Disc Type

"I cannot - yet I must. How do you calculate that? At what point on the graph do "must" and "cannot" meet? Yet I must - but I cannot!"

Often it seems some films were made to collect a mantle-full of awards. For some it's the Oscars they covet. For others it might be a Golden Globe award or even a People's Choice Award. As a member of two critics’ guilds, I have to make these assessments every year. I know how important these accolades can be for a film and the people who created it. But there's one award that films (almost) never set out to obtain. Still it can provide endurance for a film and help new audiences to embrace it. I'm talking about those Golden Turkey awards, and few films ever made deserve the Golden Turkey than 1953's Robot Monster. When you hear folks talk about how monstrous that movie is ... they're not talking about the creature itself. They're talking about the film. The movie has recently been restored and is looking better than it ever did in a theater. Now that restoration is available on Blu-ray both in a standard format and its original 3-D presentation. They even included a pair of those old red and blue glasses so you can experience the film just like they did back in the 1950's. It's pure schlock, and it's never looked better. William Castle was the king of the gimmick horror/sci-fi film, but in 1953 Robot Monster would have given him a run for his money. For just a minute or two, Robot Monster was the best of the worst and the worst of the best. Now it's your turn to check it out.

In 2017 What the Waters Left Behind made some waves as a horror film that came out of Argentina.  It was shot on a pretty low budget, but it seems it was successful enough to warrant a sequel. I actually stumbled across What the Waters Left Behind on a streaming service one late night when I couldn’t sleep. The film is pretty much made for late-night viewing; it has a fun midnight movie vibe. The first film follows a group of documentary filmmakers that are traveling to the town of Epecuen that was wiped out in the 80’s, and the filmmakers want to check out the ruins of the town. What follows is a fun Texas Chainsaw Massacre meets The Hills Have Eyes romp filled with plenty of gore and the terrible demise of this film crew that wandered where they didn’t belong. Now it is five years later, and we have the sequel What the Waters Left Behind: Scars.  This was unexpected, but just what did I think about this Latin-flavored bloodfest? Well, it’s pretty much what I expected, and that’s a good thing.

This time around instead of a documentary film crew we are getting to follow The Ravens, a rock band that is winding up their tour with a last gig in a small bar and an even smaller fan base. The band is ready to head home after the gig, but the drummer has other plans when he hooks up with a local girl who promises them a place to stay if they give her a ride home.  She just happens to live in Epecuen.

"Who's ready for contact poker?"

The first season of Your Honor was very much a contact sport. The first 20 minutes was some of the most compelling television I've ever seen. Bryan Cranston started us off as the titular judge Michael Desiato. He's known as a tough but fair judge. He's got a pretty good life until his son makes a fatal mistake and sets the series on its course. Adam has an early morning accident where he runs down another teen and leaves him for dead. Michael's first reaction is of course for Adam to turn himself in to the police. But at the station he learns the victim was the son of the local mob boss, Jimmy Baxter, played ruthlessly by Michael Stuhlberg. Michael knows that if Jimmy finds out who killed his son, he'll kill Adam. So the first season covers his elaborate plan to cover up the crime. That meant asking his childhood friend, local politician Charlie Figaro, to help get rid of the car. Fortunately, Charlie is played by the great Isiah Whitlock, Jr. You know him as Councilman Clay Davis from The Wire and he was underused in the first season. Even more fortunate for us is that he has a much bigger role here in Season 2. That cover-up ended up unintentionally framing a young black kid. So it's the black kid's family that gets taken out in explosive force by the Baxter family. Jimmy finds out anyway and is forced to fix a trial for another Baxter child in order to save Adam's life. It ends up not working out, as Adam gets killed by the surviving teen of the Jones family, and a war between The Baxters and the drug family that calls itself Devine is the result. Michael ends up in prison, and now you're up to speed.

Not sure if this film will go down in history for any real significant impact. However, there is one important gem to take away from this film: this is the movie where the king of cool found his queen. That’s right, The Experts is the movie in which John Travolta met Kelly Preston, and the rest, I suppose, is history, as the two went on to have a nearly thirty-year marriage until her tragic death in 2020. In the film, it is quite fitting that the two served as each other’s love interests, despite some clear geopolitical differences. I’d say that is putting it mildly given that Preston is a Russian sleeper agent and Travolta is the unwitting American who is teaching her to pass for American. That is the premise of the film, as Travolta along with Arye Gross of House 2: The Second Story fame are couple of club-goers and aspiring club owners who unknowingly are recruited to teach modern ways to the outdated town of Russian sleeper agents under the auspices of opening a nightclub. The film gives Bill and Ted vibes, which is ironic given that the film predates Bill and Ted by at least two years. However, the film feels more silly than entertaining.

