Television

If it's Wednesday, that must mean another batch of SpongeBob cartoons. The lead-off here is the is title episode, a 22-minute piece that recounts the adventures of SpongeBuck SquarePants, our hero's 19th-Century ancestor. The rest of the episodes are an eclectic bunch, and the thematic consistency is less than that of some other collections (there is a vague adventure link that runs through several of the stories). At any rate, the silliness is just as engaging and bizarre as ever, and there are plenty of quick absurdist sight gags to keep you chuckling.

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They say that it isn’t over until the Fat Lady sings. Did you ever wonder what “it” was or who the heck this Fat Lady is they keep talking about? I can’t help you there, but I do know who the Fat Man is. It’s William Conrad, who came back to television in 1987 as J.L. McCabe, better known as “the Fatman”. McCabe was one of those tough as nails district attorneys. He was actually an ex-cop, so had great criminal instincts. McCabe wasn’t above bending the law to put away the bad guy, and he wasn’t considered a very friendly type of fellow. He majored in stubbornness and plain speaking. He relied on Jake Styles, his private investigator, to do much of the leg work for the office. Jake was a bit of a flashy playboy, but he always delivered the goods for his boss. Again, Styles wasn’t against breaking a few rules to get what he needed. Styles was played by Joe Penny. McCabe also served as a mentor, of sorts, to young District Attorney Derek Mitchell, played by Alan Campbell. Mitchell was quite wet behind the ears and a little too eager sometimes. His ambition often got the better of him, and it was the gruff McCabe who kept him out of trouble. Finally, the team was completed by Gertrude, McCabe’s loyal and trusty secretary, played by Lu Leonard. While The Fatman put crooks away instead of defending innocent defendants, there could be no mistaking the parallels between Jake And The Fatman and Perry Mason. The two shows were from different times and the styles might not have been the same, but the dynamic was very much the same. You can see a lot of Della Street in Gertrude and more than a little of the Drake/Mason relationship in the two leads. There was far more action but that was more a reflection of the change in decades than anything else. And like Mason, the Fatman rarely lost a case.

 

If you’ve followed my reviews, you know that I love Stargate. SG-1 or Atlantis; I can’t get enough of them. When the collection of Stargate Infinity discs arrived at my doorstep, I tore into them like a Wraith into a red shirt. Now the Stargate might be an incredible mystery that delights a legion of fans. What is not much of a mystery is why this children’s cartoon version of the franchise only lasted one year. I missed the original broadcast window and having watched these DVD’s I’m glad I did. I found the series to be an insult to Stargate fans. I understand that the show has been dumbed down and is geared toward the very young, but there’s no excuse for the preachy nature of the stories and the lack of respect shown toward the original material. Unfortunately, even the animation is sub par looking like an early 1980’s Saturday morning cartoon.

 

I wonder if Johnny Smith could have seen it coming. After 6 short seasons the USA Network series based on Stephen King’s The Dead Zone has finally closed up shop. The series is based very loosely on the early Stephen King novel or the film with Martin Sheen. Johnny still goes into a coma and comes out with psychic abilities. He even meets the infamous Senate candidate destined to destroy the world. The similarities between the original tale and this surprising series end there. This show is more about Johnny using his abilities for good whenever he can. We find out that it was meeting Bruce, a physical therapist who was not in the original story, that kept him from the self-destructive path King had outlined for him. What makes this increasingly compelling storyline work is twofold. Fans of the original finally have some beef to sink their canines into. The second benefit is a direct payoff of this being a series instead of a single film. While we may think we know where Johnny’s headed, we now get to see it have a profound impact on his life. We get to see the character develop, heading inevitably toward the dark future he has caught glimpses of for several years now.

 

Inspectors 81 are back on the tough streets of San Francisco for a second season of gritty police work. Remember, these are the same streets Dirty Harry worked during the same decade. There are some memorable moments in this next half season release of “Streets”. Stone goes undercover as a Catholic priest to trap a serial killer who preys on priests in For The Love Of God. It’s a tough assignment in Before I Die. The pair must stop a terminally ill cop who decides to take justice in his own hands before he goes out. A Manson-like clan is led by a man who appears to have an almost magical spell over young woman, leading them into his prostitution ring in the very nice episode, Harem. Three seemingly unrelated murders connect the dots for the pair in No Badge For Benji. The three victims are a rich foreign entrepreneur, a street informant, and a Japanese industrialist. The set ends in The Victims, which finds three escapees from prison leaving a bloody trail everywhere they go.

 

Meerkat Manor is back for a third season on DVD. You’re invited back into the South African desert with the famous Whiskers Clan. Animal Planet has themselves a relatively big hit here with Meerkat Manor. OK, so, it’s not exactly The Sopranos or The Shield, but it does have a modestly dedicated audience. Seems that folks just can’t get enough of these fur balls. They’ve set up blogs and websites dedicated to the antics of the celebrated Whiskers. If you, like them and are dying to see what these lil’ guys are up to next, wait no longer. Fast on the heels of the prequel film, The Story Begins, Meerkat Manor is here again. Of course, all of this is strictly in the interest of scientific study. Sure it is! Don’t worry, I won’t tell a soul.

