Disc Reviews

Infected is one of those many made for television films that appear on the Sci-Fi, I mean Sy-Fy Channel almost weekly, I mean weakly. Most of them are relatively low budget affairs that utilize very low grade CG f/x and often actors that haven’t been getting a lot of steady work in the legitimate world. It amazes me, actually. How can a network dedicated to science fiction consistently produce some of the worst movies in the genre? You would think that after a hundred of these things that they would have to get it right once in a while. The law of averages almost demands it. Instead, week to week, month to month, and year to year, the worst the genre has to offer finds its way as “original” movies on the network.

Infected is a sort of V meets The Arrival. A band of evil aliens have arrived on Earth to help them to repopulate their species. The somehow arrive at the idea they can best do this by setting up a bottled water company and selling humans plague tainted water. Of course, no one catches on, and the company grows to conglomerate size in no time. Enter a pair of reporters. Ben (Bellows) and Lisa (Roy). Of course, they used to be an item and now have trust issues working together on a tabloid. When the mayor is killed, a sample of his blood is retrieved and finds its way to the couple. Tests prove it is some wacked out hemoglobin. The clues eventually lead to the bottling company and its boss, Peter Whitefield (Dinsmore) who is actually a big insect under his fake human skin. The plot unravels and Ben discovers he has a natural immunity which he can use to fight off those pesky grasshopper things. And we all live happily ever after. Naturally, there’s a government cover up. Invasion? What invasion? We know nothing about no stinkin’ invasion?

The danger in revisiting a show you used to love as a kid is that it will almost always disappoint, especially, it seems to me, if the show was made in the 70s. I have had this experience several times in my life, sitting there with a dull expression in my eyes, gazing at the screen and wondering why I ever thought Welcome Back Kotter was funny. And did I really thrill to the exploits of Starbuck and Apollo without noticing how awful Battlestar Galactica was?

Aging senator James Stewart and wife Vera Miles arrive in the prosperous town of Shinbone to attend the funeral of an anonymous farmer. The local newsmen want to know why. Stewart tells the story. Cue the flashback, where he arrives in a much more anarchic Shinbone as a naïve lawyer. Held up and beaten by the brutal outlaw Liberty Valance (a psychotic Lee Marvin), he is determined by bring law and justice to the town, but must come to terms with the fact that he cannot do so without the gun of John Wayne (the aforementioned farmer).

For all intents and purposes, this 1962 film was director John Ford's last western. It is an elegiac, melancholy piece (and one that makes Catlow, reviewed here a few days ago, look even more out of step with time). Like Unforgiven, it is a film whose casting is not only perfect, it is necessary. The collisions between the Wayne and Stewart characters are also the collisions between the symbols of American Myth the two icons represent. Vera Miles, as the woman torn between the two men, comes to represent the country itself, which must, for its own sake, choose the civilization and rule of law embodied by Stewart, even as it grieves over abandoning the larger-than-life figure of Wayne. He is the Old West, a figure from a more anarchic time, perhaps the light to Marvin's darkness, but in many ways not that different. He must vanish to make way for the future, but the future cannot come into being without his help and sacrifice.

Galaxy Quest is an odd movie. It opened on Christmas Day of 1999 and did alright in the box office gathering roughly 71 million and some change. It was one of those movies that you went to go see and would laugh a lot but wouldn’t tell anybody in fear of people making fun of you. So it did respectable sales, but nobody knew the full potential of the movie until it hit the video format. The movie found a considerable audience and after many years, the movie holds up. Possibly better than it ever did nine years ago in a tiny theater. Now, with the release of a deluxe edition many years later, the movie can reach new audiences. Hopefully, they will be able to appreciate it as much as I did.

Once upon a time, Galaxy Quest was an entertaining space drama. It lasted only four seasons but found an audience that lasted many years later. The cast however has for the most part not been able to find reasonable work, reduced to conventions and lowly promotional work. There is Gwen DeMarco (played by Sigourney Weaver in a blonde wig) who played Tawny, the Computer Officer of the Protector and served as the beauty on the ship. Alexander Dane (played by Alan Rickman) plays Dr. Lazarus serves as the resident Spock/intelligent alien and is positively sick of his catchphrase (By Grabthar's hammer, by the suns of Warvan, you shall be avenged!).

Two guys enter a 3-on-3 Basketball tournament, but they stink. They work at a morgue and their crazed former coworker reanimates a gigantic man...they put him on their team...he's good because he's big (almost automatically)...they try to get money, girls and yadda yadda yadda, you can guess how it turns out for them.

This film is a mundane, predictable tale that is low on the laughs and big on the stereotypes. Our two heroes even lure in the zombie giant to be friend's with them with fried chicken and weed! I'm not black but I was feeling rather offended by the amount of lowbrow and unfunny stereotypes being deployed.

