Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 22nd, 2005
Synopsis
In the year 2000, the United States (and much of the rest of the world, it seems) is under the dictatorial rule of Mr. President, and the masses are kept passive with the Transcontinental road race, where the competitors must not only race from the remains of New York to the remains of LA in record time, but kill as many pedestrians as possible. Chief rivals are fan favourite Frankenstein (David Carradine) and the villainous Machine Gun Joe Viterbo (Sylvester Stallone).
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 21st, 2005
Where does Dukes of Hazzard fall on the spectrum of TV show adaptations? Somewhere in the middle, which came as a surprise. I expected a stupid flick with no entertainment value, but I got a stupid flick with more than a few glimmers of amusement. The film’s plot borders on irrelevant, but I’ll recap it anyway. The flick focuses on the adventures of cousins Bo (Seann William Scott) and Luke (Johnny Knoxville) Duke. They deliver moonshine for their Uncle Jesse (Willie Nelson), and Bo also succeeds as a local ra...e driver. He looks forward to his fifth consecutive victory in the annual Hazzard County road race. However, an obstacle arrives when former four-time champion – and now pro driver – Billy Prickett (James Roday) returns to compete.
It turns out he’s there to create a diversion for local mogul Boss Hogg (Burt Reynolds). Hogg frames the Dukes to take over their land, and they learn that he’s done the same to claim other connected properties. With the aid of their sexy cousin Daisy (Jessica Simpson) and others, Bo and Luke attempt to find out Hogg’s plan and stop it. Along the way, they try to avoid law enforcement authorities and score with some babes – oh, and Bo still wants to win that race.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 21st, 2005
The kick in the nuts that was Fame the television series is now the kick in the nuts that is Fame - The Complete First Season on DVD. And let me tell you, it hasn't become any better over the course of time. Based off a film of the same name, this mess of a TV show follows the lives of students at New York's High School for the Arts. Most of the dialogue and situations are beyond predictable, and the cheesy early eighties soundtrack is as green and moldy as a block of Colby left out in the sun too long. As far as the students themselves are concerned, there's Danny the comedian; Julie the cellist; Bruno the composer; Coco the singer; and Leroy the dancer... and all lack the talent these shoddy scripts want you to believe they have.
The teachers fare no better. Led by Debbie Allen, who also handles choreography for the series, these educational gurus mostly seem like they're doing their best Mr. Chips impersonation after watching that far superior film a couple of times in preparation for the roles. In all fairness, neither students nor teachers have much to work with. The scripts are as inspired as a high school kid sacking groceries at the local supermarket. Given the time period in which it was created and the poor results of a limited budget, I kept hoping Fame would turn into a slasher movie somewhere along the way. It certainly has the characterization of one. But instead of seeing these obnoxious actors knocked off one-by-one in gory and satisfying fashion, their runaway personalities just go on and on and on for nearly sixteen hours, making for one of the worst shows in the history of television.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 20th, 2005
Note: the following synopsis contains spoilers. Only read this first section if you know have happens in season four.
The Fourth Season of 24 begins with a deadly terrorist strike resulting in the kidnapping of Jack Bauer's new boss, the U.S. Secretary of Defense James Heller (William Devane). Even though Mr. Bauer was dismissed from his job at the Counter Terrorist Unit in Los Angeles at the end of Season Three, it comes as no real surprise that Robo-Jack is called back into action. We quickly l...arn that this kidnapping of Heller is just the beginning of trouble for Jack and CTU. The main villian is master-mind Habib Marwan (Arnold Vosloo) the middle eastern terrorist cell leader the US government has been trying to track down for years.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on December 20th, 2005
Charlie was a British effort in the typical gangster style. It begins more like an A&E biography. Various characters from the film with ties to Charlie appear to be giving their insights on the man for a documentary camera. Charlie Richardson, it appears, was one of Britain’s most infamous gangsters. The film, directed by Malcolm Reeds, no relationship to a certain starship tactical officer, tries hard to be another Goodfellas. The film utilizes the same style of retrospective narration. There’s also the trademark period songs and freeze-frame on a particularly violent image. There’s enough rough language to fill a South Park feature film. In addition to the American mob clichés the film is riddled by more than bullets. Typical dry British humor abounds and appears entirely out of place in an otherwise brutal depiction of character. Although I found the film highly derivative and inconsistent, I must admit that at times it was quite entertaining. Like watching a train wreck, it was often difficult not to be drawn to the film’s exploitive portrayals.
The film has an annoying habit of abruptly switching time periods without much warning or visual clue. We find ourselves often enough in Charlie’s younger days. These transitions are seamless; in fact that is the whole problem. They are too seamless. It requires far too much attention to detail to know where you are in the timeline. The film also resorts to stylized cinematic distractions such as multi-frames during some of the trial sequences. The frames are completely unnecessary and require the viewers to again remove themselves from the flow of the action.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on December 20th, 2005
It was an excitable time for this young 13 year old boy. No matter where you were in the house, the sound came to you. No matter what you were doing, it drew you to the living room television. No matter how bad things were going, that sound brought a smile to your face. Mike Post’s opening theme for The Rockford Files has to be one of the best in television history, and it lingers in my mind as a precious anthem of days gone by.
He was every young boy’s hero. How could you resist James Rockford? He had the toughness of Dirty Harry. Yet, beneath it all, he was terribly flawed and even a little naive. Why is it that after the hundreds of TV detectives that have crossed our paths a small handful endear themselves to the pop culture? The answer is simple. Every once in a while an actor combines with strong writers and creates a character with incredible heart and soul. We can’t imagine anyone else playing the part. Peter Falk accomplished it with Columbo. In recent years Tony Shalhoub has graced us with Monk. You can’t complete such a list without James Garner and his alter ego, Rockford.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 19th, 2005
Synopsis
A prehistoric crocodile is genetically resurrected (using the Jurassic Park treatment, one assumes, though one is never told), supposedly because its growth hormone will solve world hunger (more or less the scenario that led to giant grasshoppers in Beginning of the End, and that was 1957). Anyway, the titular dinocroc gets loose from the sinister corporation’s lab, and starts gobbling up the nearby population. It’s up to Aussic crocodile hunter Costas Mandylor (Your Guide To Quality ...ilm) along with the local animal control officer and her welder/artist boyfriend to stop the beast.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 18th, 2005
Synopsis
I would hope that with films like The Wedding Date, that the genre of films set around weddings is over and done with. There’s nothing left to mine, the horse is very dead, and in this case, the film is rather predictable. Or to put in another way, my wife said “this film will probably be stupid, but I’ll like it”. And when I was watching parts of the film, the story was so easy to follow that I could go and make a batch of chili, come back, and be caught up to the story.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 18th, 2005
Synopsis
After years of answering questions running along the lines of "When are you guys going to make a movie?" X-Files creator Chris Carter and stars David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson decided, in lieu of taking the time off between TV seasons 4 and 5, to go ahead and start production on a feature-length movie and a place in the summer blockbuster arena.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on December 18th, 2005
Synopsis
Thankfully, as part of Criterion’s desire to be completists of the Akira Kurosawa collection, they have finally decided to release Ran on DVD. For the sake of time, I’ll include my thoughts of the film based on my review of the Kurosawa boxed set, which included a previous version of Ran:
