Video

Killing Kind, The

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on March 23rd, 2004

Synopsis

Andrew Howard is Jon, brutally effective hit man for The Tattooed Man (David Calder). Hehates himself, but loves father-figure Calder, and so he goes about his murderous business,seeking refuge in drug-induced oblivion after work. Then he runs into a old friend from school,is welcomed into his family, is tempted by the sheer normality that he sees there, and begins tofall in love with his old pal’s wife (Geraldine O’Rawe). Hit man and Tattooed Man are soon ona deadly collis…
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Pirates of Tortuga

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on March 23rd, 2004

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Synopsis

Bloodthirsty pirate Henry Morgan (Robert Stevens) is starving Jamaica by seizing almostany ship that tries to make it there. He seems impregnable in his fortress on the island of Tortuga.Privateer Captain Bart (Ken Scott) arrives to find some way to defeat Morgan. His journey to theCaribbean is complicated somewhat by the presence of stowaway Meg (Leticia Roman), aspririted…er… wench… who has dreams of being a lady.

You always thought My Fair Lady would…
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Heart of Me, The

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on March 23rd, 2004

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Synopsis

In 1934, Helena Bonham Carter comes to live with sister Olivia Williams and her husband,Paul Bettany. Bonham Carter is the bad girl, always rebellious, while Wiliams is very proper andsomething of a cold fish. Williams wants to fix her sister up with a man, but she clearly didn’tcount on that man being her husband. Bettany and Bonham Carter begin a furtive affair, whichtakes a sudden turn when she becomes pregnant. Flash forward to 1946. Bettany appears to havebeen killed i…
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Brother Bear

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on March 22nd, 2004

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Brother Bear is the story of a boy who becomes a man by becoming a bear. Kenai (Joaquin Phoenix) is a young man set on revenge against a bear he feels is responsible for his brother’s death. Going up against the beast and winning the battle, the great Spirits who guide Kenai transform him into a bear himself. As Kenai tries to undo the spell placed on him by the spirits, he meets Koda (Jeremy Suarez) a young cub who was separated from his mother. As the story unfolds Kenai becomes more find of Koda and “adopts…
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Pink Panther Collection, The

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on March 22nd, 2004

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Synopsis

Though not Blake Edwards’ best films, these are the movies with which he is most stronglyidentified, and the role of Inspector Clouseau was a career-defining move for Peter Sellers. Attheir best, the movies are fine exemplars of inspired slapstick.

The Pink Panther started it all off, and no one knew what a phenomenon Clouseauwas going to turn out to be. Edwards and Sellers (the trivia track informs us) rewrote the partlate in the game to turn the character i…
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Deadly Little Secrets

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on March 22nd, 2004

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Deadly Little Secrets has a secret. Shhhhhh. It’s a direct to DVD feature. So the only way you can see it is by renting it. Should you? I dunno. It’s a B movie with a B movie plot, but with pretty good technical components.

The plot starts off with a murder, and the brother (of course) has to get to the bottom of it. Craig Sheffer plays the brother, and he’s bland in a beefcake main character sort of way. There’s a really bad doctor (Dylan Walsh) who is injecting football players with letha…
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Pendulum

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on March 22nd, 2004

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What do a string of prostitute murders, lesbian vigilantes, a sexually confused cop, a senate race, a prominent prosecutor turned law professor, and a law school dropout have in common? After watching Pendulum you will be asking the same questions. Seldom have I seen a more disjointed collection of clichés and bad acting in one film outside of an Ed Wood film festival. Rachel Hunter might have been a gorgeous supermodel but like so many before her she’s just not believable here. Many of the aforementioned sins might …
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Just One of the Guys

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on March 22nd, 2004

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The 1970’s and 80’s brought a ton of teenage angst films where coming of age simply meant having sex. Just One Of The Guys attempts to be a bit more original, but while the premise was, the film is certainly not. I know there was a bit of a cult following for the film, but it was mostly lost in the barrage of superior films of the year. It’s no wonder that Columbia saw fit to release this disc with so little care. Fellow herpers will take delight in one character who brings in a different reptile to school each day. …
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Lizzie McGuire – Star Struck (Volume 3)

