Genre

There are plenty of reasons to be grateful for public domain rules, as they make plenty of movies easily available that wouldn’t be otherwise. But there are pitfalls as well, and there is no clearer example of this than what has befallen George A. Romero’s classic film. The great man barely saw a dime from his work, but all and sundry can fiddle with Night of the Living Dead as they see fit, and here is a textbook case. The basic premise is intact: young woman and her brother visit cemetery, are attacked by zombies, and heroine winds up part of a besieged group. Sid Haig lends his presence to liven things up a bit, but he have any real role to play until the movie is almost half-over, by which point many viewers will be sunk in boredom. The zombie attacks are tediously realized, and this is easily the most gore-free version of the story. So what is more pointless than a flesh-eating zombie film with almost no flesh-eating? A zombie movie with a twist, that’s what. Talk about pointless. A twist is to zombie movies what bicycles are to fish, but here we are stuck with one, just to irritate us further. The 3D has novelty value, and will be discussed further below, but that’s about it.

Audio

I can still remember the first time I saw Raiders of the Lost Ark. It was just after my birthday in June, and I had some time to kill on a weekday afternoon. I didn’t recall seeing a lot of hype, and it seemed no one knew just how huge the film was going to be. My expectations were not really high. The film looked interesting, and I was just looking to escape for a couple of hours. By the time I left that theater, I felt a little bit like Indiana Jones himself having made some grand discovery. I had to tell my friends. I even managed to drag a friend who hadn’t liked a movie since 1972 to see it with me the very next day. Of course, the film was followed by The Temple Of Doom, and my faith in old Indy Jones was shaken somewhat. Along came The Last Crusade, and I was born again into the world that was Indiana Jones. All of us are now gearing up for a fourth film after what seems like decades, because it has been. However, the decades have not been a complete Indiana Jones blackout. For a short time Indiana Jones could be found in the most unlikely of places… network television. Enter The Adventures Of Young Indiana Jones.

Smallville, although well shot and portrayed has never been a favorite series of mine. Growing up I was a Marvel comics fan, I hardly ever crossed into the DC market and if I did, it was for Batman, never Superman. Of course, for those of you that don't know Smallville follows the life of a young Clark Kent in the years prior to him becoming Superman. Of course it started out in season 1 with Kent in high school, very unsure of his potential but six seasons later he's very Superman esque. That's the aspect I really like about this show, the character arcs and the development of Clark Kent into Superman. We get to learn why he is the way he is, and why the people around him are the way they are.

For those of you that read the Superman comics you know that Clark Kent grew up in the fictional town of Smallville, first introduced in a Superman comic nearly 60 years ago. During the first 5 seasons of Smallville we get a taste of just about everything Superman, from the origins of Lex Luthor to The Fortress of Solitude. Without a doubt this show is a spectacular Superman spin-off for fans, but if your like me and could really care less about The Man of Steel, Smallville Season 6 isn't going to strike a chord with you unless you rewind a bit and start watching from season 1.

 

Meet The Robinsons follows the story of young orphan Lewis. He’s quite the young inventor but ends up with more failures and near misses than anything successful. His tendency to blow things up doesn’t help his adoption chances too much either. One day his life is changed when a kid from the future arrives to give him a boost of confidence. Back in the future Lewis is temporarily trapped, and the guest of the manic family Robinson. Each family member is a zany character unto themselves. Uncle Art, cleverly voiced by Adam West, is an intergalactic pizza delivery guy, and mom has trained frogs to become big band singers. Before long Lewis finds he has more in common with family patriarch Cornelius than he suspected. The villain is the mysterious Bowler Hat Man, bent on getting his revenge on Lewis and taking credit for his inventions. Armed with a catchy slogan culled from one of Walt’s own statements, Keep Moving Forward, and a new found confidence, Lewis sets out to create the future of his dreams.