I’m sure it has to do with me living in a modern time, but I struggled at times to put myself in the time period that the film depicted. Such as the language and the hairdos were very hard to take seriously. That said, Travolta and the king of cool persona that he cultivated during this time period was something to admire. Even here, he has charm and charisma. I’m not sure he has enough to convince a Russian agent to renounce their allegiances, but I won’t put it out of the realm of possibly. Travolta, for me, was very much the focal point of the film. Yes, the film is depicted as a buddy movie, but Gross, while decent enough, wasn’t the one that your eyes went to when they were on screen.  This is clearly a Travolta movie, and he is without question and justifiably the draw for it.

I was expecting a stereotypical action movie chock full of cheesy one-liners. Not quite what I got. There were one or two cheesy one-liners, such as “cleanup on aisle 3.”  However, for the most part, I’d say Stone Cold holds its own in the entertainment category. Serving as the acting debut for former NFL linebacker Brian Bosworth, I’d say the film served as a solid opening to an on-and-off acting career. In this showing, Bosworth stars as a cop with a reputation for excessive force and maverick-like methods for getting the job done. After his latest stunt lands him a three-week suspension, he finds himself at the mercy of the FBI, who want to use him for a undercover operation, which many others would consider a suicide mission. Rounding out the cast are William Forsythe of Sam McMurray, Richard Gant, and Lance Henriksen serving as the film’s big bad. For a 30-year-old movie, I’d say that the film held up well in regards to action and dialog.

Bosworth is Joe Huff, an Alabama cop frustrated with the kid-glove approach taken with criminals, an approach that he is not known for implementing himself, hence his most recent incident involving a group of robbers and his hands-on approach to detaining that his superiors deem excessive force. To my mind, this did not meet the criteria of excessive force; the men were armed and threatening patrons. Huff didn’t shoot anyone, and to my viewing, everyone he dispatched survived, albeit likely with serious injuries. Either way, Huff is placed on suspension and almost immediately summoned by the FBI, who threaten to turn his three-week suspension into a six-month one without pay unless he undertakes a task for them. Nothing like good old-fashioned legal blackmail.

“Down goes Frazier! Down goes Frazier!”

That is all that was heard when George Foreman won his first heavyweight championship. He entered that match an underdog despite his superior size and reach, and he shocked the world when he knocked the then-undefeated Frazier down six times on his way to TKO victory. However, that is just where he journey begins. Thanks to Big George Foreman, we get to see his journey in its entirety, in one of the most accurate and faithful biographical adaptations that I’ve ever seen. Key thing to know about me: I am a big boxing fan, so any opportunity I have to enjoy a movie about a boxing legend is a good day. This is no exception, as my knowledge about this hall-of-famer, such as his hard upbringing and the fact that he gave all his sons the same name, was limited; Big George Foreman, at least for me, shone a light on a boxing figure who probably doesn’t get the recognition he deserves. Particularly because not only is he a former world heavyweight champion who fought the likes of Muhammed Ali, Joe Frazier, and Evander Holyfield, but at 46 years, 5 months, 18 days, he is the oldest world heavyweight champion in history. Khris Davis has the honor of embodying this living legend and gives a wholesome, albeit at times corny, interpretation.

In 1986, long before Luc Besson gave us such classics as Taken, The Fifth Element, or Leon: The Professional, he helped co-write and produce the wacky sci-fi/thriller Kamikaze.  I’m a fan of Besson, and not only had I never seen this film, I had never heard of it, so I was more than happy to check it out. In my opinion Luc Besson is one of the best action filmmakers out there. Whether he is writing, directing, or producing, he manages to put out an enjoyable product on a more consistent basis than many others.  If you are unfamiliar with the guy’s work, go ahead and take a moment to check him out on IMDB, and I’m pretty sure you’ll find a few titles on his resume that you’ve enjoyed.  Now in the 80’s you can say he was still cutting his teeth and trying to make a name for himself and had some moderate success. Subway (1985) is a fun little standout, and in 1988 he had The Big Blue.  In that time he handed off the script for Kamikaze to Didier Grousset, his Assistant Director from Subway, to direct the film, and as they say, the rest is history.

The film opens up with Albert (Michel Galabru) being fired after working with the company for 30 years.  He’s a brilliant scientist and inventor, but he’s also a bit lonely and a bit nutty.  He’s bitter about how he’s been treated and decides that he’s on a permanent “vacation”.  Albert ends up staying awake and watching television virtually non-stop and develops an obsession/hatred for the reporters during the news broadcast, and this inspires him to create a unique little gizmo. This device he creates allows him to shoot at his television, and it will blast the announcer he was aiming at, causing their guts to explode.  It’s silly, it’s absurd, but it sure does make this movie a lot of fun.  Don’t think about the logic of how this is possible, because you simply can’t.