Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on January 14th, 2005
First off, let me say that if you have only seen Showgirls on VH-1, then you haven’t had the full experience. It’s bad on network television, but the sheer scope of how truly awful it is can only be experienced in the full, uncut version. Laughing at an idiot is one thing. Laughing at a naked idiot is something else entirely. It’s amazing how un-sexy this film really is. Showgirls is funny in the same way that it was funny to make fun of the fat kid riding in the front of the bus in Junior High. ...
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on January 13th, 2005
“All good things must come to an end…” Truer words have never been spoken, especially when it comes to describing what may be argued as the greatest epic ever produced for the silver screen. Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings trilogy has redefined excellence in movie making. The only other series that I can compare this accomplishment to is, not surprisingly, the original Star Wars trilogy in terms of the scope of what was accomplished – old fashioned story telling which captured its audience with ground...
Posted in: Disc Reviews by David Annandale on January 12th, 2005
Synopsis
Molly (Millie Perkins) is seriously disconnected from reality. She tells her two nephewswonderful tales about their grandfather, whom she declares a saint, even though we see (indisturbing flashbacks), that he repeatedly raped her. She also enjoys ogling well-built men andfantasizing about their violent deaths. But she doesn’t stop at fantasizing...
Well! Here she is, Anne Frank herself (from the 1959 film) all grown up and castrating menwith safety razors. This is ...
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on January 11th, 2005
De-Lovely is a musical bio-pic based on the life of Cole Porter. Now, Porter was an American genius, responsible for writing such song classics as “Love for Sale” and “Anything Goes”. Porter’s personal life was also legendary. He had a wife, but also had affairs with men. Porter also suffered a horse riding accident in the late 1930’s that debilitated him for the rest of his life (to his death in 1964). Sounds like the great makings of a movie, right? Well….
Kevin Kline plays Cole Porter, and h...
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on January 11th, 2005
The story of Troy and the warrior Achilles is the stuff of legends now brought to life by Wolfgang Peterson. With an ensemble cast including Brad Pitt, Eric Bana, Peter O’Toole, Brian Cox, Brendan Gleeson and Sean Bean there are only two things that can happen, magic or mediocrity. In this case I think we end up somewhere in between. Some scenes like the battle between Achilles and Hector is incredible while the storming of the beach at Troy is almost downright laughable. Overall though the film works I just wish it ...
Posted in: Disc Reviews by David Annandale on January 8th, 2005
Synopsis
China is under the rule of the Ching dynasty, who send out assassins to kill anyone whochallenges the regime. Greatest of these assassins is the blind master of the flying guillotine. Hesets out to kill the One-Armed Boxer (don’t ask me why all these guys have disabilities). Thecharacters come together at a huge martial arts tournament (this is where Mortal Kombatcomes from, kiddies). The plot is no more developed than that of a typical porno. The film’sreason for be...
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 31st, 2004
On the DVD cover of The Door in the Floor, the writing promises “surprises”, “shocks”, and “cuts like a knife”. One would think this movie would be a thriller. False advertising can get you nowhere. The Door in the Floor is far from a thriller, but more in the meditation on love, loss, and loneliness genre. Jeff Bridges and Kim Basinger star as a dysfunctional married couple. Things are far from blissful. Bridges is a writer of children’s fiction; Basinger is, well, I’m not sure what she does. Bu...
Posted in: Disc Reviews by David Annandale on December 29th, 2004
Synopsis
Shaun (co-writer Simon Pegg) is on the cusp of his thirties, and still has growing up to do.He and girlfriend Liz wind up in the Winchester pub every night, and she’s sick of it, much to thedelight of her roommates Liz and David (the latter being an insufferable twit who pines for Liz).His best friend Ed is a pig, and has crashed permanently in Shaun’s house, much to thedispleasure of his housemate, Pete. Liz dumps Shaun, who thinks his life is over. Then, hegradually becom...
Posted in: Disc Reviews by David Annandale on December 21st, 2004
Synopsis
Set in the near future, well before the Alien films but after the Predatorfranchise, AVP has a group of scientists and security experts in the pay of the LanceHenriksen (Weyland, of the Weyland-Utani Corporation that plays such an important role in theAlien films) arrive in Antarctica. Here they find a pyramid buried deep in the ice, whichturns out to be a Predator training site. A trio of these creatures arrives for training, but thehumans have ...
Posted in: Disc Reviews by David Annandale on December 21st, 2004
Synopsis
After fifteen years in the service of the Roman army in Britain, Lancelot (Ioan Gruffudd) andother knights of the round table look forward to being released and returning to their homelandof Samartia. Their leader, Arthur (Clive Owen), pines for Rome. But one last rescue missionturns into a nightmare, and then the Saxons invade. Gradually, our heroes discover that they lovetheir adopted country, and Arthur has his illusions about Rome destroyed one by one.
The look ...