Dax Sheppard plays a one-liner filled everyman who loses his job the same day that both his kooky mother and his geeky step-cousin move into his house while he is attempting to lower his sperm count as his wife wants to conceive a child. The setup is their right off the bat, the comic motions not hesitating to begin, and they play out in a traditional comic format that is both familiar and harmless.

Diane Keaton delivers a hearty bit of scenery chewing in every scene she has as the mother, but she manages to be be entertaining so she can hardly be condemned. Granted, the over-bearing mother shtick is not trailblazing but she manages to traverse through it with dedication to her character (as over the top as it can be) and enough of a smirk towards the camera that the audience can realize that she's mainly just having a bit of fun.

Yul Brynner is the titular Catlow, a jovial outlaw rounding up maverick cattle, much to the consternation of cattle barons who feel the strays belong to them. Richard Crenna is Ben Cowan, Catlow's best friend but also a federal Marshal, who is tasked with arresting Catlow. Leonard Nimoy is the hired gun whose task is rather more lethal. Catlow and Cowan spar good-naturedly as the former plans to steal a great deal of gold in Mexico, which will have many other people annoyed with him.

This 1971 western is a lighthearted romp, or at least it intends to be. In fact, the humour is rather forced, even though everyone is grinning madly and putting a great deal of energy into convincing us that they're having mad fun. The effect, however, is rather flat. The film also trots out unquestioningly almost every old western convention, up to and including a completely unreconstructed vision of its “Indians” as dangerous savages. In the wake of the Spaghetti Westerns and Sam Peckinpah's elegiac orgies of violence, it seems curiously old-fashioned, and in the end functions as little more than passable entertainment.

Some weeks back, I wrote about Splinter, and opined that director Toby Wilkins showed real skill. I also expressed worry over the fact that this follow-up was this, the third entry in a franchise that began with a remake in the first place. So here we are. Was I right to worry? Sadly, yes.

The Grudge 3 picks up in the aftermath of its predecessor, with the death of the last survivor of that film's massacre. The setting remains the same Chicago apartment building where evil ghosts Kayako and Toshio in the last thrilling episode (apparently have grown bored with Tokyo). The focus now is on the caretaker and his two sisters, the younger of the two being chronically ill. Meanwhile, Kayako's sister arrives in town, determined to put an end to the curse.

“Life is a tightrope. You’ve got to learn to dance.”

We’ve all had bad days. Everyone can relate to that. We’ve all had moments when we weren’t at our best, when we’ve said or done something in the heat of the moment that wasn’t exactly our most shining moment. We can only hope that these momentary lapses of reason don’t cause permanent harm to ourselves or to others. We can only plead our case that we aren’t ultimately defined by these brief acts of frustration brought about by mitigating circumstances. Most of the time we get lucky. Sometimes that fleeting moment isn’t so fleeting. Some times you have a bad day, all of it. That’s the premise behind this Samuel L. Jackson and Ben Affleck vehicle.

Director Brad Anderson and writer Scott Kosar were unable to find backing or support from any of the American studios when they were shopping this movie. Apparently there were worries that it wasn’t very commercially viable. It turns out they were correct. The film made just over $1 million in domestic box office. That’s not a mistake. I meant $1 million. Even the foreign market came up short, coughing up only an additional $7 million total. Because of the lack of interest here in the States, the duo went to the Spanish government and received a grant. The grant required the film to be made in Spain and include Spanish cast members. But the movie kept its California setting and shot Barcelona for California, and not very effectively either. The truth is, there’s a lot more wrong with this film than just the lack of studio interest and its forced European locations. The team missed a grand opportunity here. They got to shoot in a rather exotic location but never took advantage of the wonderful surroundings. Instead they insisted on keeping the film urban, and in the end rather generic. The only solid set piece is the machine shop, which was filmed in a working plant.

Trevor Reznik (Bale) is a very odd man. We find him a year into a rather dramatic and steady decline. He hasn’t slept in over a year. He is losing weight to the point of emaciation. He works as a machinist for National Machine, where his bosses think he’s taking drugs and his coworkers don’t like him either. None of that is helped when his inability to focus causes another man, Miller (Ironside) to lose his arm in a machine. The only companionship he has is a hooker, Stevie (Leigh) who he pays a hundred bucks a pop and his café waitress, Marie (Sanchez-Gijon) who serves him coffee and pie. His decline appears to accelerate when he meets an apparent new employee at National. Ivan (Sharian) is a monster of a man with whom Trevor becomes obsessed. He leaves little post-it notes to remind him to do everyday things, but these notes usually disappear, replaced instead with cryptic messages and a hangman game. As his mind and body deteriorate, he becomes increasingly paranoid. His mind is pushing him to accept a reality that is not going to be pleasant.