Posted in: Disc Reviews by David Annandale on July 5th, 2010
The title is grammatically ambiguous. Is this a film about vampire killers who happen to be lesbians, or killers of lesbian vampires? The former might have given the film some nicely subversive potential, but the latter is the case. Our heroes are the gormless pair of the serially dumped Jimmy (James Corden) and the piggish Fletch (Mathew Horne) – basically Shaun and Ed from Shaun of the Dead, minus the wit. Heading out to a randomly picked village in rural England for a low-budget vacation, the duo happen upon a VW bus filled with women who, based on the available evidence, have just finished a gig as background dancers for a hip-hop video. The group arrives at a decrepit mansion and proceed to party, unaware that the area is cursed by the lesbian vampire queen Carmilla. Seeking to resurrect their matriarch, her minions proceed to vamp all but one of the women, and the stage is set for a supernatural battle of the sexes.
There have been many horror comedies in the wake of Shaun of the Dead's well-deserved success, and while there have been some worthy entries, there have also been plenty of reminders that just calling something a comedy and having characters bug out their eyes and run around screaming doesn't mean the film is funny. And here we have a case in point. The production design is handsome, and echoes the Hammer flicks of yore, but the witless dialogue, clumsy action choreography, and vacant characters will soon have you wishing you were watching an actual Hammer film (or even Carry on Screaming). Then there's the premise. The filmmakers apparently never though it the least bit problematic that they were serving up repeated scenes of women being impaled and decapitated (and then exploding in a splash of white, milky fluid) for laughs. The results would be even more offensive if the viewer weren't numbed by the tedium – the 83 minutes feel twice that long.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on July 1st, 2010
Fans of classic science fiction know very well who Philip Jose Farmer is. Chances are you have read one of his many Riverworld novels going back to the early 1970's. It's absolutely required reading for any fan of the genre. When you think of those classic book series, this one stands right up there with Asimov's Foundation books or Frank Herbert's Dune series. I've only read the first novel, but remember it still. It's an enchanting world that I always meant to return to one day. That day hadn't yet come by the time I received this DVD release of SYFY's latest take on the work. I'm sad to say that even after watching this 3 hour mini-series, that day still hasn't come.
It's not that this is necessarily a bad film. It's actually not bad at all. It's just not very good. More importantly, it's really not much like the Riverworld I recall. The basic idea is actually all that remains from Farmer's works. Riverworld is a planet that contains 20 million miles of river, hence the name. When people die, they are resurrected along the banks of this river system. Here you might find anyone from any time. Time travels in its own fashion here. Two people who die at exactly the same moment might find themselves on Riverworld years apart from each other. It appears to be random. All of this is in the original books. Nothing else from this film is to be found, at least in any recognizable form, in the novels.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on June 30th, 2010
Of all of the cop or detective shows I’ve seen over the years, I can relate to this one better than any of them. You see, years ago, I was a detective. I wasn’t a cop and mostly did internal investigations for a large Florida retail chain. While I was a fair detective in most areas, I did eventually develop a specialty of sorts. When other detectives ran into a brick wall interviewing their subjects, they’d often call on me to get whatever information they were trying to extract. No, I didn’t beat it out of them. I was never a physically intimidating guy. I was just good at getting them to talk. I guess I was a little bit of a con artist who was working for the good guys instead of preying on hapless marks. I never lied to a subject and never threatened violence. It was a battle of wits, and I always won. That’s exactly how you would describe Brenda Johnson (Sedgwick) in The Closer. While the series was, in many ways, your standard procedural police drama, each episode would end with Brenda getting some reluctant perp to spill their guts. She relied on southern charm. She looked and sounded harmless enough that she could get the person to lower their guard and fall for one rather simple trick or another. Case closed.
