Television

I was just a kid when Laverne and Shirley became a successful spinoff from Happy Days in the 1970’s, and while I remember that it was on often in our home I could not have recited any episodes from memory. Like most of my generation, I remembered the enigmatic opening rhyme from the show’s opening segment, and like most kids then I couldn’t pronounce it and still can’t; don’t even ask me to spell it here. The Cyndi Grecco saccharine ballad was a hit for a while, playing far too often during the summer pool months.

 

Love and marriage, love and marriage, go together like a horse and carriage, this I tell your brother; you can't have without the other... Chances are if you know this song by heart, you have watched a lot of episodes of Married with Children (or you adore Frank Sinatra ). The Bundys are back for their eighth season of marital hijinx. Once it was just a random trivia question about one of the shows that was first on the little known Fox tv channel (Tracey Ullman and Garry Shandling are two others by the way). Later, it went on to be one of the network's greatest early hits and out lasted almost everything except the Simpsons. So would another twenty six episodes of crass sarcasm and dysfunctionality dilute the product or just keep the laughs coming?

The seventh season of Married with Children had introduced us to an unpopular character known as Seven. This character was written as a way to give the Bundys a third child. However, by the eighth season the character had been written off mostly as a failed experiment. The character would later be referenced in later shows as classic wink-wink jokes to those who closely followed the series but nothing more. The eighth season was more of a return to form for Al (played by Ed O'Neil), Peggy (played by Katey Sagal), Kelly (played by Christina Applegate), and Bud (played by David Faustino) Bundy. Peggy tries to make a free-throw for cash and keeps trying to find ways to make marriage bliss with Al. Bud discovers his cool factor in an episode and suddenly becomes a love machine, at least in his own mind. Kelly is still trying to land a sports celebrity or fill up her brain with useless trivia to win a game show. Then there is Al, who spends episodes starting up clubs against women (No Ma'am) or getting his old Dodge up to the one million mile mark.

Imagine Sheriff Andy Taylor older and now an attorney, and you pretty much have the set up for Matlock. Forget for a second that both characters were played by Andy Griffith. That’s not all they have in common. Matlock is every bit the “southern gentleman” that Taylor was. He might be a little smarter, but he walks and talks like Andy Taylor.

 

Wings was one of those unusual sitcoms that depended more on the characters than the situations they were in. While the setting was a small Nantucket airline owned by two brothers, most of the episodes had very little to do with flying. Rather, the writers populated this small airline with very distinctive personalities and let these interactions be fodder for the funny. The characters were played by more than competent actors, many of whom have proven themselves beyond this quaint sitcom. Timothy Daly played Joe Hackett, the older, more responsible brother who was often the show’s straight man. His rather adolescent sibling Brian was played by Steven Weber. I wouldn’t exactly say this was Oscar Madison and Felix Unger, but their conflicts over maturity fueled the characters. The airline’s love interest was Helen Chappel, played by Crystal Bernard. She was an aspiring symphony cellist who worked the airport’s lunch counter. For much of the show’s run she had an on again off again romance with Joe. By far the most animated character was mechanic Lowell Mather, played by Thomas Haden Church. It’s still amazing to me that this rather unintelligent character was played by the same guy who brought us Sandman in the latest Spider-Man film. Finally there was cabbie Antonio Scarpacci, played by the current Adrian Monk, Tony Shalhoub. Antonio is an Italian immigrant who has trouble understanding things most of the time, leading to some of the better moments in the series. Fay, played by Rebecca Shull, is the mothering member of the cast. And Roy Biggins (Schram) runs the rival airline and is often engaged in one underhanded scheme or another.

 

Stargate Atlantis went into its third season with a lot to prove. Its companion and older series SG-1 was winding down and preparing to take its show to the longer direct to video path.  Atlantis rose to the challenge and had what was arguably its best season to date. The best decision the show runners could have made was the one to concentrate on their core characters and give us episodes that were obviously intended to help us learn more about them. We meet McKay’s sister and Ronon’s wife and family along the way. We get to witness Sheppard in his alluded to battle in Afghanistan. This is also the year we lose Dr. Beckett, at least in heroic fashion. We all expected that Paul McGillion would turn up on the next Star Trek film as everyone’s favorite starship engineer. It wasn’t through lack of trying and fan support that the film went in another direction, but we will get to see him in some sort of cameo. The Wraith and the Geni are both featured in some strong episodes.

 

Imagine my surprise when I found out that the show Wildfire, aired exclusively on the ABC Family network on Monday nights, is coming up on its fourth season. So it makes me wonder, since ABC Family is a little long on episodes, if a show airs on a network that people barely watch (aside from the occasional Gilmore Girls repeat), does the show really exist?

