Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on May 25th, 2007
Portions of this review have been "borrowed" from Brendan Surpless' recent review of the HD-DVD version of the disc, which can also be found on the site.
Synopsis
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on May 22nd, 2007
Since Steve Carell broke into the comedic world with the film Anchorman, audiences have seemingly labeled him the new comedic genius with some comparing him to Jim Carrey. While I don’t completely agree with such a comment, Carell can definitely carry a film by himself, which is evident here with 40-Year Old Virgin.
The plot of The 40 Year Old Virgin can be summed up by a cursory glance at the title of the movie. In slightly more detail; Steve Carrell plays Andy Stitzer, a socially awkward fo...ty year old whose definition of a busy weekend is preparing an egg salad sandwich and changing the color of his figure’s pants. When Carell reveals (by accident one might add) to his colleagues that his virginity is still firmly attached during a poker game, they set about helping him lose it as quickly as possible. Naturally, this entails humiliation, comical misunderstandings and a fair amount of low-brow humor.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on April 12th, 2007
After watching a bloated Tom Sizemore run around tunnels being chased by a man in a rubber suit while making bad jokes, it’s hard to believe that he used to be in good movies like Heat, Saving Private Ryan, and Black Hawk Down. And that’s probably the biggest impression I got from Bottom Feeder, just another example of the latest “anyone can make a direct-to-video horror movie” trend. My, how far Sizemore has fallen.
The plot is minimal, which is par for the course in most horror films... A burn-scarred millionaire seeks a serum that will regenerate his flesh, so naturally, he tests the serum on the scientist to make sure it works. However, the serum only works properly if it's taken with another anecdote. If not, it will turn you into a monster. And just think, I hate it when medicine makes you groggy. Don't you hate when that happens?
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on April 2nd, 2007
Turistas is a horror film about six hard-bodied 20-somethings whose vacation in paradise turns bad when they're drugged, robbed and kidnapped on behalf of a crazed doctor who wants to harvest their organs while they're still alive.
I think that about sums it up. Now let's talk about why this film isn't any good. First, while I realize characters in horror movies are supposed to fall into traps, never before have I seen characters this stupid. They don't just make one or two dumb choices. No, these kids take every single chance they get to put themselves in danger.Even when someone - in absolute terror - tries to warn them away from the evil doctor's home in the middle of the jungle, they insist on going anyway.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on March 27th, 2007
Two films in, and I am still impressed with Warner Brother's new Raw Feed line of direct-to-DVD horror films. As the direct-to-DVD market continues to grow, Warner's has jumped out in front with their new studio. The first film, Rest Stop, deftly told the story of a woman stranded at a rest stop and terrorized by a local madman. An entertaining film, but certainly not a new premise.Sublime is a much more developed story, and a very involving film.
Tom Cavanagh from TV's Ed and Love Mon...ey stars in a film that is much more psychological horror than outright terror. When George Grieves visits the hospital for a routine colonoscopy, all seems to be going well. When he wakes up, however, he discovers that the procedure was anything buy routine. I don't want to give too much away, but I can honestly say that the film pulled me in early, and didn't let me go until the last frame.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on March 2nd, 2007
Posted in Disc Reviews by Joshua Noyes
Two guys who were used to drinking beer for fun suddenly become fierce competitors in the “Beer Drinking Olympics” in Germany. Todd Wolfhouse (Erik Stolhanske) and his brother Jan (Paul Soter) are from a German-American family but have never visited the Old Country until their grandfather dies and they fly to Germany to scatter his ashes. Todd and Jan arrive during the annual Oktoberfest celebration and accidentally discover a secret competition, "Beerfest," in which the world's leading beer guzzlers determine who ca... handle the most brew during several days of heated drinking games. Todd and Jan are no lightweights when it comes to downing brew and offer to compete, but the German branch of the family, the Von Wolfhausens, hesitate at their desire to enter the contest and inform them no mere Americans stand a chance winning the Beerfest honors. Determined to prove Americans can drink beer with the best of them, Todd and Jan bring their drinking buddies to Germany to defend America;s honor and prove to their German relatives that they too can drink as well as anybody.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by David Annandale on January 29th, 2007
Amber Tamblyn, playing Sarah Michelle Gellar’s sister, comes to Tokyo to help Gellar, currently in a hospital and considered insane. The help is too little too late, and soon Tamblyn is contending with the same evil ghosts. Two other storylines intertwine with this one: a young American student goes into the evil house on a dare, and she and her two friends attract the unwelcome attentions of the spectral mother and son. And back in the States, a blended family moving into a new apartment is gradually torn apart by the influence of the malevolent duo.