Brenda Johnson was brought to L.A. from Atlanta, where she had a reputation of getting things done. She was brought in to help the department deal with a bad reputation when it came to murders. Chief Will Pope (Simmons) hired her to get the department back on track. She was given the title of Deputy Chief and a team of elite investigators. The Priority Homicide Unit investigated high profile or particularly difficult murder cases. The team included veteran detective Lt. Provenza (Bailey) who wasn’t above bending a few rules to get the bad guy. Lt. Michael Tao (Chan) was the tech-savvy guy in the group. Commander Taylor (Gossett) is often her biggest critic in the team. He believed that he should have gotten her job. Sergeant Gabriel (Reynolds) and Detective Irene Daniels (Ravera) are an on-again off-again item in the office, providing for some extra tension. She’s engaged to FBI Agent Fritz Howard (Tenney) whom she marries at the end of this season. There are some new characters for the 5th season. Mary McDonnell arrives for only three episodes, but it's a big part. She plays the captain of the internal affairs unit. It's a very irritating part. In fact, the last few times I've seen McDonnell she's been annoying. She played a similarly grouchy character on Grey's Anatomy last year. Sosie Bacon is pretty good as Charlie. She's Brenda's troubled teenage niece who has been passed from her parents to her grandparents and now Brenda. She's actually the real-life daughter of Kyra Sedgwick and Kevin Bacon.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on June 30th, 2010
"Cursed (kur'sid) adj. To be afflicted with, suffer from the calling down of calamity on someone by a spirit, deity, demon, or one of the dead, esp. from a desire for revenge, resulting in an evil, malevolent being."
I'm well aware of the popularity of the Twilight series. I have to admit that I've pretty much avoided the films, mostly because after 7 years of teaching high school I've had more than my fair share of teenage angst. Let's face it. These films are not really for the die-hard vampire, werewolf, or horror fans. They're genre chick flicks full of all of that overflowing romance and adolescent hormones. While I've been successful at avoiding that particular series, I have now finally succumbed to one of the inevitable copies. When something is as profitable as the Twilight books and movies certainly have become, there will be attempts at imitation. It's a Hollywood law, chiseled into the unwritten statutes that all filmmakers pledge their allegiance to. Wolf Moon, also known as Bad Moon Rising, appears to be one of the first.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Michael Durr on June 30th, 2010
Some of my longtime readers might remember my review of The Game Season One. I found it to be rather slow at first but once they fleshed out the characters, it became a likeable show with decent characters. But unfortunately, I was not able to review the second season and was a little surprised that the third season showed up on my doorstep. Hopefully, I would be able to jump right back in and still enjoy the show. As long as it still has the qualities I enjoyed before.
Let’s spend some time catching up from the second season as we dive into the third season. Since I didn’t get a chance to watch the second season, it will help us to set the story. Melanie Barnett (played by Tia Mowry Hardrict) is still having problems with Derwin Davis (played by Pooch Hall). She confessed in the season two finale that she still loves Derwin and is bent on getting him back. There is just one problem.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by David Annandale on June 28th, 2010
Bob (Bryan Callen) and Cheryl (Alexie Gilmore) are about to be married. Bob already can't win with his in-laws-to-be, and his latest mistake is to forget to arrange for pre-marriage counseling, which must be undergone or the church won't allow the ceremony to take place. There is only one couple available at the last minute, and it turns out to be the massively dysfunctional set of overbearingly enthusiastic Dick (Matt Servitto) and cynical and rapacious Nora (Jane Lynch). The counseling sessions become a series of disasters.
Callen comes across as a poor-man's Ben Stiller, essaying different variations of baffled panic and pained humiliation through events that feel like deleted scenes from Meet the Parents. Jane Lynch turns in yet another of her trademarked hard-boiled characterizations. She's good at this, but she could also do this part in her sleep. The script gives the cast very little to work with, and the direction is utterly flat. Scenes that should be frantic are merely dull, and there's a fight scene between Gilmore and Lynch that is one of the most badly choreographed I have ever seen. Painful stuff all around.
Hmm. I'm looking at the back of the case. What exactly does “16:9 (1.78) Full Screen” mean? Seems to be a rather contradictory set of specs. In fact, what we have is 1.78:1 non-anamorphic. The picture is decent enough, but a bit on the soft side, and the reds are a little strong. Contrasts are okay, but the picture, like the movie itself, lacks energy.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by William O'Donnell on June 27th, 2010
There is a “Convenience Store Killer” running amok in Los Angeles, killing patrons and shop owners and stealing the security camera footage for his own collection. Our heroes are a misfit band of workers who are having a poker night while locked inside their damaged store (the damage being on the door...so they are stuck until morning...see what they did there?) and soon the killer targets them.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by David Annandale on June 24th, 2010
Bill Williamson (Brendan Fletcher) is an angry young man. His boss treats him badly, he can't get good service at the local coffee shop, and his parents are trying, none too subtly or smartly, to get him to move out. He hangs out with a friend who talks a big talk about changing the world, but does nothing. Bill, by contrast, is about to do something: gearing up with so much body armor he becomes a walking tank, he begins a gigantic massacre in town, beginning by blowing up a police station, and going on to gun down anyone who crosses his path. There is, however, rather more method to his madness than might appear.
