Disc Audio

Lionsgate has as good a collection of catalog titles as any studio out there.  Many of these films have not yet been given the high definition Blu-ray treatment for one reason or another. So I'm sitting here trying to figure out how a trivial film like Ladybugs jumped the line and finds itself in a barebones release on Blu-ray this month. I'm sure that the movie has its fans. Of course, I've never met any of them, but I gotta believe that they're out there ... somewhere.

Don't get me wrong. I love Rodney Dangerfield. He's one of the few guests on Letterman who got me to be sure to schedule my DVR. I don't get to watch such things often, because I spend a large part of my entertainment time watching films for you guys. I know. It's a tough job, but somebody's got to do it. Yeah, I laugh about it all the time with my friends and family who have real jobs. Usually, they don't think that one's so funny. Except sometimes this really is a tough job. And, you want to know what else isn't so funny? Ladybugs. It's a bad sign when I find myself laughing hardest at a scene where Rodney's behind a dressing room curtain with Jonathan Brandis, and he's sounding like a pedophile to a shopper who misunderstands what she sees and hears. When that's the high point of any film, you've really gotta question the value of the kinds of things you're watching.

Street Hawk is an adventure series about a young cop named Jesse Mach, played by one-time 80s pop idol Rex Smith, who gets injured on the job and is selected to be a part of an experimental motorcycle / vigilante program (funded by the government), that is helmed by computer genius Norman Tuttle, played by a pre-Murphy Brown Joe Regalbuto.

I get the impression that things didn't quite work out for Joe Pesci the way he might have originally intended. There's a heart of a serious actor buried somewhere deep under the makeup of a clown.  Who can forget the dead-eyed killer Tommy from Goodfellas? Most of us have that restaurant scene engraved in our heads where Tommy asked the immortal question "Do I amuse you?" Well ... Joe, actually, you do. And putting aside his initial role of Joey in Raging Bull and the aforementioned Tommy with its carbon-copied Casino character, Pesci has made the most noise by amusing us. Whether it was playing the title character in the hilarious My Cousin Vinny or the reluctant police snitch Leo Getz in the Lethal Weapon films, as much as he scared the crap out of us in Goodfellas, we've spent a lot more time laughing when Joe Pesci was up on the big screen. Jimmy Hollywood is certainly not the best of these funny roles, but it merits honorable mention.

Jimmy (Pesci) is one of the thousands of actor hopefuls that have come to Hollywood in search of stardom. It's all he thinks about. He even takes out an ad on a bus stop bench, expecting Hollywood big shots to be ringing his phone off the hook with starring roles. The truth is that Jimmy is more than a little naive. He's memorized the order of the stars on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame, and he can sit mesmerized by old Hollywood documentaries. Still, he's not recognized for whatever talent he believes he possesses. The truth is that Jimmy really pines for a Hollywood that doesn't even exist anymore. He's looking for that Golden Era with the likes of Cagney and Robinson. He's looking for streets that glitter like gold. Instead, he finds the streets are infested with criminals. His girlfriend Lorraine is robbed at gunpoint on her way home from the beauty parlor where she works. When his car is broken into and his stereo stolen, he decides to take drastic action. If the cops can't stop the criminals, then he will. Along with his best friend and cameraman William, who is somewhat mentally only half there, he stakes out the streets waiting for the serial stereo thief to try for another stereo. They record the crook in the act, tape a confession complete with the address of his fence and tie the guy up and leave him, the stereos, and the tape at the steps of the police department. William signs the label-maker note SOS, and before long the police believe a major vigilante group is at work in Hollywood.

When I was a kid in the 80’s, Predator was one of those films that you weren’t supposed to watch, but everybody did anyway. Over-the-top action, invincible heroes, cheesy one-liners and big, big explosions made this a film that was a favorite of pre-pubescent boys everywhere. Going into this disc, I found myself wondering if the film would stand up to the harsh tests of time and maturity.

The answer to that question is both “yes”, and “no”. In the “no” column, it is very apparent early on in the film…that there is very little here in the way of plot. Some soldiers are hired to go behind enemy lines to rescue an American politician who has been kidnapped by generic terrorists. Once the team arrives at their location, they discover that they have actually been sent on the mission for different reasons altogether, though those reasons are never really made clear. On their way back to the rendezvous point, they have multiple encounters with an evil and mysterious creature who tries to kill them (and occasionally succeeds). That’s about it. Beyond these basic plot outlines, dialog is basically reserved to screaming profanities and the aforementioned goofy one-liners.

"Earth: a unique planet. Restless and dynamic. Continents shift and clash. Volcanoes erupt. Glaciers grow and recede. Titanic forces that are constantly at work, leaving a trail of geological mysteries behind."

I saw a bumper sticker recently that read; "Geologists dig classic rock". I should have taken it as an omen that I would be spending some quality time with a few geologists over these last couple of weeks. It started with the excellent BBC mini-series How The Earth Changed History and culminated with the 13 episodes of the second season of How The Earth Was Made. It might be easy to confuse these titles in your video store. But, make no mistake about it. They are very different shows down to their core, pun intended.

