Artisan Entertainment

National Lampoon’s Van Wilder

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on September 24th, 2002

During my years at college in Philadelphia, there was a guy who lived at the end of the freshman hall whom had been around far longer than any other freshman. He gathered a following and essentially coached his young ones, myself included, on how to have fun on and off campus. As National Lampoon’s Van Wilder began to spin, I couldn’t help but remember those glorious days and revere Van as he celebrated his life at Coolidge College.

Van Wilder, played perfectly by Ryan Reynolds, returns to Coolidge for y…
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Con Express

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on September 3rd, 2002

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Con Express is, at its heart, a low budget Die Hard / Speed hybrid. Terry Cunningham shows off his love for the high impact thrillers, but unfortunately not always his respect. There are times when you don’t notice the millions missing in the budget. The story, while it is a bit contrived, carries well throughout the entire film. My only complaint is that Cunningham saw fit to interrupt the film each time it started to flow with a senseless wraparound story of the hero being interviewed to take over the Customs office in Alaska. In an action film pacing is everything and the element most missing from Con Express.

Hell’s Gate

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on August 29th, 2002

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Recipe for Hell’s Gate:

Start with a cupful of “Jack The Ripper films”
Add a pinch of Hannibal Lechter
A sprinkle of One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest
Layer in a mixture of Hand That Rocks The Cradle or Tie That Binds
Mix in a paste of B-Film standard acting and production
Cover with a thick Argento and Bava sauce
Bake for 92 minutes
Serve hot

Synopsis

A young girl (Kensit) is literally shocked into remembering that she was once the mole of Jack The Ripper.
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Dinotopia

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on August 11th, 2002

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Synopsis

Two brothers survive a plane crash (a crash in which their father dies, but they don’t seem too broken up about the sad event), and find themselves washed up on the island of Dinotopia. As the name implies, this is a land where humans and dinosaurs co-exist. We explore this island with the brothers, and get caught up in their quest to help save this world in its hour of peril. The characters here are a long way from believable, and so the main draw is the special effects, which are, by telev…
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Chat Room

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on July 24th, 2002

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Synopsis

A group of friends made a bet at the end of high school to see who would bring the most attractive date to the ten-year reunion. That time has come, and the bet is worth $50,000.00. Time to surf the Internet for that perfect woman. This is, apparently, a comedy. Really. Utterly inept in every department (acting, writing, direction, editing, cinematography), this achieves the not-inconsiderable feat of making Corky Romano looking screamingly funny by comparison.

Audio

Dune

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on July 15th, 2002

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Synopsis

Herbert’s novel is very complex, and one attempts a synopsis at one’s own risk (this is part of the problem with Lynch’s film). At its most basic, it is about power struggles in a galactic empire, power struggles centred on the planet Arrakis, or Dune, home of the spice, the most vital element in the empire. Paul Atreides, newly arrived on Arrakis, turns out to be the long-prophesied messiah. This is an incredibly ambitious project for a telefilm, and though some of the budgetary limitations…
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Hard Cash

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on July 11th, 2002

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Hard Cash wants very much to be a smart movie, with not one but three separate heists that are thought out and executed in complicated style much like the far superior films, Heist and The Score. The problem with Hard Cash is that it can’t resist being campy as well. Hard Cash also wants to be funny. The end result is a movie that does both adequately but neither very well. Val Kilmer looks so uncomfortable in his role, you wonder if his shoes are on too tight. Slater is accually quite convincing, but he can’t get any of the other actors to come along for the ride
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Sins of the Father

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on July 11th, 2002

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Sins of the Father is an emotional film. It is overflowing with disturbing images of both racial and domestic violence. The cast is quite convincing. This film is not for everyone. The portrayal of the racial tensions of 1960’s Alabama closely resembles the historic footage interwoven in the film for realism. The film often switches from 1998 to 1963 and the transitions are often confusing.

Rambo Trilogy

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on May 15th, 2002

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The Films

Guilty as charged. Yes, it is true… until now, I had never seen any of the Rambo films. Sure, these films are all now somewhat dated, but they sure are fun to watch.

Rambo: First Blood – Sylvester Stallone stars as ex-Green Beret John Rambo, a shell-shocked Vietnam vet adrift in the Pacific Northwest. Harassment by an unsympathetic small-town sheriff brings on nasty flashbacks of torture at the hands of the Viet Cong; after busting out of the jail where he has …
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Terminator 2

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on March 1st, 2002

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The most basic rule in Hollywood seems to be that a sequel can never be as good as the original. If you’ve seen enough Police Academy films you know the rule by heart. This rule has been broken with Terminator 2. Not only is it better then the original, it is so much better that it has become “the” Terminator film. It’s no surprise that the DVD would have to be something special right down to a metal cover for the box. This is an ultimate edition that truly lives up to the name, and will make you forget about all previous issues of the film.

Drive By

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on February 24th, 2002

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Written By Kelly Stifora

Intro

This is an independent about a young Latino kid’s struggle to become a man in Chicago’s Little Village, where his older brother is the head of the Brotherhood, a local gang. A cast full of non-actors and a meandering, often-pointless script drag down this effort from first time director Jaun J. Fasto. And the trip to disc doesn’t save it.

Synopsis

The film opens with an intriguing murder scene, but it’s straight downhill from there. Ceaser O’Campo (Felipe Camacho), the young pro…
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Backyard Dogs

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on November 19th, 2001

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Intro

Um. Okay. If anyone ever asks you for a quick definition of “niche marketing,” hand them this DVD. Maybe it’s a sign that I’m hopelessly out of touch, but I’d never heard of backyard wrestling before now. If you’re like me, here’s your chance to correct that oversight.

Synopsis

Scott Hamm and Walter Emanuel Jones play ambitious backyard wrestlers (wrestlers who take part in amateur bouts staged in, yes, backyards). They enlist Bree Turner to film their exploits and market them ov…
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Made

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on November 16th, 2001

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Intro

It is so rare for a small film, such as MADE, to be given a blockbuster DVD release. This is one of the best low budget films I have seen in a long time (excluding Memento… which was the best). But unfortunately, Memento was not given a DVD release that did it justice, Made, on the other hand, did.

Synopsis

“In this reunion of Swingers co-stars Jon Favreau (making his feature directorial debut) and Vince Vaughn, the two star in a new Mob comedy set in the underbelly of N…
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Along for the Ride

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on November 12th, 2001

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Intro

Lo how the mighty have fallen. There was a time when Patrick Swayze and Melanie Griffith were A-level stars with a certain guaranteed box office. No more, it seems. Now they’re starring together in made-for-cable efforts like this one, originally titled Forever Lulu.

Synopsis

Melanie Griffith is a schizophrenic. Once, she and Patrick Swayze were an item, but that ended. Unbeknownst to him, she became pregnant, and put the child up for adoption. Now, fifteen years later, she leave…
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