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"No young man, no matter how great, can know his destiny. He cannot glimpse his part in the great story that is about to unfold. Like everyone, he must live and learn. And so it will be for the young warlock arriving at the gates of Camelot. A boy that will, in time, father a legend. His name ... Merlin."

Merlin. You know the name. It conjures up images of a white-haired old man with a long gray beard and a long pointed hat. His story is indeed legend. In the myths of Arthur and his Knights of the Round Table, he is destined to be the mentor to the King of Camelot. We've all heard the stories of the Sword in the Stone and the Age of Chivalry. Perhaps it is totally appropriate that this telling of Merlin come from British television. England is, after all, the origin of the fanciful legends.

The year is 2003. The War in Iraq is just underway, and its ripples are felt even in the small town of Port Gamble, Washington. Take, for instance, Frida (Janette Armand). Her father is Iranian, which is the same thing as Iraqi as far as everyone else is concerned, and furthermore her skin tone and ethnic background mean she is not a “real American” (to quote her numbskulled boyfriend) even though she was born in Port Gamble. Tom (Doug Fahl), meanwhile, has concerns less related to world affairs: he has returned to his home town, in the company of his boyfriend Lance (Cooper Hopkins), to come out to his mother, a prospect that fills him with dread. Then, just to complicate everybody's life, a zombie plague breaks out, bringing out the best and worst of everyone in town.

Zombies have been fodder for socio-political allegory all the way back to their first cinematic appearance (in their pre-flesh-eating days) in White Zombie (1932), where they were the exploited workers of Bela Lugosi's sugar cane mill. Director Kevin Hamedani and his co-writer Ramon Isao go into satirical overdrive with this effort. There is some very funny stuff here, along with plenty of over-the-top gore FX and likable protagonists. Unlike Dawn of the Dead and Shaun of the Dead, however, whose commentary emerges naturally from the story and characters, here the personalities and story have clearly been designed to fit the political points being made. Thus, though Frida, Tom and Lance are very engaging characters (if almost entirely defined by their ethnic or sexual minority identities), their non-zombified opponents are caricatures of conservatism, as hissable as they are stupid. Now, satire is, by its very nature, a savage art, and I'm all for both savagery and movies that aren't afraid to take a stand, but Hamedani and Isao run the risk of preaching to the choir here. With almost every line of dialogue slaved to the film's political points, we are entering the realm of the editorial cartoon. And though there's nothing wrong with that, it does mean that there isn't much to the film beyond those political points. Thus, one faction of the audience will simply have its views confirmed, while the other will be completely alienated, and it is doubtful that much thought will be provoked. As well, some of the gags are arguably a bit misjudged. The scene where Tom's mother eats her own eye owes its funny/nauseating vibe to Peter Jackson's Dead/Alive, and works well enough, but the moment where a little girl Frida is trying to help is splattered by a car is more problematic, depending on your tolerance for extreme splatstick. All that said, there's still plenty of sharp work from all concerned here.

A first-year film student named Yannick crosses paths with a black cat (literally) and crashes his bicycle, then knocks on the door of a family home in a nice neighborhood looking for assistance. A few minutes later he is held captive by a psychotic family, led by a patriarch who is convinced it is his life's duty to rid the world of those who are “not righteous.” As our hero Yannick slips between clawing desperation and clever tact in his attempts to escape he is offered a chance at freedom. Jacques, the head of the household, is an undefeated, nation-wide renowned Chess champion, and if Yannick can beat him once, he will be released.

This French-Canadian thriller grips you immediately and holds your attention captive throughout its duration. This film relies heavily on the performances of its leads and they deliver splendidly. Jacques does not appear strange in his psychosis, but calm for his character is convinced of his self-righteousness and his mission. His daughter, whom he is grooming to take over his work, acts out violently when her family is threatened but cannot bring herself to kill in the name of God. The mother has a soft-spot for their prisoner for he displayed great kindness to the youngest child, a small mute girl who quietly loathes her father.

C.O.P.S aired in 1988, one year after the debut of Robocop, and the future-cop theme and design is clearly influenced by Verhoven's violent satire. As a child I caught onto this influence immediately and a part of me always saw it as derivative (along with some Judge Dredd influence). Watching it now I get an eery knot in my stomach as I realize just how silly and loaded with slapstick this cartoon really is, and yet cannot help but still recognize the design influence of Robocop. Throughout there is this strange paradox of immensely threatening looking characters doing terribly silly things. One should expect these various behemoths to be murderers, rapists or just violent thugs (just look at the caricature grins most of them have and tell me I'm wrong) and yet they're stealing fur coats and cavemen and all have goofy voices....my brain takes a while to process all of this.

