Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on October 13th, 2009
What do a messy divorce and a clan of flesh eating cannibals have in common? Well, in both cases someone gets their heart eaten out. They also share plot points in Offspring. Lionsgate brings back their popular Ghost House Underground series from last October. The series title likely borrows a bit from the old Grind House Theater that Quentin Tarantino brought back to fashion in the last couple of years. I assume it is intended to denote a horror film that skirts the art house scene. So, how does Offspring fit into that mold?
If you’re looking for a plot, you really shouldn’t look at this one too closely. It’s more of a set up and then let the cannibal carnage begin. After a quick scare shot we’re introduced to a young family who live in a relatively isolated house in Dead River County, Maine. A friend has arrived with her young son on the run from an abusive husband who was about to get served his divorce papers today. Of course, he’s not taking it lying down, and phones to say he’s on his way. Mom’s got a restraining order, so the solution here is an easy one. Call the local cops. Unfortunately the local police already have their hands full. Another family has just been massacred. It seems an old trouble has returned to Dead River County. Enter former Sheriff George Chandler (Art Hindle). (To make things more complicated, the character’s name was apparently changed from George Peters. So, if you look up the character on the IMDb, that’s what you’ll get.) Chandler was Sheriff 11 years ago when he faced a nomadic clan of cannibals that rained down some serious carnage in the small county. He took care of ‘bidness and thought he sent them all to cannibal heaven. Now it seems there were survivors who had worked their way up to Canada and have returned for dessert. What remains of the clan are mostly young children and barely adults. Play ball.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on October 12th, 2009
“On the full moon of the seventh lunar month, the gates of Hell open and the spirits of the dead are freed to roam among the living” – Chinese Myth.
I wonder if there’s a roaming charge on that plan. Lionsgate brings back their popular Ghost House Underground series from last October. The series title likely borrows a bit from the old Grind House Theater that Quentin Tarantino brought back to fashion in the last couple of years. I assume it is intended to denote a horror film that skirts the art house scene and Seventh Moon certainly fits that description. This is absolutely the kind of horror film you might expect to encounter at Sundance or an independent horror film festival.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Michael Durr on October 9th, 2009
My history with romantic comedies is not a good one. Okay, I cried at the Notebook. *Looks nervously at the man card floating in his wallet*. So, what I cried at Rocky and Bloodsport too. I feel better now. But normally, I look at romantic comedies and want nothing to do with them. But every once in a while, along comes a romantic comedy with a decent cast and a somewhat different story. Even though I can see the ending coming a mile away, hopefully the journey there is interesting and thoughtful.
Andrew Paxton (played by Ryan Reynolds) is the best assistant in the world. He gets to work on time, he always has the right latte for his boss, and his shirt always looks perfect (even if it is borrowed from a co-worker). He works at Colden Books, a publishing company and his dream is to become an editor, especially after three years of being an assistant. He is an assistant to the executive editor-in-chief Margaret Tate (played by Sandra Bullock).
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on October 7th, 2009
Of the many films based on books by prolific writer Stephen King, Misery ranks near the top. Falling somewhere between the horror and thriller genres, this film about a twisted obsession is frightening because the premise seems very real.
Directed by Rob Reiner (A Few Good Men), who first visited King territory with his 1986 film Stand By Me, Misery tells the story of romance writer Paul Sheldon (James Caan, Elf) and the fan who rescues him after a car accident.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on October 7th, 2009
“Magic Mirror on the wall, who is the fairest one of all?”
Years ago a news magazine, I don’t remember which, conducted a survey. They discovered that more adults knew the names of the 7 Dwarfs than could name 7 figures in the federal government, including President, Vice-President, Senate, House of Representatives, and The Supreme Court. They say our educations begin very young. Well, since 1937 our youths have been entertained by Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on October 7th, 2009
“For more than 150 million years dinosaurs roamed every corner of the planet. Only a very few left evidence of their existence, their fossilized bones. And, those bones have never ceased to fascinate us.”
The box art to the new IMAX Blu-ray release of Dinosaurs Alive is more than a little bit misleading. The package elicits an image of thundering prehistoric beasts engaged in all sorts of primeval activities. And why not? It’s the stuff of our youth’s imaginations. Has there ever been a more fascinating true story than dinosaurs? But, if you’re expecting, or worse hoping, to get a high definition experience somewhat akin to the Walking With Dinosaurs specials, you’re apt to be more than a little bit disappointed. And that’s actually a bit of a shame, because there are wonders to behold here, just not that kind. Instead the documentary takes you to the places where these stories once unfolded so many millions of years ago. There you’ll encounter these beasts, though not in the flesh, but in the bone. Paleontologists invite you along to some of the most fruitful dinosaur graveyards. There the past is uncovered one brushstroke at a time. And while incredibly fascinating in itself, it’s not exactly the high drama I was expecting.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on October 2nd, 2009
“In the future, a computer program called Skynet will declare war on the human race. Machines have traveled back in time taking human form to terminate John Connor, the future leader of the resistance; Sarah Connor, John’s mother, teacher, and protector; Cameron, a terminator reprogrammed to defend them at all costs; Derek Reese, John’s uncle and a commanding officer with the resistance. Together they fight to stop Skynet from ever being created. The battle for our tomorrow starts today.”
