Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on December 5th, 2023
"I don't know about you, but it always makes me sore when I see those war pictures ... all about flying leathernecks and submarine patrols and frogmen and guerillas in the Philippines. What gets me is that there never w-was a movie about POWs - about prisoners of war. Now, my name is Clarence Harvey Cook; they call me Cookie. I was shot down over Magdeburg, Germany, back in '43; that's why I stammer a little once in a while, 'specially when I get excited. I spent two and a half years in Stalag 17. "Stalag" is the German word for prison camp, and Number 17 was somewhere on the Danube. There were about 40,000 POWs there, if you bothered to count the Russians, and the Poles, and the Czechs. In our compound there were about 630 of us, all American airmen: radio operators, gunners, and engineers. All sergeants. Now, you put 630 sergeants together, and, oh mother, you've got yourself a situation. There was more fireworks shooting off around that joint ... take for instance the story about the spy we had in our barracks ..."
Stop me if you've heard this before. The premise is we're in World War II, but not where all of the action is. There aren't any big firefights, and you won't see or hear any of those big guns raining Armageddon down on some poor hapless pinned-down soldiers. Instead we're inside of a German POW camp, which they called Stalags. This one is run by a self-important commandant who takes pride in the fact that there has never been an escape from his Stalag. The prisoners themselves are always trying to find a way to outwit the camp Sergeant, a rather rotund officer named Shultz. Of course, I'm talking about Hogan's Heroes. But I'm not. 12 years before the CBS comedy would hit the airwaves, iconic film director Billy Wilder gave us a quasi-serious version of that particular scenario in the film Stalag 17. The film was based on a contemporary Broadway production written by Donald Bevan and Edmund Trzcinski based on their own actual experiences at the real Stalag 17. The film was originally planned as a vehicle for Charlton Heston, but when Wilder came on to direct, he immediately dismissed the idea, believing that it would become a Charlton Heston film more than a film about its own actual elements, and he was likely correct. Heston was big at the time, coming off larger-than-life parts like Moses and Ben Hur. The role went to William Holden, and the casting would become one of those lightning-in-a-bottle kind of things that can elevate a film from good to classic. And by the way, Wilder and gang sued Hogan's Heroes when it did arrive on the scene but were not successful.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on November 22nd, 2023
"All right, listen up, ladies and gentlemen; our fugitive has been on the run for ninety minutes. Average foot speed over uneven ground, barring injuries, is four miles per hour. That gives us a radius of six miles. What I want from each and every one of you is a hard-target search of every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, hen house, outhouse, and doghouse in that area. Checkpoints go up at fifteen miles. Your fugitive's name is Dr. Richard Kimble. Go get him."
The Fugitive, since its’ original release in 1993, has always been seen by a majority of people as the defining thriller of the 1990’s. The film stars Harrison Ford as Dr. Richard Kimble. Kimble, a very well known Chicago doctor, has just been framed for killing his wife. He claims a one-armed man killed her, which prompts nearly everyone to laugh at him. Kimble is immediately arrested and sentenced to death in a cold courtroom scene that doesn’t even give Kimble time to defend himself.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on November 17th, 2023
"Oh, what are people afraid of? That AI is gonna replace real writers? That Hollywood is gonna become just a bland recycling of old ideas? It already is!"
I suspect that when we are all dead and gone there will be two things we can count on continuing beyond the end of human civilization. The cockroaches will inherit the world, and they will all be watching South Park, the only television show still running. It's already been 22 years, and doesn't it feel like 50? I don't mean that in a mean way. I love South Park, but I'm starting to find it hard to remember what life was like without it. I'm convinced it will survive us all, and AI versions of Parker and Stone will be producing it until the planet is finally vaporized ... and I'm not sure even that will stop this show.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on November 15th, 2023
By JC.
Cinematically speaking, the name Eli Roth has been synonymous with murder and mayhem. The director is best known for his work in the horror genre, bursting on the scene with 2002’s Cabin Fever and upping the ante with Hostel and Hostel: Part II a few years later. So it was a bit surprising to hear he’d be taking on a remake of Death Wish — the iconic 1974 Charles Bronson revenge flick — until I started thinking about the bloody possibilities. If the Hostel films gained notoriety as prime examples of “torture porn”, then it seems like Roth has graduated to “revenge porn” with this slick and (intentionally) silly re-imagining.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on November 14th, 2023
"Streaming services make everything suck."
South Park still hasn't completely recovered from the COVID-era issues. There still has not been a complete 10-episode season, and the slack is still being taken up by specials. Not sure if that's a good thing or not, but at least it's kept us in Cartman and the gang even as other shows have closed down. The longer form also gives Parker and Stone a chance to really let an idea play out. I think they have tended to run out of gas somewhere in the back half of the second part. When you think about it, you're really looking at four episodes in length, and Parker and Stone have a pretty spotty record when they've tried to run an idea for that long. The Streaming Wars Specials suffer from just that affliction, but that doesn't mean there's not a ton of clever South Park to be had here.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Michael Durr on November 7th, 2023
Hopefully, most of you reading this review enjoyed my breakdown of the 1st part in this series. I honestly haven't been this vested in a two part series since Batman's Long Halloween. That one had the added sting that we had to wait a full year until we got the complete 4K version. At least in the case of Justice League and RWBY, we get the full 4K splendor from the get-go. However, as I alluded to in the first review, there was certainly room for improvement. We shall see if the creators can correct those issues now that the series shifts into the Justice League's world. Let's take a look.
