Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on April 16th, 2010
Remakes are a fact of life. It might seem now more than ever that we are plagued with this reality, but it's been true for a very long time. It's not so new, as you might expect. Even the lauded Cecil B. Demille The Ten Commandments was a remake of his own silent 1923 film. They've existed almost as long as the movies themselves and will continue to exist for the foreseeable future. So, the question should be: Why should a particular film be remade? Often technology catches up with the content in a film. The ability to create on the screen something that was simply impossible originally is a legitimate reason to tackle an older film. Sometimes the movie is so powerful that it bears retelling for a new generation.
But then there are the reasons why a film should not be remade. There are some classics that simply should be off limits forever. Would anyone even dare attempt to remake The Godfather? There are those films that are just not worth being remade. How many versions of Piranha do we really need? Then there are the films that are remade in title only, like the 1999 version of The Thomas Crown Affair.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on March 31st, 2010
"More of this is true than you would believe."
What was intended as a somewhat thought-provoking quirky comedy looks a lot like something you would expect to see on a late night rerun of The X-Files. All of the subject matter has been covered there, just not quite in this way. It all started with a non-fiction book written by Jon Ronson. He claimed to have researched various government studies in human behavior that entered into the world of the paranormal. It was part of an ideology of waging non-lethal war. It was a strange combination of 1980's new age mysticism and actual studies that showed that soldiers in World War II were, in fact, quite reluctant to kill or even harm the enemy. The study claimed that almost 80% of the soldiers deliberately looked for excuses not to fire or merely aimed inaccurately to avoid killing. The study went further and claimed that of the minority that did shoot with deadly results, most of them suffered terrible guilt over the experience, often making them unable to remain effective soldiers. The study regards the remainder of the study group, the ones who did fire accurately and did not suffer guilt as psychopaths. In short, the book gathered a lot of speculative ideas and put them into a rather oddball collection of "facts".
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Michael Durr on March 28th, 2010
Around Thanksgiving of last year, I started to see trailers of a particular movie that quite literally made me laugh out loud. The reason behind it is because I knew with the title of the movie and the obvious plot, there was no way I was not going to review it when it came to dvd & blu-ray. I have a reputation for certain movies, I guess you could say. That movie was Ninja Assassin. Several months later, I am reviewing it for a mass audience. Funny how that works.
An old man and master of tattoos (played by Randall Duk Kim) is filling in an elaborate tattoo on a young gangster named Hollywood (played by Sung Kang)’s back. A henchman brings Hollywood a sealed envelope. The envelope is opened and out spills black sand. The old man is startled. He starts to spin a tale about ninjas and how he saw an envelope just like that before everybody around him was assassinated.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by William O'Donnell on March 19th, 2010
Wild Ocean was originally designed as a 3D IMAX experience. Though the production has been pared down to a humbler 2D widescreen, it still is effective as a well-made film that documents the Sardine Run in South Africa, where the migration of millions of Sardines makes for both feeding frenzies of ocean predators, and a wild festival of fishing for various townspeople.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on March 16th, 2010
If any studio out there knows princesses, it has to be Disney. Uncle Walt has brought us so many memorably magical moments in the realms of fairy godmothers and the rags to riches tradition. A list of such Disney characters would serve as a rather complete roll call of such familiar animated ladies: Snow White, Cinderella, Ariel, Sleeping Beauty, Jasmine, and now you can add yet another name to the growing list. The studio that invented the animated fairy tale returns to its hand-drawn animation roots with The Princess And The Frog.