When Takashi Shimizu revisited Ju-On as The Grudge for Western audience, he did so with a script that, while streamlining the original and making it more comprehensible, still stuck close to the story, and the resulting film was arguably superior to its predecessor. The Grudge 2, on the other hand, jettisons the story of Ju-On 2. That sequel had a pretty convoluted plot, but it built a quite the horrific charge, and was a great spook story. The new film’s storyline starts from a false premise (that the ghosts were previously confined to the house, when they manifestly were not) and proceeds from there to work diligently at creating a result that is nonsensical, repetitive, and dull.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by David Annandale on January 29th, 2007
John Cena is The Marine. Though, as matters develop, The Maroon might be a better handle. At any rate, after being discharged for having Disobeyed a Direct Order in Iraq (where, in a scene distinctly reminiscent of the opening of The Naked Gun, our boy shoots up one of those elusive Al-Qaeda training camps that nobody else seems to be able to find). Readjustment to civilian life is difficult, but then, while heading out for a little holiday with his wife (Kelly Carlson), an unfortunate stop at a gas station results in Carlson being abducted by a violent gang of jewel thieves headed up by Robert Patrick (who comes across, as was pointed out to me, like the love child of Martin Sheen and Chandler Bing). Cue the pursuit through the swamps.
So as we’re watching this, my girlfriend turns to me and says that there’s a problem with a movie when the hero could be removed from the picture to little discernible effect. And she’s right. In fact, Cena disappears completely once the action gets going (!!?!), leaving the field for Patrick to camp it up. What role he does play could have, for the most part, easily been filled by one of the alligators we are shown (but who are never seen again). Perhaps Gustave could have been imported from Primeval to take care of business. And while I love a good explosion as much as the next guy, the ones on display here are so over the top (my favourite is the coop car raised into the air on a pillow of fire) that they are hilarious. And trust me, we’re laughing AT the movie and the steroid freaks in it, not with it (or them).
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on January 19th, 2007
Having previously only seen the theatrical trailer for Derailed, I was pleased to finally get a chance to watch it. The movie seemed to be filled with a lot of suspense, but the redundancy of this type of affair movie sort of detoured me. Ultimately, I went into this with expectations of an impressive thriller.
Charles Schine (Clive Owen) is a well-off advertising executive married to a school teacher. Together, they have a teenage daughter. Due to complications with diabetes the couple has to be co...stantly on alert with their daughter, causing them continuous stress and leading to what is ultimately a deteriorating marriage.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on January 13th, 2007
Wolf Creek is an Australian horror film that is based on true events; with no certain event in specific it combines a few elements from some missing people�s cases in Australia. The actions of some of the characters mirror that of famous serial killers, most notably that of Ivan Milat who most have speculated is whom the movie is based on. According to Quentin Tarantino Wolf Creek is ��One of the great horror film heavies of the last 25 years� so it seems to be really promising.
Liz Hunter (Cassandra Magrath) and Kristy Earl (Kestie Morassi) are friends from England who are travelling Australia for a holiday. Here they meet up with Ben Mitchell (Nathan Phillips) with whom they plan to take a trip to Wolf Creek, a desolate area of Australia where a large crater formed by a meteorite lays. The Wolf Creek of the movie is based upon the real life Wolfe Creek in Australia, which you can see during the aerial shots of the crater in the movie. After driving to Wolf Creek and exploring it the group happily returns to the car ready for their next adventure. But fait would have it, or maybe someone else would have it, their car won�t start. Waiting in the car for hours finally they see headlights off in a distance approaching them. Out comes Mick, a Crocodile Dundee looking fellow who offers to tow their vehicle to his camp and will fix it free of charge. Although a bit hesitant the group decides to accept the offer due to their lack of money. After driving for quite some time they arrive at Mick�s camp, an abandoned mining site that he calls home. Here they all sit down and exchange stories, where Mick�s behaviour becomes a bit suspicious, but somehow he manages to woe them into a false sense of security. Before we know it everyone passes out and we skip ahead to day break where Liz, Kristy, and Ben wake up.
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