The indefatigable Uwe Boll here brings us a film that echoes the likes of Falling Down, Targets and Elephant. (And in typically modest fashion, on the commentary track he feels he has improved on Falling Down.) This is one of Boll's better films, blessed by an excellent lead performance by Fletcher, convincing improvised dialogue (which does produce a couple of grammatical howlers, but hey, so does real-life dialogue), and intense hand-held camerawork. There are some genuinely witty moments, too, such as the scene where Bill enters a bingo hall, and is completely ignored by its denizens. Even at a brisk 85 minutes, however, the film doesn't have quite enough plot, and thus the rampage itself feels a bit too long. There is also too much reliance on flash-forwards, which ultimately telegraph the resolution too far ahead. As for that resolution, it isn't without a certain cleverness, but it does tend to muddy the film's social commentary. But social commentary there is, and there is quite a bit to admire about this effort.
Some of the reds are bit too strong, but otherwise the colors are excellent, as are the contrasts, blacks and flesh tones. There are moments where the film shifts to webcam footage, and the difference is clear and convincing. The overall look of the film is rich without venturing too far outside of a realist aesthetic (the exception being a gigantic explosion early on, but as far as the transfer goes, everything still looks very nice). The aspect ratio is the original 2.35:1 anamorphic widescreen.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on June 23rd, 2010
The Griffins, residents of Quahog, Rhode Island, aren’t the standard sitcom familial unit. The patriarch, Peter, a thick-necked, thicker-accented simpleton, has a wonderful grip on eighties television shows and bad musical groups, but lacks in social graces (soiling oneself at a neighbor’s funeral?). His wife, the animated-hot and ever-loving Lois, seems hell-bent on keeping some semblance of normalcy in the household, even if it means burying her feelings and ignoring reality a bit. Their oldest child, Meg, is the very definition of unpopular, but trying. Chris, her thirteen-year-old brother, is a dense lug who fears the evil monkey only he can see. Baby Stewie is a two year old with Rex Harrison’s voice, Howard Cosell’s vocabulary, and Napoleon’s lust for world domination, but his family treats him just like any other two year old. Finally, their dog, Brian, is a well-read, well-spoken hound who’s trusted enough to babysit, even if he’s known to take a martini or two. Family Guy is the almost always hilarious story of their lives and their struggles.
Fox never really knew what to do with Family Guy, even though it premiered right after the Super Bowl. It moved around the schedule like a cartoon Bedouin, never getting a chance to claim a timeslot for its own. Its fans followed it, but newcomers never knew where to find the show after its initial viewing. Its humor also didn’t make it a very easy sell to advertisers; it’s a more gruff version of The Simpsons, with far “bluer” material (sort of like if Homer and Marge were involved in an S&M episode). As a result of these obstacles, and in spite of serious protestations from a very large fan base, Family Guy only lasted three seasons. But never count a good series out for the count. Three years after it left the airwaves, Family Guy was back. Now the show is going into its 9th season. Quite a success story.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by BABY on June 22nd, 2010
Hey everybody. Baby, back again to bring you yet another dog movie from a dog's point of view, which is the floor, in case anybody out there really wants to know. You see, Gino won't let me on the furniture in the theater. He says that just because the seats look like chew toys, and smell like chew toys, doesn't mean they actually are chew toys. I mean, really, people. You wanna talk about your special effects, which reminds me of something else I'm not supposed to do in the theater, but let's not talk about that right now.
I wanna play a game we like to call Baby Says. OK, I like to call Baby Says. Baby says take two steps backward. Baby says get back in that delivery truck. Deliver some more DVD's or Blu-rays. Oh-Oh, I didn't say Baby Says, and that spells B A R K. Baby Says send me some treats, and that spells W A G. The truth is no matter how loud I yell, and no matter how loud Gino yells at me, these movies keep showing up on our doorstep. And the latest of these movies is called Air Bud: World Pup. So I guess I better stop talkin' about me and tell you something about the movie.
