Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on April 12th, 2007
After watching a bloated Tom Sizemore run around tunnels being chased by a man in a rubber suit while making bad jokes, it’s hard to believe that he used to be in good movies like Heat, Saving Private Ryan, and Black Hawk Down. And that’s probably the biggest impression I got from Bottom Feeder, just another example of the latest “anyone can make a direct-to-video horror movie” trend. My, how far Sizemore has fallen.
The plot is minimal, which is par for the course in most horror films... A burn-scarred millionaire seeks a serum that will regenerate his flesh, so naturally, he tests the serum on the scientist to make sure it works. However, the serum only works properly if it's taken with another anecdote. If not, it will turn you into a monster. And just think, I hate it when medicine makes you groggy. Don't you hate when that happens?
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on April 2nd, 2007
Turistas is a horror film about six hard-bodied 20-somethings whose vacation in paradise turns bad when they're drugged, robbed and kidnapped on behalf of a crazed doctor who wants to harvest their organs while they're still alive.
I think that about sums it up. Now let's talk about why this film isn't any good. First, while I realize characters in horror movies are supposed to fall into traps, never before have I seen characters this stupid. They don't just make one or two dumb choices. No, these kids take every single chance they get to put themselves in danger.Even when someone - in absolute terror - tries to warn them away from the evil doctor's home in the middle of the jungle, they insist on going anyway.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on March 27th, 2007
Two films in, and I am still impressed with Warner Brother's new Raw Feed line of direct-to-DVD horror films. As the direct-to-DVD market continues to grow, Warner's has jumped out in front with their new studio. The first film, Rest Stop, deftly told the story of a woman stranded at a rest stop and terrorized by a local madman. An entertaining film, but certainly not a new premise.Sublime is a much more developed story, and a very involving film.
Tom Cavanagh from TV's Ed and Love Mon...ey stars in a film that is much more psychological horror than outright terror. When George Grieves visits the hospital for a routine colonoscopy, all seems to be going well. When he wakes up, however, he discovers that the procedure was anything buy routine. I don't want to give too much away, but I can honestly say that the film pulled me in early, and didn't let me go until the last frame.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by David Annandale on March 14th, 2007
A young woman leaves her small town and intensely religious family to study at University. Even as she experiences the new freedom of campus life, her epileptic seizures become much worse, and she gradually comes to the conclusion that she is possessed. Her friends try to help her as her suffering becomes intolerable, but she eventually turns to a priest who wants to perform an exorcism.
If the above synopsis sounds familiar, that’s because this film is based on the same case that inspired The Exorcism of Emily Rose. Requiem makes that other effort look utterly ridiculous. The case misleadingly promotes the film as a gothic horror flick, which it is not, though its story is undeniably horrific. There are no special effects, and the presentation of the symptoms comes down to Sandra Hüller’s remarkable performance as the unfortunate Michaela. By the time her symptoms are at their peak, we don’t need any CGI or tricked-up sound design to recoil in horror and pity from the tortured woman. Director Hans-Christian Schmid and writer Bernd Lange shy away from a supernatural explanation (while maintaining a certain degree of ambiguity), but this in no way lessens the horror of the proceedings. In fact, the cause of Michaela’s suffering is almost beside the point – the reality of that suffering is the true focus of the film. Though it must be said that the possibility lurks that religious belief is a contributing factor to the unfolding tragedy. Despite all the movies dealing with demonic possession, The Exorcist has really been the only one definitive exorcism film. Now, at last, there is a second, and Requiem succeeds so harrowingly because of its restraint, its utterly believable portrayal of characters and events, and its refusal to imitate William Friedkin’s film. It charts is own path, and does so with enormous assurance.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Archive Authors on February 18th, 2007
The day and age were Hollywood remakes coming off as a somewhat passable effort are completely gone. Hollywood continues to feed us drivel that is devoid of anything remotely entertaining or anything that made the original entertaining in its own right. In 2006 Warner Brothers decided to remake the 1973 classic film Wicker Man. Instead of trying to adhere to the original, Warner threw everything that made Robin Hardy's original such a classic and have since replaced it with moments that were meant to scare us but instead come off as almost laughable.
In this remake actor Nicholas Cage stars as detective Edward Maius. We quickly learn that Edward's former fiancée Willow (Kate Beahan) left him a few years back without any reason why. Edward soon receives a letter from Willow stating that their daughter Rowan has gone missing. Traveling to the island of Summerisle, Edward soon learns that the island that Willow has moved to (oddly comprised entirely of woman) may have something to do with their missing child. Edward searches high and low trying to figure out who these women are, what they do and who exactly is the so-called Wicker Man.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by David Annandale on February 13th, 2007
A group of former college friends (now apparently weathered by life, though they look as if they are CURRENT college friends) gather at beach cottage for a reunion. Stresses and resentments within the various marriages and couplings quickly put a damper on the weekend, and a desultory evening’s conversation leads to a few members of the group playing the party game that consists in reciting “Dead Mary” in front of a mirror. Inevitably, the evil spirit is summoned, and people start being killed off. Victims have the unfortunate habit of reanimating, however, which leads to mounting paranoia, as no one knows who can be trusted to still be human.
So the rather odd cross-fertilization that we have here is Friday the 13th with John Carpenter’s version of The Thing. Miraculously, an abrupt ending with several loose ends aside, the mix works, thanks in no small part to a strong cast and sharp dialogue that make our group far more believable (and thus sympathetic) than one has come to expect in films of this kind. It ain’t perfect, but it sure ain’t bad, either.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by Gino Sassani on February 7th, 2007
The prologue to The Covenant tells us of people with supernatural powers. We're told of how these powerful warlocks and witches were hunted throughout Europe and escaped to the New England colonies in the New World. The information is provided with the contradictions of pseudogrunge music and pages of ancient texts. It doesn't take us long to meet young men, descendants from these immigrant families. We discover them flaunting their powers by jumping off a cliff on the way to a teen party. These four special teen boys have the world, or at least their local community, by the short hairs. Soon we are alerted that something has changed. The group feels a strong presence that is disturbing their supernatural force. Newcomer Chase Collins (Stan) has a secret of his own. He is the last of a fifth family once banished from the society. His return means the usual tale of revenge and mayhem is about to unfold. Throw in a generous amount of teen sex, loud music, and fast cars, and we have a quite furious but erratic romp. We're informed in roundabout ways that the society operates under certain rules intended to keep the secret and allow them to remain safe. Unfortunately these rules appear more like suggestions, really, as the boys are usually apt to show off their powers whether being chased by police or merely to remove a girl's pants to win a bet. We also learn that using this force drains the user's life, causing premature aging, if the powers are used too frequently. Of course, there is always a potential workaround to such unfortunate effects. It seems any warlock may will his powers onto another, particularly at their 18th birthday when they come into full possession of their "gifts".
Comparisons to the superior Underworld films can't be helped. The box art invites such comparisons by telling us the film's share producers. The idea of a secret society with sinister history and secrets create a common thread. But warlocks are just not as cool as vampires and werewolves. Blue tints to the cinematography complete the comparisons. The Covenant obviously attempts to stay more grounded in reality and so is far more mundane overall. The film employs an odd combination of complex simplicity. We are treated to hints of this incredibly rich tradition and history, yet it is all cheapened by the one dimensional performance of the cast. We are always tantalizingly close to something larger that never makes its appearance on film. None of these characters exhibit the culture and sophistication that the filmmakers want so badly to convince us they possess. The film wants so much to be epic in its scope, but no power on heaven or earth, supernatural or otherwise, is going to make that happen. Add to these flaws some horrid examples of dialogue looping (dialogue replacement) and one begins to wonder if Renny Harlin was so obsessed with largesse that he simply ignored the critical details. Check out the looping at about 25 minutes into the film.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by David Annandale on February 5th, 2007
Three young couples on a road trip leave their turtled vehicle and march through the dark woods, hoping to find the highway again. (Clearly Mensa candidates, each and every one.) They stumble upon an apparently abandoned secret facility, and naturally blunder in. A psychically powered lunatic uses astral projection to do bad things to them. People start to die. No great loss.
Think through this equation for me, will you? Direct-to-video + walking-around-tunnels-plot + Tara Reid = ? What do you think? That the movie is not a COMPLETELY incompetent mess at the technical level is a minor miracle. That it would be anything other than tedious, however, would have required a major one.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by David Annandale on January 31st, 2007
Bridget Moynahan is the new stepmother to Peter Weller’s children. 14-year-old Carly Schroeder is not at all pleased with the state of affairs, and just as displeased to be hauled off to Africa for a safari while Weller works on a dam. When their guide goes off-road, they run afoul of a pride of lions. The guide is eaten, the car is disabled, and the lions are circling. Weller mounts a hunt for his missing family, hiring a misanthropic big-game hunter to help.
There are more than a few echoes of Jaws here. If Grizzly advertised itself as “Jaws with Claws,” is this “Jaws with Paws”? Most of the elements are there, if we replace the slowly sinking Orca in the ocean with the disabled vehicle in the savannah, and the hunter is in full-on Quint mode. The finale is pretty familiar, too. So nothing much new, right down to the predictable family dynamics, but it’s all pretty entertaining, and the eating scenes are nicely gruesome.
Posted in: Disc Reviews by David Annandale on January 31st, 2007
Arriving at a small English town, backpacker Christina Ricci is promptly run over by a car. Despite the impressive impact, she seems unharmed, apart from a complete loss of memory. The woman who hit her takes her in, and Ricci promptly bonds with the children, especially the little boy, who, like her, sees scary things at night. Meanwhile, the kids’ father (Stephen Dillane) is investigating a long-buried 1st Century church nearby, whose crucifixion scene is disturbingly out of whack. Ominous hints gather.
When the mystery is revealed, it is accompanied by a twist unlikely to surprise anyone with even a passing familiarity with horror films. Fortunately, the film doesn’t stand or fall on that telegraphed twist, which furthermore sets up the climax, rather than BEING the climax. The film’s central idea, though, is an interesting one, and the execution is nicely understated. This isn’t a classic in the making, but as an atmospheric little horror tale, it acquits itself honourably.
![The Wicker Man (2006) (Rated and Unrated) [HD DVD] dvd cover art](https://upcomingdiscs.com/ecs_covers/the-wicker-man-2006-rated-and-un-large.jpg)