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on March 20th, 2004

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A couple of years ago, my wife and I found ourselves watching an episode of The Lizzie McGuire Show on a lazy Saturday morning, when nothing else was on. While we are certainly not the target market, we were both pleased to find that the half-hour was genuinely entertaining. Saturday mornings are a perfect time to watch this show, as it is mildly humorous, yet still benign enough that you don’t really have to get your brain working to enjoy it. It has since become a fairly-regular part of our weekend routine.< ...
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Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on March 20th, 2004

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Synopsis

In 1973, a group of Young, Beautiful People are on the way across Texas to a rock concert.They pick up a hitch-hiker: a terrified young woman who commits suicide when she thinks she isbeing driven back to the place she just fled. Seeking help in a nearby house, our heroesunfortunately come into contact with Leatherface and his clan, and the slaughter begins.

Though there are some variations, the plot, in is broad lines, is very close to the 1973original. And therein…
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Brotherhood III, The – Young Demons

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on March 19th, 2004

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The biggest compliment that I can pay to this film is that I have seen worse. The acting is bad, but not painful. The plot is sub-par, but not entirely horrible. The dialog is forced, but not filled with bad teenage slang. Yes, this is a horrible film, but I have seen worse.

Truth be told, The Brotherhood III is more like an excruciatingly long short film. The main emotion that I felt as I moved through this disc was… boredom. Huge segments of the film are simply without dialog or action of any kind….
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Panic Room

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on March 19th, 2004

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Not that there was anything wrong with the picture and sound of the previous Superbit release. But now Panic Room returns in a package that truly contains every imaginable extra, and then some.

Synopsis

The set-up is elegant and simple. Jodie Foster and daughter Kristen Stewart move into their new home in New York. The previous owner built an impregnable panic room in the upper floor. During Foster and Stewart’s first night, three criminals (Forest Whitaker, Dwight Yoakam and Jared L…
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Doctor Who – The Three Doctors

Posted in Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on March 19th, 2004

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Most American Doctor Who fans are most familiar with the Tom Baker Who. There is no question he added a flair to the role. In this 10th Anniversary special episode we get to see the first 3 Doctors in action. John Pertwee was the current Who. He teams up mostly with 2nd Doctor Patrick Troughton. The first Doctor was played by William Hartnell and was limited to view screen images as he was quite aged and ill. The idea would occur again with the 5 Doctors to celebrate 20 years of Doctor Who. The story is a bit contriv…
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Looney Tunes – Back in Action

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on March 17th, 2004

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Back in the day, the Looney Tunes were irreverent, violent, and created with an adult audience in mind (much like South Park is today). Somewhere along the line, however, values changed, and they became standard kids faire. Now, that’s not to say that there wasn’t still plenty in there for adults to enjoy as well, but they just didn’t carry with them the same humorous social commentaries that were prevalent in the days of old.

Well, the Tunes are back! The appropriately-titled Looney Tunes – Back …
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Ripley’s Game

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on March 17th, 2004

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Synopsis

John Malkovich plays Tom Ripley in this incarnation. He is living a life of luxury in Italy,house in a palatial villa with his harpsichordist wife. Two events disrupt his comfortableexistence: the unwelcome re-emergence of former colleague-in-crime Ray Winstone, and a aninsult at a part from leukemia-ridden picture framer Dougray Scott. Winstone wants a criminalrival eliminated, and Ripley, vengeance on his mind, decides that the innocent Scott is just theperson to be manip…
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Baby Einstein – Baby MacDonald

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on March 17th, 2004

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Let’s get one thing straight right off the bat… this is a title intended for viewing by small children. Very small children. As a result, all of my usual judging criteria (picture quality, sound quality, character development) are pretty much unimportant. The target audience for this title has trouble forming words, so I am willing to bet that the more subtle nuances of the narrative will be lost on them. Nevertheless, I will continue on as best as I can.