Slow Burn delivers exactly what the title suggests. A whole lotta slow and a little burn. District Attorney Ford Cole (Liotta) is running for Mayor. He’s got a no nonsense reputation for fighting crime. He’s been locked in a near mortal struggle with crime lord Danny Luden, an elusive criminal who has more than once humiliated Cole in the past. His ace assistant, Nora Timmer (Blalock) has just shot a man she claims attempted to rape her. The story begins to unravel when Luther Pinks (LL Cool J) arrives with an alternate story that paints Timmer in a very bad light. The two tales are told through flashbacks and narrative, and it’s left to the audience to come up with the truth. The only problem is the pacing is erratic and often confusing. After an hour and a half of clichés and snail’s pace plot movement, you find yourself too fatigued to give a crap who is playing who anymore.

The box art boasts that “You have never seen The Wonder Years’ Fred Savage like this before”. Right. And will you please all bow your heads and join me in prayer that we never see him like this again. Forget for the moment that I just can’t get the character of Kevin Arnold out of my head any time I see Savage, but watching him turn into some sex crazy maniac is like catching your sister on the toilet. The image is there forever burned into your corneas like some visage of Hell to torment you for the remainder of your natural life.

Connoisseurs of Eurosleaze will be pleased with this nasty little variation on the gothic. In an isolated castle, a fractious, failing aristocratic family has gathered. There is no more money in the family, except indirectly: one brother, now in a vegetative state, is married to a rather wanton woman, who now holds the purse strings. The matriarch suggests that her other son marry her, even though his brother is still alive. The man is properly horrified by the suggestion, and he is also still in mourning for his wife. But then something – the spirit of his wife? a demon? – invades his teenage daughter, who then starts acting out sexually and recreating scenes from The Exorcist.

Nothing hugely original here, and many scenes are SO blatant in copying The Exorcist that one might as well assume that Friedkin’s film was the last word on possession symptoms. What is interesting, though, is that, unlike Friedkin’s film, the connection between the possession and the hypocrisy of the upper class is made perfectly explicit (in every sense). In fact, much of the misbehaviour on display has nothing whatever to do with the demon – it serves primarily to force the characters into a realization of what they really are.

Director Peter Bogdanovich has a theory that you can make almost any movie better by cutting the first 20-minutes off of it. Exposition is intended to set-up the background of the characters for the audience, but it usually just ends up slowing things down until the conflict eventually arises. After watching Bug, I would be willing to accept Bogdanovich's argument, and double it.

Bug is the story of a down-on-her-luck waitress (Ashley Judd, doing her best impression of Charlize Theron from Monster) who lives in a cheap motel and works as a waitress in a honky tonk bar in Oklahoma. Her only friend comes by one night to party, and leaves a drifter behind when she leaves for the evening. The drifter turns out to be a pretty interesting character, though clearly of mysterious origins. The two form a quick bond, and as the drifter's pre-existing mental illness starts to present itself, the waitress buys in to his delusions, with disastrous results.

With season seven already underway, our favourite TV drama about young Clark Kent's journey to becoming Superman is still going strong. Back in 2001, I have to admit I wasn't all that optimistic about the show's prospects. The pilot was strong, but after viewing the first few freak-of-the-week episodes, thing weren't exactly looking up, up and away. At least not for me, anyway. Thankfully, I don't make the decisions, because Smallville grew to become an entertaining show with decent story arcs and interesting twists in the lives of its characters.

By the time this sixth season rolled around, Smallville had moved well beyond the constraints of high school drama, and added more heroes and villains than you can shake a stick at. But is bigger better? The jury's still squabbling over that one, in between bites of their free lunch. In the meantime, I'll pass judgment on this DVD set.

I had a decided advantage going into the Michael Bay extravagance that is Transformers. Unlike the majority of the film’s target audience, I have had almost no exposure to the other incarnations of Transformers. I was already too old for the toys when Hasbro launched them, and so it was true for the cartoon and comic versions that quickly followed. Like everyone else I have a passing familiarity with the things, but nothing more. How is that an advantage, you might very well ask. Like any film that dares to attempt material often considered sacred by its followers, Transformers had to play the game of expectations. I don’t carry any of the baggage that often keeps an audience from enjoying a film because they already think they know what it should look like. Armed with just the most basic of knowledge, I was able to approach the film freshly and enjoy it as a standalone entity. With that said, I had a pretty rockin’ time of it.