When Pixar finally landed permanently at Disney, no one was more excited than I was. It seemed somehow quite fitting that the studio that invented the animation feature should now take the lead with the company that invented the computer animated feature. It was a match made in heaven, or at least Neverland. But, I was as shocked and dismayed as many fans of the medium when Disney made a rather abrupt decision to close down its hand-drawn animation studios. There was plenty of rancor from the move and more than a few talented artists suddenly without jobs. It appeared that the Mouse House had traded one legacy in to acquire another. And so it looked as if we would never again see the wonderful marvels of a hand-drawn Walt Disney creation. Ah, but we all forgot. Disney is in the fairy tale business, after all. And like every good story, just as it looks like the villain has triumphed and all hope is gone, a white horse bearing a hero can never be far behind.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on March 16th, 2010
I'm sure that somewhere inside of Jared Hess's mind all of this makes perfect sense. I get the feeling that after he completed Gentlemen Broncos the writer/director/producer sat down to a screening with a group of his friends and the congregation rolled in the aisles with laughter. I'm equally sure that when his friends went home they were left scratching their heads. Somewhere in Hollywood a corner drugstore made a killing in aspirin or something stronger. In his own private world, where they all get the joke, Gentlemen Broncos might not be so bad. As for this reviewer, it was perhaps one of the worst films I've ever had the displeasure of watching. I'm putting in for hazard pay on this one, guys. This film will subject you to images that you'll pay good money not to have in your heads. Once again, a payday for the drugstores who likely made about as much off this movie as the film produced at its limited box office run. For anyone out there ready to accuse me of "not getting it" or some such defense of "your" movie. Look at the film's gross take of $113,000 against a $10 million budget and talk to me then.
Benjamin (Angarano) is a young awkward boy who likes to write fantasy stories. He's socially inept, helped in no small part in his problems by a neurotic mother who babies him and designs incredibly bad nightgowns. She ends up sending him to a writers’ camp where he gets to meet his idol, writer and illustrator Chevalier (Clement) who is really quite too full of himself to be believed. Chevalier is out of ideas, and he's about to get dropped by his agent if he doesn't come up with something good, and soon. When Benjamin submits his story Yeast Wars: The Bronco Years to a writing contest at the camp, Chevalier decides this is just the story he's looking for. He changes a few names and submits the story as his own. Meanwhile Benjamin has sold the film rights to his story to amateur filmmaking couple Tabitha (Feiffer) and Lonnie (Jimenez) who turn it into a gay space opera with incredibly poor filmmaking. The stuff is about to hit the fan as the two versions of the story are about to collide with Benjamin in the middle of it all.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on March 15th, 2010
I have to admit that I approached Old Dogs as cautiously as I'd approach a rabid junkyard dog. With a story that sounds like another retelling of Three Men And A Baby and the setup, and director, of Disney's Wild Hogs, it seemed pretty apparent that this film was not going to offer anything terribly new or exciting. When I started watching the film I discovered that I was pretty much right. This is very much Three Men And A Baby meets Wild Hogs. More importantly, I was also correct in believing the film wouldn't offer up anything all that original or new. What I didn't expect, and what will make this a film worth watching for you anyway, is that the delivery here is actually pretty special.
The story itself couldn't be any more contrived. Charlie (Travolta) and Dan (Williams) have been best friends and business partners for over 30 years. They run a sports marketing firm and have done pretty well, even if they're not the millionaires they always hoped they would be. They are the kind of Bromance couple that are always there for each other. In a story that Dan likes to tell clients to "break the ice", we learn that 7 years earlier Dan got divorced and it nearly tore him apart. Charlie pestered him into taking a carefree Florida vacation where a one night stand led to a quickie marriage and annulment as well as an embarrassing tattoo, which was supposed to shout “Free Man” across his hairy chest, but due to a mixup in translation with the tattoo artist says “Freemont” instead. Now the boys are on the verge of a $47 million deal with a huge Japanese company that will finally get them the riches they've been seeking. Feeling on a bit of a high, Dan decides to set up a meet with Vicki (Preston) to see if he can fan the old romance flames once more. He gets more than he expected, however. Vicki has twins, Zach (Rayburn) and Emily (Travolta) and, predictably, they are Dan's. Coincidentally, Vicki is about to serve 2 weeks in jail for a political activism stunt, and Dan ends up crushing the hands of her hand model friend, who just so happens to have been her babysitter for her time in stir. Dan, feeling suddenly fatherly, agrees to take the kids in an attempt to bond with his newly discovered family. The rest is pretty much what you would expect. Dan and "Uncle" Charlie try to seal the big deal and learn to care for the kids with the usual hijinks and comedic results. Because this is, after all, a Disney film, we know that the movie is going to end with one of those warm life lessons and everything is going to work out fine. Who does storybook endings better, right?