If you are still reading this, you are most likely a…
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Frightening, The

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on March 16th, 2004

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The Frightening, as the DVD cover says, is “a new class of horror”. This play on words foreshadows the premise of the movie. There’s a “new kid” at Hallows End High School. His name is Corey (Matt Twining), and he’s having a few problems “adjusting”. Corey has a “past”. But that’s not the “real” problem of this school. Okay…I’ll stop using quotation marks. The major problem at Hallows End High School, nicknamed “Halloween High” (sorry…I couldn’t stop), is that the corpses are piling up. Someone…or som…
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Little Red

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on March 16th, 2004

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Film

Ah, Baltimore. The Inner Harbor, Camden Yards, Preakness, corrupt government officials, devastating crime rate, as well as a nasty STD epidemic to boot. You gotta love my hometown. But what Baltimore has in negative traits, it makes up for it with creativity. If you have caught HBO’s The Corner or The Wire, you see that Baltimore’s issues can make for captivating television. While Little Red isn’t on the level of these excellent shows, it does have a certain level of amateur charm …
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Circuit, The

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on March 16th, 2004

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Film

Remember the B-Movie kick-fests of the late 1980’s and early 1990’s? You know… the ones where plot and acting come in a distant second to the well staged fight scenes? The Circuit tries to harken back to the genre of that time, but ultimately falls flat on its face like a punch drunk boxer.

Dirk Longstreet (Olivier Gruner) is the former champion of an illegal underground fighting circuit. He has tried to put those days behind him by becoming an athletics instructor at a college…
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Sword of the Valiant: The Legend of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on March 16th, 2004

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Synopsis

King Arthur (Trevor Howard) is disgusted with the decadent state of his court. During abanquet, as the once great knights are berated by their king, a mysterious Green Knight (SeanConnery) storms in. He challenges anyone to chop of his head, as long as he gets the secondblow. No one takes up the gauntlet but Gawain (Miles O’Keeffe), a young squire. Knighted forhis bravery, Gawain decapitates the Green Knight, who then promptly screws his own head backon. He doesn’t kill Gaw…
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Vampire Effect

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on March 16th, 2004

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Synopsis

Vampire slayer Reeve takes on a new partner in a young woman named Gypsy. As Reevetrains Gypsy in the art of killing the undead (of which there seems to be a constant plague),Reeve’s sister Helen is starting up a new relationship with Kazef, who just happens to be theFifth Prince of Vampires. Kazef is a nice enough sort, however, limiting himself to bottled blood,and genuinely in love with Helen. Unfortunately, the Duke, a European vampire, is killing offthe other royal families, g…
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Circuit 2, The

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on March 16th, 2004

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If you were one of the few of people who were waiting with bated breath for a sequel to the low-budget laugher, The Circuit, well thank your lucky stars because the day has finally come. If you sense sarcasm, you are right, because The Circuit 2 is even more of a stink-fest than the original, which is a feat in and of its self.

When we last left Dirk Longstreet (Olivier Gruner), he was recovering from infiltrating an underground fighting circuit to save his brother who had become wrapped up i…
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Grapes of Wrath, The

Posted in Disc Reviews by David Annandale on March 15th, 2004

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Synopsis

Henry Fonda is Tom Joad, returning home after serving four years in prison for killing aman. He arrives to find the farms of Oklahoma devastated by drought, and all the familiesdispossessed of their land. He and his family become part of the great migration from the DustBowl to the Eden of California. There they face exploitation, persecution and misery, andFonda’s rage at the injustice grows.

John Steinbeck’s enormous novel found a stunning screen incarnation in th…
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Sand

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on March 13th, 2004

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Synopsis

Michael Vartan plays Tyler Briggs, a man who separates from his redneck family in order to leave the past behind him and start a new life for himself. Following the passing of his mother, his father tries to re-establish contact with him and tracks him to his new home, a secluded beach town where he spent time as a child. Accompanying his father are his law breaking brothers who continue their lawless ways after Tyler decides not to return to their ways. They assault his girlfriend and bruta…
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Cyborg 009 – Uncut & Unedited

Posted in Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on March 13th, 2004

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Cyborg 009 (pronounced zero zero nine, not double oh nine) is a show about a group of people who are half-human and half-robot – a.k.a. cyborgs. Abducted and experimented on against their will, these cyborgs are revolting against the person who made them, the evil Black Ghost.

This show has the look of an old fashion anime program. Based on a manga strip that started in 1969, the character designs are from that era, with exaggerated facial features (most evidently big noses), sleek lines and big feet. B…
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