Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 31st, 2008
Shia LaBeouf and Michelle Monaghan are on the run from a series of carefully orchestrated catastrophes. All are ominously foretold by a rather humorless young lady that may or may not be a robot in the new thriller Eagle Eye, a film that purports to be “from Stephen Spielberg.” Spielberg-lovers, don’t get your hopes up. Authorial rights belong more to director D.J. Caruso and a smorgasbord of writers that include John Glenn, Travis Adam Wright, Hillary Seitz, and Dan McDermott. Oh yeah, and a dozen other tent-pole blockbuster action films. Sound like a hodgepodge Hollywood mess? It is.
Caruso’s direction does its best impersonation of Michael Bay’s, whooshing about from one impossible set-piece to another. His snarky heroes immediately hate each other, even before they have a clear-cut reason. We know this from the snippy dialogue peppered throughout, and their forced reluctance to accept the other’s story. The concept, while not altogether weak, feels like a worn-out retread of Enemy of the State. Sure, the technology is better, and much more precise; but it doesn’t feel as innovative, cutting-edge, or thought-provoking as it did in that first effort.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Michael Durr on December 30th, 2008
The series known as Duckman can be explained in one phrase. Guilty pleasure. The series ran on USA during the 90’s before they decided to re-brand themselves as something more serious. Though for some reason they still tend to show the dog show every year. Anyhow, as I remember it came on right before another guilty pleasure of mine from the 90’s, Rhonda Shear and Up All Night. I miss Rhonda deeply, plastic never looked so good. Heck Tupperware was jealous. Duckman was a series like no other; full of debauchery and indecency just like Grandma intended. Grandpa will never be the same. Paramount has brought us forty-eight episodes over seven discs to compose season 3 & season 4. One has to wonder if it will hold up after all of these years.
(*BTW, this review is written in inspiration to Duckman, so if you are easily offended by suggestive commentary and terrible jokes at the expense of others, then perhaps you might want to skip to a recent review of Petticoat Junction. However, if you read my weekly gaming column and are actually entertained enough to read my reviews, then you will be right at home. Enjoy!)
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 29th, 2008
Ghost Town, the new romantic comedy from writer-director David Koepp, succeeds in not only introducing its British star Ricky Gervais to a wider audience but also in telling a simple, familiar story with an addictive charm all its own. Gervais plays Jack Nicholson in As Good As It Gets without the extreme OCD. What he lacks in this, however, he makes up for in his hatred of humanity. While Nicholson’s character was a chauvinist, Gervais is what I would call a “no”-vinist… he hates both genders equally. (Sometimes I can relate, especially around the holidays.)
Using the familiar construct of dead people needing someone to take care of their unfinished business, the script could get bogged down in all the familiar pitfalls: tug-tug moments of single moms and their children, families feuding over simple misunderstandings, and boneheaded tough-guy biker-types with hearts of gold looking out for the women they leave behind. It does venture into these areas; however, it doesn’t forget who its main characters are, and as a result comes across as something fresh and original.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 29th, 2008
Visits – “an anthology of bone-chilling horror”? Well, it has its moments, I will say that. The most effective scenes are the ones that don’t call attention to the scare elements. Scenes that involve one or two little things out of the ordinary that don’t smack you in the face, but actually force a double-take in considering what it was you just saw – that’s when this quartet of horror tales is at its peak. Too many hack horror movies nowadays come pre-packaged for disaster, placing all their little synthetic jumps in the same places they’ve always put them, signifying to the audience, “It’s okay to be scared now.” What happened to films like Bob Clark’s original Black Christmas, where the director lays it all out and lets the audience use its brain to decide what is (and isn’t) scary?
I blame Carpenter’s Halloween, with its simple, creepy musical score, and its stunning musical “stabs.” Grant it, Halloween did this effectively. But that’s because Carpenter knew what the hell he was doing. Unfortunately, the imitators that came after did not.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on December 22nd, 2008
Let me begin by saying that I was a child of the 1970’s, which tends to make me approach these era shows with some caution. After such shows as That 70’s Show, to name the likely most popular, I find myself not recognizing the setting as the same 70’s I remember living. Granted I was pretty young, so the subject of swingers and sexual revolution were not exactly part of my everyday culture. So, I might be a little more forgiving if Swingtown doesn’t exactly hit on all of my memory circuits. I was 15 in 1976, living near Philadelphia, where we were all pretty much obsessed with that whole Bicentennial thing. The last thing on my mind was whether the neighbors, or, God forbid, my parents, were doing the bump and tickle with rotating partners. I’m pretty sure I’ll leave that question unanswered. Even with all of that said, about the only solid piece of nostalgia I got from Swingtown was the often sweet 70’s soundtrack. To the credit of whoever picked the music, all aspects of the 70’s music scene are represented. You get a good dose of folk, rock, summer pop, and even disco, which any self respecting child of the 70’s considers the death of what was otherwise a fine decade of music. Props to the music guy for not falling into the disco all of the time trap that these shows so often do. One minor complaint, however. Fleetwood Mac didn’t release their famous Rumors LP until Feb of 1977…Ooops. Outside of the music, it really could have been any time, any place.