Marvel Superhero cartoons come and they go. For every Spider-Man cartoon, there is an X-Men cartoon, or Wolverine or perhaps even Iron Man gets one. Some of them last more than one season but more often than not they are replaced by shows telling the same stories but in a different style. Marvel Superhero Squad show attempts to break the mold by providing fresh stories with a rather interesting and unique animation style.

Super Hero City is a vast metropolis full of super-heroes and civilian life but chaos has taken hold. It seems that Doctor Doom and his Lethal Legion are looking for scattered Infinity fractals which hold great power. With each one collected, they are closing to building an Infinity Sword, a source of ultimate power. However, standing in their way is the Super Hero Squad and consists of six primary members.

"Barugon: The Freezing Monster - This carnivorous reptile, a nightmare cross between a monitor lizard and a chameleon, is found only in New Guinea's Valley Of The Rainbow. It is born every 1000 years, according to legend, from an egg resembling a large opal. It has a long, darting tongue used as a battering ram, while the tip sprays a freezing mist that immobilizes its prey..."

Ask anyone about Japanese monster movies and Gamera usually won't be the first name that comes into their minds. Godzilla would likely dominate the conversation, and for most of the last 60 years the folks at Toho have been synonymous with large monsters. But they didn't exactly hold a monopoly on the big beasts. Kadokawa Pictures had their own little monster franchise going on. From 1965 through the 1970's the studio would produce 8 Gamera films in all.

"The rocket belt was first developed by Bell Aeronautics in the 1950's with financial backing from the U.S. military. The Bell Rocket Belt flew successfully for the first time in 1961. Upon seeing the test, the U.S. military found the device so impractical that they promptly withdrew financing and dropped all support for further development."

Unless you’re a regular at the film festival circuit, chances are you haven't even heard of the movie Pretty Bird. Even after picking up the distribution rights to this quirky comedy, Paramount left it sitting somewhere in a cold canister for about two years. Finally the movie arrives in a bare-bones direct-to-DVD format. Is it possible that the studio found the film so impractical that they didn't see any upside to further financial support that releasing the film at the box office would entail? After watching the movie for the first, and likely last time, I suspect there is more truth to that theory than not.

Swamp Thing the series was one of those shows that certainly be considered a guilty pleasure. Like the Incredible Hulk, Swamp Thing told the story of a scientist who is forced to live his life transformed as a mutated green monster. However, this particular green monster is not a drifter, he is forced to live his life in the swamp where the elements in turn give him great power. But in return, he must protect the swamp from people who would cause the ecological system harm.

The Swamp Thing (played by Dick Durock) is a large green monster who patrols the swamps of nearby Houma, Louisiana and knows the evil men do. For you see, he was once a man by the name of Alec Holland. Alec was a scientist and professor who was caught in a malicious chemical burning at the hands of Dr. Anton Arcane (played by Mark Lindsay Chapman).

Mention the name of George A. Romero to anyone even remotely familiar with horror movies, and the first thing they're going to think of is zombies. Why shouldn't they? It was Romero who made what might be the first little film that could. Long before Blair Witch Project and Paranormal Activity, Romero set out with his trusty 16 mm camera and a crew of pretty much local Pittsburgh friends, to make Night Of The Living Dead. With this film and the ongoing "Dead" franchise, Romero has pretty much written the rule book on zombies. He is no doubt the zombie king. That's the kind of thing you think of when someone mentions George A. Romero. But, there is this small, at least until recently, group of die-hard Romero fans that might have thought of another film. They might, just might, mind you, be thinking of an obscure 1973 film called The Crazies.

It's a typical small American town. Kids are blissfully riding their bikes. It's the opening day of Little League baseball. Everyone is just enjoying their idyllic Norman Rockwell existence. Don't worry. No one is really trying to pull anything over on you here. We know this pleasantry isn't going to last when the first few seconds of the film depict this very town burning to the ground. Our first hint that something isn't quite as American Pie as all that is when town drunk Rory shows up on the kids' baseball diamond packing a 16-gauge. The gory results cause the town to ask some very easy questions, like why did Rory show up totin' that double-barrel? Sherriff Dave (Olyphant) investigates that very question along with his wife who happens to be the town doctor (Mitchell). The answer, it seems, can be found in the town's water supply and a recently-crashed plane. The U.S. Government has accidentally infected the water supply of a small town with the engineered bio-weapon called Trixie. It eventually infects people and becomes airborne instead. The first stage is a little harmless catatonia. The second stage turns its victims into raging maniacs on steroids before killing them 48 hours later. The feds close down the town and try to round up the residents, corralling them into two groups: The ones who have the virus and the ones who don't. But Dave and his pregnant wife don't intend to stick around while martial law reveals sheer brutality in this once picture-postcard town. It's a tough time to be on the run. Doesn't matter who you run into, crazies or soldiers, both are gonna kill ya dead.