 

There was a new Cowboy in Dallas, and he wasn’t throwing touchdown passes. But Walker was almost gone before he could really get started. After just four episodes the show’s production company suffered financial collapse, and the show was rescued at the last minute by CBS Productions, who would continue to run the show for its nearly decade-long run. For nine years Norris brought us the ultimate Texas Ranger in a formula cops and robbers show. The show often became a parody of itself, but maintained a solid viewer ship throughout. Hell, Norris even sings the theme song. Truthfully, what started as a one man show (it was originally called Chuck Norris Is Walker, Texas Ranger became a good working ensemble that probably kept the train going for so long. Walker (Norris) is a tough guy Texas Ranger. He is partnered with Sydney Cooke (Peebles) and Jimmy Trivetti (Gilyard) who’s an ex-jock with a brain. Walker had a love interest and eventual wife in the local assistant district attorney Alex Cahill (later Walker). Together they fight the evils that come to the high plains of Texas armed with their fists, six-shooters, and Stetsons. After starting with the final season, CBS is finally halfway through the series back from the beginning.

Norris almost deadpans his entire performance. Let’s face it, the man is no accomplished thespian. Still, Norris fans are quite passionate about their guy. There’s a popular tee shirt design that lauds their hero in epic fashion. One of my favorite is : “McGyver can build a plane out of gum and paper clips but Chuck Norris can kill him and take the plane.”  Another brags: “Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris Pajamas”. And there’s the humorous: “Chuck Norris knows what Willis is talkin’ about”. Fans of Norris were never disappointed in what they got here. The requisite martial arts and tough guy talk are present pretty much in every episode. Season five is no exception. You should also note if you’re using an episode guide: this is really season 6, as the first two were combined in the first season release. The series had its share of heartstring episodes, most notably the two part story, Lucas. Here Walker helps a young boy with AIDS find his mother and go on to become an AIDS awareness icon.  There’s another old west tale of Hayes Cooper in Last Of A Breed. Walker entertains some kids with another tale of his legendary forefather. It’s another two part episode and takes place in the old west. If you just want some good old Walker butt kicking, you won’t have to wander far. Walker kicks butt to protect some orphan kids in Small Blessings. In Warriors, Walker goes up against a group attempting to build genetically altered “super soldiers”. The season ends on a powerful cliffhanger. In The Wedding, Alex is shot and clinging to life while Walker sets out to find the shooter. That brings to mind one more of those Norrisisms: “Chuck Norris’s chief export is pain”. Ouch!

<>Imagine waking up one morning to find a newspaper on your front porch. Here in Tampa, the fact that the paper is actually on your front porch is miracle enough. Imagine further that this ordinary looking paper isn’t today’s paper at all, but rather tomorrow’s edition. If you could trust that what you held was the genuine article, so to speak, just think of the possibilities. For most of us our thoughts turn to the myriad ways in which we could enrich ourselves: sports scores, lottery numbers, even stock tips.<> If, however, you’re less selfish, there is an equally endless number of ways in which you could help your fellow man, or woman as the case may be. You would have advance knowledge of tragic accidents, crimes, and other unfortunate events about to befall your fellow human travelers. That’s the essence of Early Edition.

 

Because I was fairly certain I would be asked to review this second season of Jericho, I did not watch any of the episodes as they aired. With the writer’s strike many shows were going through problems, and I guess I wanted to see how it all shook loose. So, I watched very little of anything from the networks for fear of being stranded in the middle of a compelling story. Now, before the Jericho fans out there devise any plans to have me roasted along with their next batch of nuts, let me assure you I am not a monitored watcher and participated in no survey. They tend to shy away from us critic types. Something about the deodorant we tend to wear, I think. So I had nothing to do with the ultimate demise of your show; in fact, I’ve become a fan.

 

So I find out I’m going to review a film called Meerkat Manor. My research tells me it’s actually a television show on Animal Planet, but I still didn’t know much. Was this some kind of animal version of The Tudors? And what exactly is a meerkat, anyway? The answer to all of these questions arrived one sunny morning via UPS on my front door. I yawned my way to the door and picked up the nondescript package that fell over with a flop as I opened my home to the bright Florida sunshine. “What’s this?” I asked myself. What wonderful adventure would I embark on only to relay the details of my trip to you, the readers of upcomingdiscs.com. I tore open the package and suddenly I was face to face with a real honest to goodness meerkat. Turns out that meerkats are a kind of mongoose that live in the Kalahari in Africa. They have this creepy habit of standing on their hind legs and hanging out. It was a lot like my old neighborhood corner where I grew up. They look like hoods. They watch you with those beady little eyes, all the while looking like they’re trying to figure out who’s got the legs for the third race this afternoon. And I was about to spend some quality time with the meerkats of the hood… I mean manor.