It’s July 4th weekend, 1976 and Bruce Miller (Davenport) and his family are movin’ on up. Money’s been good at his options trading job, so he’s packing up his wife Susan (Parker), teen daughter Laurie (Collins) and young son BJ (Howles) and moving a few blocks over to a bigger house in a better neighborhood. For Susan, it’s a bittersweet time because she’s leaving her friend of 10 years, Janet (Shor) and her husband Roger (Hopkins) and their son for a new neighborhood. Friends, it turns out, won’t be a problem. The first night they are introduced to new neighbors Trina (Parrilla) and Tom Decker (Snow). They’re invited to a party that turns out to be a swinger’s event. The two end up swapping spouses for the night. It’s an exciting, somewhat dangerous thrill for the Millers. From then on they try to balance their new lives and friends with their old. Janet is good for most of the laughs as this super conservative girl is exposed to her old friend’s new friends. As if that wasn’t enough, Laurie Miller is in love with her 24 year old high school teacher, and BJ’s hung up on a cute little girl with a drugged out lush for a single mom. Every week’s episode features a new party. You’ll get everything from a surprise birthday party for Janet, to a night out at the Playboy Club. There’s even a Tupperware party. I do remember my Mom had those. Before it’s done everybody’s spouse is falling for somebody else, and you never know who’s going to end up with who. It all ends in a cliffhanger that is not likely to ever be resolved. The jury’s still out on next summer, but ratings are marginal, so I wouldn’t hold my breath for a second Summer Of Love.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on December 22nd, 2008
This modern retelling of the classic fairy tale is brought to you by a division of the Jim Henson Company called Unstable Fables. I think that whoever came up with this idea is the unstable part. This is actually causing me some pain to write. I never thought the day would come when I would be totally disgusted by a Jim Henson labeled release. Anyone who remembers the charm and soul that Henson used to put into his work, or appreciates the work that son Brian has continued, might be lured into this awful trap. Daughter Lisa should be ashamed of herself for having the audacity to put her father’s name on this drivel.
The Unstable Fables are intended as a modern retelling of popular fairy tales. I can’t speak for the first two entries, but if they are anything like this I don’t want to see them. It’s far from a retelling of anything. The names are the same, but the faces and their stories have been changed to protect the ignorant. The animation is pretty shoddy. None of the animals look even remotely cute, realistic, or interesting. They are not recognizable for what they are intended to be, but they’re not humanized versions, either. They are Aunt Esther ugly.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Michael Durr on December 22nd, 2008
When I was a lot younger, I took a particular fancy to two martial art superstars: Raphael of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles & Hong Kong Phooey. There was also another guy running around at that time named Jean Claude Van Damme. Two of his first movies namely Bloodsport and Kickboxer solidified him as a complete badass and eventually landed him a role in Street Fighter: The Movie as Guile. Eventually when he started making duds such as Double Team& Knock-Off, most people stopped watching his high flying kicks. Soon Van Damme was headed for the direct to dvd releases. One of those movies was the 2003 release, In Hell.
Van Damme plays the role of Kyle Le Blanc. Kyle is an American working overseas and has a beautiful wife named Grey (played by Marnie Alton) who is somewhat happy but lonely to be the housewife. Late one night while Kyle is coming home, the lights go out in the Le Blanc house. Grey goes to the switchbox and flip the breaker only to find her face to face with a robber named Sergio (played by Mihail Elenov) who attempts to rape her. Kyle hears the commotion via cellphone and rushes home to save her.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Michael Durr on December 22nd, 2008
Power Rangers come, Power Rangers go. By the time Power Rangers: Jungle Fury had come into existence, some incarnation of Power Rangers had been around for sixteen seasons. The series however was unique due to two qualities. The first was that it centered on three Power Rangers where as other series typically encountered five. The second differentiating characteristic was that it was written during the 2007-2008 Writers Guild of America strike. Written by non-union writers, would the series still have the appeal that the Power Ranger shows had in prior runs?
The Order of the Claw has selected six students as potential guardians of Dai Shi’s prison. Dai Shi was an evil spirit who roamed across the earth waging a war against any human that stood in his path. The Order was able to secure his spirit and lock it away in a box that would be guarded by those who were up to the task. The six students were paired into three couples and squared off in mortal kombat. Wait, wrong show. Fatalities in a kid’s show could be uncomfortable.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on December 20th, 2008
The box art on this film promises: “This campy splatterfest is 100% pure brainless fun”. Finally, truth in advertising. If you’re looking for anything else except what’s promised here, you really need to look elsewhere for some entertainment. But there is a place for this kind of thing, and if you’re willing to ask no questions, this movie will tell you no lies. I’m impressed that the makers of this movie never pretend to be anything else. All too often with these kinds of affairs you watch a feature or listen to a commentary and realize that these guys are taking themselves way too seriously. They act like they’re making high art, or some important classic milestone. Not so with these guys. They’re just having wicked fun, and they invite you to do the same.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on December 20th, 2008
Since the dawn of The Animal Planet we’ve seen an entire genre created around using real animal footage and providing a human story to go with it. In Meerkat Manor we are provided with a dramatic narration substituting human motivations for the actual activities captured by the film crew. In other instances voice over techniques are used to make the animals appear to talk. Movies like the Buddies series utilize this technique. With the help of a little CG, the animals appear to be speaking. In the case of Elephant Tales, however, there isn’t any effort to match the dialog to lip movement; in fact, there isn’t any effort to even remotely match the dialog to the animal’s activity at all. So, my first real complaint here is how random the footage appears and how totally unrelated to the dialog it is. The result is something like a Mystery Theater 3000 animal documentary edition. You might as well have provided the words yourself for all the difference it will make. Add to that a script that appears to be adlibbed the entire film, and what remains isn’t very interesting, even to the kids.