Last time on Justice League X RWBY, the Justice League and RWBY teams had fought off Kilg%re and his army of superhuman Grimm. It was actually revealed that Remnant was nothing more than a simulation to eradicate the two teams, and it nearly succeeded on that front. A portal was then opened up, which returned Justice League back to Earth and RWBY back to the real Remnant. However, just because both teams are returning back to their home doesn't mean that everything is fixed the way it should be.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Michael Durr on November 7th, 2023
Hopefully, most of you reading this review enjoyed my breakdown of the 1st part in this series. I honestly haven't been this vested in a two part series since Batman's Long Halloween. That one had the added sting that we had to wait a full year until we got the complete 4K version. At least in the case of Justice League and RWBY, we get the full 4K splendor from the get-go. However, as I alluded to in the first review, there was certainly room for improvement. We shall see if the creators can correct those issues now that the series shifts into the Justice League's world. Let's take a look.
Last time on Justice League X RWBY, the Justice League and RWBY teams had fought off Kilg%re and his army of superhuman Grimm. It was actually revealed that Remnant was nothing more than a simulation to eradicate the two teams, and it nearly succeeded on that front. A portal was then opened up, which returned Justice League back to Earth and RWBY back to the real Remnant. However, just because both teams are returning back to their home doesn't mean that everything is fixed the way it should be.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on November 7th, 2023
"It's called the Impossible Mission Force for a reason."
I imagine this is how it happened. It's January of 2019, and Tom Cruise has just popped into the bathroom to shave. He opens up that can of Barbasol just to make sure there isn't any dinosaur DNA left in the can, but as he takes off the cap, an authoritative voice begins to speak: “Good morning, Mr. Cruise. Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to make a two part film of the Mission Impossible franchise. It won't be easy. That's why only the IMF team can be counted on to complete this task. There are agents out to stop you before you even get started. In China there is a virus code-name COVID, and this virus will spread to pandemic levels just as you're starting to get your production crew together. Elements within our own government will take measures to shut you down. Delays will cost an extra $100 million and necessitate crucial cast changes. They'll be serious injuries, and your release date will be July of 2021 ... I mean November of 2021 ... Would you believe May of 2022? ... Let's shoot for July 14, 2023. You will have to deal with nefarious crew members who will attempt to sabotage the project by standing closer than two meters apart. You may use over-the-top rants to attempt to intimidate these factions into compliance. Beware that said rants don't end up released by the press to the world. Somehow through all of these challenges you must create a Mission Impossible film that will be bigger and better than anything that came before. And remember, Tom, if your film fails to bring in a billion or more, the studio will disavow your team, and your movie will go straight to streaming ... or worse, get shelved as a tax write-off. Good luck, Tom. This message will self-destruct in 10 seconds.” There's a swoosh of fog, and Tom Cruise is sitting in his bathroom with no shaving cream to complete his original task. I figure that's how it must have gone.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on November 3rd, 2023
"Batman's a fascist!"
Let's address the elephant in the room, shall we? Hello there, big guy. How ya doing? There now, let's continue. I have to tell you, it was hard to get motivated to watch Blue Beetle. I didn't want to like it, and I wanted to try to watch it without letting myself get too involved in the whole thing. This had nothing to do with the character. I know little about him and have only read a few comics featuring the character, mostly the Ted Kord character along with his buddy Booster Gold. But none of this had anything to do with my reluctance on the part of the film. It's Warner Brothers/DC and James Gunn. All we've been hearing lately is how this new regime is going to change EVERYTHING. It all starts with the upcoming Superman film, and everything we see before then is merely filler, I guess. Yes, the Snyderverse had a ton of issues, and I'm frankly glad to see it go away. But the franchise had some solid moments and pretty strong characters and actors starting with Gal Gadot as a powerfully compelling Wonder Woman. Yeah, the second movie sucked, but that had nothing to do with the actress or the character. I should be looking forward to Jason Momoa in the next Aquaman film. I'm currently watching old Stargate: Atlantis episodes and just can't believe how far the actor has come. And I guess the final straw was the dismissal of Henry Cavill as Superman. He's the best Superman since Christopher Reeve, and Gunn is throwing the baby out with all of that bath water. So why should I care about anything Blue Beetle has to offer? Yes, he hinted the character will likely return and even with the same actor, but none of this story will likely make it to the other side. I ask again, why should I care about anything Blue Beetle has to offer? The short answer is because there's actually a lot of heart here, and I now kind of feel bad for all of these guys. So let's just pretend that Gunn isn't even here, and try to enjoy a pretty good film just for what it is.
Posted in: No Huddle Reviews by Michael Durr on October 30th, 2023
Death is unfortunately something that comes to us all. It's not something we can prevent, even if we do all that is necessary to prolong it. In the same breath, we can control to some degree what we can pass on to our family and loved ones, whether it be our spouse, children, both, or perhaps none at all. Whether it be wealth, property, movie collection (son, you have no idea), or perhaps some sentimental trinkets, a simple will and responsible caretaker should be all you need in order to pass it on. However, responsibility can sometimes be fleeting. Today, we look at a movie called Cracked, where pieces of art are passed down from a father to a daughter with frightening results. Let's take a look.
New York: a monorail train speeds by in the big city. Ruja (played by Chayanit Chansangavej) is in her apartment with her daughter, Rachel (played by Nutthatcha Padovan). Rachel is asleep, and Ruja is on the phone with an unknown party. The mother is asking for money that she desperately needs. At one point, the person on the phone obviously refuses, and we are also now aware that Rachel needs eye surgery, or else she will go blind. The conversation ends with a click, and the phone goes dead. Nearby, it appears that the daughter is awake and listening. She asks her mother if she really is going to go blind. Through the blurry child's eyes, the two embrace as the mother comforts her and tells her everything is going to be OK.