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on March 12th, 2010
"Perseus and Andromeda will be happy together. Have fine sons... rule wisely... And to perpetuate the story of his courage, I command that from henceforth, he will be set among the stars and constellations. He, Perseus, the lovely Andromeda, the noble Pegasus, and even the vain Cassiopeia. Let the stars be named after then forever. As long as man shall walk the Earth and search the night sky in wonder, they will remember the courage of Perseus forever. Even if we, the gods, are abandoned or forgotten, the stars will never fade. Never. They will burn till the end of the time."
Talk about your perfect storm. You take the master of stop motion technology, Ray Harryhausen, and you combine those creature animation talents with one of the oldest stories surviving today in Perseus and Andromeda. How can the combination not be magical? The story has always been a favorite of mine, likely because I was born on the Summer Solstice, the critical moment of this story. I was preordained to love this film. The truth is that this film never got quite the recognition it so richly deserved. Now, on the cusp of a computer generated remake, it was my unmitigated privilege and joy to watch the original 1981 film in the glory of high definition.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by David Annandale on February 26th, 2010
Every seven years, thirty assassins descend on an unsuspecting city and slaughter each other, all the while being observed by hijacked security cameras for the benefit of the high rollers who are betting on the outcome. The previous winner was Ving Rhames, and he thought he had walked away from the life after that tournament. But then his wife was murdered, and he learns that the killer is in the new contest (taking place this time in England). Also taking part is the fatalistic Kelly Hu, who winds up being the reluctant protector of drunken priest Robert Carlyle, who even more reluctantly has become a long-shot competitor in the tournament after accidentally swallowing a tracking device that paints him as a legitimate target.
This sounds a bit more complex than the film really is, as the plot is primarily there just to facilitate the spectacular butchery that follows. The action is fast and furious, and the blood is as copious as you're going to get this side of Hostel. All of which is more than passably entertaining, and there are also some surprisingly witty moments, usually courtesy of Carlyle. In its enthusiasm to go over the top, however, the film does dip its toe into some of the same ugly misogyny that so pollutes the Crank films. Still and all, bloodthirsty action fans could do worse than spend 95 minutes in The Tournament's company.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on February 22nd, 2010
When the original 1987 film The Stepfather came our way, the world was a very different place. Of course, that's true with any titles that are separated by nearly 25 years of time. When reboots or remakes are attempted, as they all too frequently are today, it is often true that some allowances must be made for those inevitable changes in our world. Filmmakers attempt to make whatever adjustments they deem fit and bring the old favorite, or not so favorite, into our current collective consciousness. Like all things, sometimes it works. More often it does not work. And then there are those occasions where it simply could never work. The Stepfather was released just at the dawn of this new instant information age. In 1987 most public records weren't available at the click of a mouse. There weren't social networks and Google options that allowed any normal person to become a private investigator. Put simply, it was a time when a person could still step into a new persona and leave his past acts behind him. Certainly, the ambitious could still research someone, but that required dusty basements in newspaper offices or library microfiche. The idea so essential to the suspense and thrill of The Stepfather simply no longer exists. The only way a remake could have really been effective was to make it a period piece and set it in the 70's or 80's, if not earlier. A ten year old kid can get the goods on you now. Here David doesn't appear to be concerned at all about fingerprints and DNA.
The original film had more than a slower information age going for it. Terry O'Quinn delivered one of the creepiest performances of his career. Yeah, that's the same Lost John Locke Terry O'Quinn, so it shouldn't be that hard for you to imagine an enigmatic performance. Even in 1987 the idea wasn't terribly original. There were enough stalker films by then that the concepts were already tired and worn. What made that film work more than anything was that performance. I remember particularly a moment, badly reproduced here, when O'Quinn's character stops and looks blankly at the camera and says, "Who am I here?" O'Quinn gives us a look that totally defines the hideous pathos of his character, and in that instant we realize how dangerously deluded he really is. It wasn't the back story. It wasn't the body count leading up to that moment. It was all in that look. It sent a shiver through the stoutest spine. And it is that element that is completely absent here. Dylan Walsh is a fine enough actor, and his performance is solid, but he never truly frightened me. Without that glue, the pieces of this remake simply cannot hold together.
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