"What we do in life echoes in eternity."

What Ridley Scott does often echoes quite nicely at the box office. In 2000 Ridley Scott released Gladiator, starring Russell Crowe as the Roman Legion turned gladiator that ended in a fight to return Rome to the Senate and its citizens. Maximus fought gallantly and fell just short of his goal. But the story that the film wove was truly a masterpiece and stands as one of my top 10 films of all time, up there with Unforgiven and the first two Godfather films. I've often said in these pages that expectations kill, and I was well prepared for that to be the result when I sat down to the press screening for Gladiator II. Scott himself calls this the best film he's ever made. That's a big boast coming from the guy who brought us Alien, Blade Runner, and, of course, the original Gladiator. I disagree. While I found Gladiator II to be an impressive film from every perspective, it didn't quite make me feel the way I did when I left the theater for the first time after seeing Gladiator. But take heart. It's a damn good movie, and it's a can't-miss for any true film fans out there in the arena. The question is pretty simple. Are we not entertained? The answer is, "oh yeah".

It has been a while since I’ve seen a movie as clever and as bonkers as Hundreds of Beavers. This is a movie that no studio would ever consider doing; it’s a fun and wild homage to the silent film era and the old B&W cartoons, most notably the Warner Brothers cartoons. But really this film is more than that. It is rich with so much slapstick influence, while visually it’s a marvel with its use of miniatures and creating images that make it look like cell animation that has come to life … all while looking like a film that a group of friends got together and decided to make. On a surface level this film seems like it would fail, but after the first 15 minutes I was mesmerized and in love. I’d imagine the casual filmgoer would take a look at this film and immediately check out, and that’s fine. This is a movie for a niche audience and is destined for cult status … It’s funny … It’s weird … But what’s it all about?

The film kicks off with Jean Kayak (Ryland Brickson Cole Tews), an apple farmer who has his business destroyed by a group of beavers. Months later while trying to survive in the harsh winter, Jean struggles to find food, that is until a kind hunter takes him under his wing. But it isn’t long before a new threat comes along and Jean is left on his own again.  I should mention that the animals in the film (raccoons, beavers, dogs, rabbits, etc.) are played by mascots … yes, people in costumes, and this only adds to the fun absurdity of the film. There is also the Merchant (Doug Mancheski) who Jean goes to for supplies. The Merchant has a daughter who Jean is fond of, but he has to prove himself to the father in order to ask for her hand in marriage. Just how does he need to prove himself, you may ask? Well, Jean has to become an accomplished trapper and bring the merchant “hundreds of beavers”. What ensues is a hilarious but repetitive quest we see Jean go on to kill all these beavers. There’s more to the story, and when this gets into the third act, it takes a fun little twist and just manages to get even crazier until the credits roll.

At first glance it would appear that the crew for Red One is made up of folks who have had long associations with Dwayne Johnson, from director Jack Kasdan, who also directed two of the Jumanji films, to writer Chris Morgan, who wrote many of The Fast And Furious films including the Johnson-led spin-off Hobbs And Shaw. He also wrote the last Shazam film, which led to Johnson's spin-off black hole Black Adam. It's a working environment friendly to the actor. But the rumors from this set are loaded with tales of Johnson blowing off work and/or showing up late and unprepared. It's honestly not his usual vibe, and when you consider his divorce from Fast And The Furious's Vin Diesel revolved around Johnson throwing the same kind of shade on that actor's behavior, I was curious if the on-set issues and also word of a ballooning budget would show up on the finished product. I'm happy to report there doesn't appear to be any disrupted chemistry on the film, and it became easy to dismiss all of that with just a few minutes on the Red One ride. It's nearing Christmas, and every year a film or two vies for that potential future classic position that I don't honestly think has been achieved since the 1980's and A Christmas Story. I'd say the next most recent might be the Dickens romp The Man Who Invented Christmas. In any case. I won't be adjusting my traditional holiday viewing to accommodate Red One. That doesn't mean there isn't some fun to be had.

We first meet Jack, played by Captain America himself, Chris Evans, as a guy who is definitely ending up on the "naughty" list. This is the kind of lowlife who takes candy from babies ... literally. There's nothing but coal slated for this guy's stocking. He's a good tracker and bounty hunter, and part of what makes him so good is that he doesn't care what he has to do to bring in his guy. On the other side of the equation we have J.K. Simmons, playing a typical mall Santa. It's Simmons' second time playing jolly St. Nick. He voiced him in the 2019 animated feature Klaus. This mall Santa ain't no typical Santa, it turns out. He's got a huge bodyguard team that looks and acts like the Secret Service (just not when they're guarding Donald Trump). It's a well-oiled machine, and at its head is Callum Drift, played by Johnson. Turns out this is the real St. Nick, codenamed Red One, and he happens to enjoy getting out there with the real people during the holiday season. This is going to be Callum's last Christmas in charge. He has just lost that Christmas spirit, and the dickens of the thing is he's just not having fun anymore. He sees that "naughty" list grow and has kind of lost faith in humanity himself.  Nick tries to talk him out of it, but that show has closed. It's a normal everyday Christmas prep back at the North Pole until someone breaches the security dome that protects and hides the magical land that brings Christmas to the hopeful boys and girls every year. They grabbed Nick, and now he's got to be found before Christmas rounds begin. And this doesn't do a lot to strengthen Callum's faith in humanity a lot, either. Neither will his future partner.