John Skillpa (Cillian Murphy) has been hopelessly damaged by the monstrous abuse his mother inflicted on him. As a result, he now has two separate personalities: John and Emma. John is a terminally shy bank clerk who exists as of 8:15 in the morning and for the duration of the work day. Emma takes care of the domestic chores and leave notes and meals for John. But one day, while Emma is doing the laundry, a derailed caboose blasts through the fence, revealing her existence to the town of Peacock. Everyone assumes she is John's wife. Coaxed out of her shell by Susan Sarandon, Emma gradually blossoms, much to the distress of John. When Ellen Page shows up with a young child and a dark revelation from John's past, the two personalities find themselves moving closer and closer towards a violent confrontation.

It is a testament to the work of director/co-writer Michael Lander and of Cillian Murphy (not for the first time making effective use of his androgynous looks) that one finds oneself increasingly viewing Skillpa as two entirely separate people as, bit by by, drop by drop, the suspense builds. Sympathy shifts back and forth between Emma and John, and by the end one can no more imagine Skillpa as a unified whole than one can decide which of the two halves is the “real” person. Touching and tense, this is a bizarre cross between Psycho and Our Town, and it somehow works very well indeed.

"Two years ago my son was taken from me. Since then I've lost everything: my job, my marriage, even my life. But I came back, and the dead came with me."

Despite its rather crass and offensive material, Drawn Together lasted three seasons and thirty six episodes before Comedy Central pulled the plug in March 2008. The show featured parodies of popular cartoon characters or archetypes and brought that together in a very funny style that delighted fans who were partial to shows such as Family Guy or Robot Chicken. So it was only natural that when the episodes ended, they would look to other production avenues, like direct to dvd.

*Warning. This review does have a little bit of salty language or describes risque situations. If you are a child, please do the right thing. Clear your browser history and cookies after you read this review. You have been warned, thank you.*

"Nothing worse than an old hippie, man."

When I think of Cheech & Chong, I am brought back to the 1970’s. It was then that the pair had their first success with an iconic brand of “stoner” comedy. Their LPs sold millions across the country. You didn’t have to be a stoner to appreciate the jokes. I was about as straight as they come, but I really loved listening to Cheech & Chong. The material was about more than just getting high. It was timely, at least it was then. It mirrored the culture that we could see from our own windows, and like all inspired comedy, it was relevant.

“Man lives in the sunlit world of what he believes to be reality. But there is, unseen by most, an underworld, a place that is just as real, but not so brightly lit, a darkside.”

Not since the likes of Rod Serling’s Twilight Zone or The Outer Limits has there been a really good sci-fi/horror anthology until 1984’s Tales. Not to say that each episode was a winner. In fact, most were pretty weak and relatively lame, but when this show was good, it was very good. These tales weren’t any ordinary specter spectaculars, but were told by spectacular story writers, directors, and producers. Look at just this first season, and you’ll find some of the top names in the field involved in one way or another. You’ll see the likes of Stephen King, Tom Savini, George Romero, Robert Bloch, Frank De Palma, and Harlan Ellison. The tales often came with a twist, or at least a big finale in the end. Much like a train’s headlight in a long tunnel, you might have seen it coming from a mile away, but it’s hard to avoid the impact.

Erle Stanley Gardner wrote crime fiction, and while many of his 100 or so works are unknown to most of us, he created a character that has become as identified with criminal lawyers as any other in fiction. It was in these crime novels that Perry Mason first faced a courtroom. He developed a style where he would investigate these terrible crimes his clients were on trial for. He would find the real killer, and in what has become a Hollywood cliché, reveal his findings in a crucial moment during the trial. While we may not remember the novels, we all remember the man in the persona of Raymond Burr.  Burr had a commanding presence on our screens and enjoyed a well deserved 11-year run as the clever lawyer. What makes this run so amazing is that the show followed pretty much the same pattern the entire time. We always know what’s going to happen, but we wait eagerly for that gotcha moment when Perry faces the witness on the stand. We know when he’s got the guy squarely in his sights, and we can’t sit still waiting for him to pull the trigger. OK, so maybe that’s a little over the top, but so was Perry Mason. From the moment you heard that distinctive theme, the stage was set. To say that Perry Mason defined the lawyer show for decades would be an understatement. Folks like Matlock and shows like The Practice are strikingly similar to Perry Mason. If you haven’t checked this show out, this is your chance. See where it all began.

At this rate, it’s going to be quite some time before you complete your collection. I’m not even sure that DVD will still be a viable format before the end of the series on DVD. It’s another half season, and the episodes continue to fly at us at a snail’s pace. But slow and steady wins the race, and as long as the quality episodes continue to deliver that classic Mason charm and style, I guess folks like us will continue to come back for more.