of one. All the other members of household are, of course, faced with the disasters triggered by Lucy. I screened this set immediately after viewing its close contemporary, Petticoat Junction, and the difference between the two was instructive. There are plenty of hoary gags and situations on The Lucy Show, but there is an enormous difference between the shows thanks to the comic genius of Lucille Ball. Her energy fills each episode, her timing is spot-on, but there is also her commitment to a type of physical comedy that to this day remains pretty much the exclusive domain of male performers. Not only does she make this style her own, she grounds it in a female reality. There is a reason she was so beloved a performer, and why her work still stands up today.