Wildfire is not, as I first thought, a reality show surrounding professional wrestler Tommy Rich, nor is it a dramatic show about fighting brush blazes in California or Montana. It is the name of a racehorse. The horse finds a kindred spirit in Kris (Genevieve Cortese, Kids in America), who is on a work release program and is given parole to work at Raintree Ranch, owned by Jean Ritter (Nana Visitor, Star Trek Deep Space Nine). Jean's son Matt (Micah Alberti, American Pie Presents Band Camp) is becoming an accomplished trainer, perhaps better than the farm's head trainer Pablo (Greg Serano, In the Valley of Elah), but despite his feelings for Kris, he's become the trainer for a horse owned by Danielle Davis (Nicole Tubiola, Imaginary Heroes), in a family that Jean seems to run into conflicts with. The patriarch Ken (James Read, Legally Blonde) has tactics that seem a little bit seedy, and his son Junior (Ryan Sypek) wants to break free from his hold.

I don’t know what I really expected when I started watching Greek. I never saw the broadcast, and the series was extremely underplayed in the crowded wilderness of promos and press. Honestly, I’m not sure I would have invested any time in the show if I had heard of it. So, when Greek showed up at my door to watch and review, I had to scratch my head a little bit before deciding to put the first disc into my DVD player. The release case almost makes the show sound like a Greek life reality show, and I’m sure as we speak some new reality creator is just now thinking what a great idea that would be. But Greek is not a reality show at all. It’s a teen soap opera set in the party environment of a college campus and both a fraternity and sorority house. The concept would appear to be slightly misplaced on ABC’s Family Network. The prerequisite underage drinking and promiscuous sexual lives don’t appear to be the best “family” entertainment. We don’t get even halfway through the pilot episode before we’re already charting those waters. To be sure, Greek is no Animal House, and the atmosphere is toned down considerably, but the issues remain, and this is not a show for the kiddies.

 

If Matt Stone and Trey Parker have learned anything in their long run with South Park, it’s how to squeeze a buck out of the show’s DVD releases. Imaginationland is a 3 part episode from the show’s 11th and most recent season. There’s no doubt that the full season will eventually be out in DVD at some point. But, you see, that could be months away, and we just can’t have that. So in typical South Park epic form, the three episodes are edited together to bring us a “full length South Park movie”.

Let’s make the point right from the start, that South Park, this is not. Lil’ Bush Resident Of The United States is simply a group of liberals who have nothing better to do with their time then bash the President. On the surface there are actually some rather humorous elements, and I must admit to finding the idea a little clever. Think Muppet Babies and the Bush Administration. I enjoy satire quite a bit, and when it’s dead on it can be not only entertaining but effective. Here all we really get is a cartoon about these politicians presented in nothing but a negative light. They go through each episode engaging in one nonsensical farce after another, so that you’re left asking yourself one simple question: Just how many times is the same joke going to be funny?  Not only is W just an idiot, but his brother Jeb is presented as far worse. I have lived in Florida for 20 years, and I can tell you there was nothing “idiotic” about the way Jeb handled hurricanes, once 4 in 35 days,  and other crises that he encountered as our governor here. Cheney is presented as a Satanist who revels in his evil ways. Lil Condi wants nothing more than for W to fall in love with her, and Lil Rummy is a war-mongering bully. W loves his hot dogs and leads the group in a rock band where the motto is “rock and awe”. There are moments this stuff actually gets funny, but too often when it’s simply mean-spirited. I’ll admit they do take some swipes at the other side, but it always comes across as far more playful. In short, if you’re a Bush hater, this stuff will be solid gold. If you’re more balanced and levelheaded, this stuff is funny for a time but gets old real fast.

 

I'm not sure what we will consider the fall of man. Perhaps it will be dangerous emissions into the air; perhaps it will be what happens when we don't recycle enough. It could just be when I don't win a freaking Nobel Peace Prize for my work in the field of gaming and dvd collecting. But perhaps the true fall of man will actually be rested upon the shoulders of one man and that man is Jerry Springer. For years, his brash trailer trash tv show has done more to destroy mankind than the rubber chicken (trust me, you just don't know). Within the last few years, Jerry has had to take his shtick elsewhere. In college campuses, in shopping malls, on PPV. Yes Pay Per View. This first volume of Jerry explores the first three Pay Per View specials and wow. That is simply all I can say.

If you never seen Jerry Springer, let me sum it up in a couple of sentences. There are people that belong (or are in) a trailer park who sleep with their spouse's best friend, mother, daughter, dog, cow, it really doesn't matter. Then they get on Jerry, talk about it, and have fights that are broken up by security over it. This theme will continue for most of the show until Jerry has his little moment at the end where he will speak about what we have learned today (Yeah, don't live in a trailer park and don't date strippers, we got it!). In other episodes, he'll have some hot women get on and do things that our momma never told us about nor will our girlfriend ever think about doing to us or with us. So it continues.