Well actually, to be perfectly honest, it started back in October of 1984 with the release of James Cameron’s blockbuster Terminator. It was the story of a future Armageddon and a machine sent back in time to make sure it happens by killing the mother of the unborn leader of a future resistance. No one saw the success coming, but come it did. With just over a $6 million budget the film brought in over $38 million in the domestic take. That’s not a lot by today’s mega tent pole release standards, but it was huge in 1984. Add another $40 million in overseas box office, and you get quite a return on that money. And so as inevitable as the film’s prophesized Doomsday, a sequel was unavoidable. The film also made a star of an Austrian born bodybuilder who had only television and one film to his credit by that time. A star and a huge franchise was born. The man behind the film, James Cameron, was just as unknown, having helmed a cheesy Piranha sequel as pretty much his only calling card. Who knew then that Arnold Schwarzenegger, James Cameron, and the Terminator universe would all go on to become household names. Cameron would go on to bring us Aliens and Titanic. Arnie would become THE action star of the 90’s and end up, of all places, as the Governor of California. Only in America.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on September 30th, 2009
Wallace and Gromit is the brainchild of animator Nick Park. The British filmmaker tried for years to bring his clay creations alive, but on his own finished a mere 10 minutes in a little over 2 years. When he met up with Aardman Animations, he was teamed up with the creative talents he needed to make his dream come alive, and come alive these two characters did indeed. They’ve become an overnight sensation in the UK and now all over the world. I was introduced to the characters with the full length feature Wallace And Gromit In The Curse Of The Were-Rabbit. Sadly this “complete” collection does not include that longer film. This should more appropriately be called the Nearly Complete Collection Of Shorts.
I have to admit that I was completely won over by the magic of this creation. It’s so simple looking that it almost appears to be child’s play. The truth could not be further from the perception. Stop motion animation goes back to the beginning of the cinema itself. Pioneered by the genius Willis O’Brian and perfected by Ray Harryhausen, it is one of the most painstakingly tedious tasks in the film industry today. It has been all but abandoned except for a select few who still follow in the footsteps of greatness. Give Nick Park credit for keeping the art alive and making it look effortless.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on September 24th, 2009
“I’m the best there is at what I do and what I do isn’t very nice.”
So what do you do after three successful, if not critically acclaimed, X-Men feature films that brought in over a billion dollars total when you factor in domestic and foreign box office and home video sales? It was getting a bit expensive to bring back such a large and growing in popularity cast. Even if you wanted to spend the money for such an ensemble, it gets awfully difficult to write effectively for so many characters at once. Someone’s going to get the dark end of the spotlight. Hurt feelings aside, you can’t continue to please such a wide diverse group of fans. Bryan Singer did such a great job in the balancing act for the first two that it looked like maybe this could go on forever. But Brett Ratner, who is used to working with teams of two, put a fork in the franchise for many, and it seemed we’d seen the last of our favorite mutants. Honestly, I didn’t think the third film was all that bad, but that’s just me. I was never looking for anything more than an amusement park ride for my theater ticket, and that’s exactly what I got all three times. But these issues remain, as does the question, where do you go from there?
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on September 22nd, 2009
This was the final of Miramax 4 martial arts classics released as a collection or separately on Blu-ray. The collection featured some extraordinary action and top line star power for the most part. Zatoichi, for the most part, is the weakest of the four films. It is almost a solo effort by renowned Japanese actor Takeshi Kitano. He participated in writing the script. He is also the director, editor, and star of this rather off the wall martial arts film. The character of Zatoichi has appeared in many films and is as much a part of martial arts culture as Jackie Chan. Kitano does quite a superb job in portraying the blind swordsman, but it is in the other areas that he falls considerably short of the intended mark. Instead of reaching for the classic staples of the genre, he decides to take this tale in a far more fantastical direction. Swords blaze with such speed it’s impossible to really appreciate the skills, because you never actually see the sword. It’s out, slice and dice, and resheathed all in a blink of an eye. Rather impressive the first 20 times it occurs in the film, but before long it’s merely an old punch line that’s been repeated one too many times by a desperate comedian who doesn’t really have anything else. It’s sad, really. Because, Kitano does have something else to offer, and we certainly get glimpses of that. In the end, however, Kitano pushes the boundaries too often for me to take this film seriously at all.
The film is really a Western guised in the form of a martial arts film. The plot rings of Clint Eastwood’s High Plains Drifter. When a blind masseur wonders into a village, he finds that it has been terrorized by a gang that extorts shop owners for protection and runs the local gambling and geisha houses. The blind drifter has startling skill with a sword he hides sheathed in his seeing eye cane. He has an uncanny ability to hear enough from his environment to counter any blow raised toward him and cut up his opponent quickly and quite efficiently. He meets up with Genosuke (Asano) who supplies the comic relief here. Genosuke is a degenerate gambler who can’t seem to catch a break in the local dice parlor. But he is impressed with the uncanny ability the masseur has of hearing the correct lay of the dice. The two of them clean up at the game. Deciding to spend some of their winnings at the geisha house, the pair meet two geisha girls who are actually more than meets the eye. They are the sole surviving children of a family slaughtered by the mob kingpin running the local gang. Together they plot to discover the identity of the boss and rid the village of the gang forever. The gang has employed the services of a very skilled samurai to enforce their will on the people. It doesn’t take much time to figure out that all of this is leading to a wild west style showdown between the samurai and the masseur.