Lindsay Lohan plays sassy Nancy Drew wanna be Lexy Gold. When one of her teachers goes missing (played by Ian Gomez), Lexy enlists her "hip" friends to help her crack the case. Another vehicle for Lohan. It's a little boring, and the mystery plays out on the level of a Saved By the Bell episode. The point of the movie is to point out they sassiness of Lohan. She's sooo hip. Like...totally.

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Swimming Upstream is one of those "small" sports underdog films. It's a true story about Aussie Tony Fingleton, a swimmer who vies to be National champion. Is he racing against all odds? Well...the odds are in the form of family. Geoffrey Rush plays Fingleton's father, an abusive alcholic. So...not only is Fingleton trying to achieve athletic glory, but also trying to win the heart of his father. This is a paint by numbers sports story. The performances are the saving grace, however. Rush, Jesse Spencer ...playing the swimmer), and the always wonderful Judy Davis are all excellent.

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Christian Bale plays Patrick Bateman, Wall Street dealer and psychotic. He, like his peers, is completely obsessed with surfaces, narcissistic beyond all measure, and about as deep as a sheet of mylar (and his extended exegesis on the music of Huey Lewis and the News doesn’t help make him seem smarter, despite what he thinks). He rapes and murders with impunity, but after all, isn’t that the 80s ethic in a nutshell?

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Inspired by the Grant Wood painting, “American Gothic” is a 24-minute experimental horror short. Director Carlos Batts explains in his intro that the idea is that the farmer in the Wood painting killed his wife, and is now consumed by guilt. This is conveyed through a collage of surreal images, mixing Magritte, Goth and splatter, with a soundtrack that mixes portentous poetry and death metal/industrial rock. The latter isn’t a completely successful fit, partly because of audio limitations (s...e below), but also because some of those scenes begin to resemble a fairly conventional rock video. Intriguing work all the same.

“In the criminal justice system the people are represented by two separate, yet equally important groups: the police who investigate crime and the district attorneys who prosecute the offenders …” If you haven’t seen Law and Order, this is the set to begin with. Season 3 is most notable as the first year for Jerry Orbach. His 11 years in the role of Briscoe gave this revolving door series the kind of stability it needed. The powers that be at Universal added confusion to the mix when it released season 14 following season 2. I suspect the move was intended to deal with the unfortunate death of Orbach. His final season was obviously a “hot” item. Fortunately it now appears the releases will continue again from the show’s beginning.

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Another cog in the Disney/Winnie the Pooh machine comes to life here, as Pooh’s Heffalump Movie brings back all the characters you love for a story about acceptance, no matter what you look like.

The Parent Trap is a remake of the Hayley Mills classic. It stars none other than Lindsday Lohan. She's actually pretty good here. In a pre-sex appeal role, Lohan plays two twins who have never met, but then do. They concoct a plan to switch identies on their respective divorced parents. Lohan pulls off both twin personalities quite well. The movie also stars the always reliable Dennis Quaid and the extremely talented Natasha Richardson. It might be fun for kids, and Lohan fans, but this is NOT a case of...the remake being better than the original. It's an okay movie, and way too long.

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Without a doubt, Bob Hope was one of (if not) the best comedic actors of his era. During a time after Charlie Chaplin had peaked in silent films, Hope picked up the comedic torch, and during a time where actors consistently appeared in 3-5 films a year, and an early recognizable title was 1940’s Road to Singapore, the first of several Road To films with him and friends Bing Crosby and Dorothy Lamour.

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Aaron Jacob Estes’ film Mean Creek has been favorably compared to films like River’s Edge and in a sense, Lord of the Flies, for obvious reasons, and that’s not a bad thing. Written and directed by Estes, the film begins with Sam (Rory Culkin, Signs), who “borrows” a camcorder owned by George (Josh Peck, Spun), and gets beaten up for it. Sam’s brother Rocky (Trevor Morgan, The Patriot) steps in as the protective, bigger brother and does a little scheming.>

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The only thing I really remembered about Murder, She Wrote was that as a young American child, I used to see it being advertised after 60 Minutes and before a TV movie starring Tori Spelling or something. It would bother me even more because these ads were being announced by a semi-drunk pro football announcer, and put a damper on whatever football game I was watching. Enough with the plugs and get back to the action!